[20oney]

What I mean by this is do you ever go see T, feel absolutely terrible - you e had a bad day, or something has triggered you - but you manage to kind of fly under their radar...? I've noticed I have been doing this a lot. Like I don't share much anyway, but sometimes I dissociate or space out, and they don't notice - I don't notice until later.. she has picked up on it once

I never intentionally do this and I'm always kicking myself after the fact. But I'm wondering if anyone else manages to dodge their T's suspicions? Sometimes I'm a little proud that I am still able to do this. But generally not, because that's not what I do there..

[Spangle]

I used to do that in the early days of therapy. I tell him now. Sometimes I won’t say just how bad I am, but he will now prize it out of me. That helps me though.

[nikon]

I kind of do this, I think. Most of the time I will be quite straightforward if I've felt very down or anxious or angry in the past week, but when it comes to other things I often don't talk about them, and I get really frustrated with myself because it feels like I'm wasting my time there. Sometimes I do zone out completely and can't finish a sentence but I don't know if my therapist picks up on it or not - like if he thinks it's just because i take really long to get through a sentence, or if he realises i completely zone out and can't remember what i was thinking or what the question was.

[MatBell]

I feel so bad afterwards if I don’t get to tell my t what is wrong. I have to get it out to some person, and she is pretty much it for me.

[anais_anais]

Do I ever not

Sometimes it's intentional because I just don't have the energy to go there. But most of the time it's because I can't communicate how bad things are. Even speaking about it in moderate terms feels as though I'm shouting from a mountaintop. When I say "I haven't been feeling all that well" it usually translates to "I'm actively making a plan." This is something I really ought to speak to T about but simply haven't.

[satsuma]

Well I don't know if I do it deliberately, but sometimes I think that T just doesn't "get" how bad things are. Or maybe it's just that he's being relentlessly positive!

Sometimes we want to feel heard and seen don't we? I do anyway.

I used to try to do that a lot, but my last two therapist were astute enough to catch it and address the issue. When I did attachment therapy my therapist always knew when I was about to disassociate and would not let me get there.

Now, I no longer disassociate.

[AllHeart]

My t has the uncanny ability to nail me every time. I can hide nothing.

[stopchewinggum]

I have the opposite problem. I tend to minimize everything. At first everyone declared this to be part of flat affect, but as I got better, they just thought I was getting stable. They just kept telling me I was one tough cookie. When I finally started to crumble, no one would listen to me, and then finally I broke. I got stuck trying to hold all the pieces together, and the pieces no longer fit back together again.

He never cared about me, so it wouldn't matter.

[Victoria'smom]

All the time.

[Salmon77]

No. What's the point? I go to therapy so I can tell someone what's on my mind.

[nikon]

Originally Posted by Salmon77

No. What's the point? I go to therapy so I can tell someone what's on my mind.

I would really like to practise this attitude. a lot of the time i have this in my head in therapy but find it difficult to speak

[20oney]

Originally Posted by nikon

I would really like to practise this attitude. a lot of the time i have this in my head in therapy but find it difficult to speak

I'm like this too. I try to remind myself that I am paying her, and she's used this kind of thing. But it never works heh

[alpacalicious]

Originally Posted by Salmon77

No. What's the point? I go to therapy so I can tell someone what's on my mind.

Yes I really want to be more straightforward too. But at the same time I feel this resistance and hold back or don't say things...and I ask myself "girl, you are paying for this, why not tell things?". But I guess this resistance is normal and something that some clients do. And therapists too expect resistance from clients (are they expecting it at some point right?). When I resist like this I feel guilty because I'm worried I'm wasting the T time.

[Salmon77]

I was just thinking, also, that some Ts might see that a client is having a rough time or concealing something but believe it is up to the client to control the conversation, so not ask what's wrong or whatever. So it's possible you might think you're "flying under the radar" when actually you're not.

[20oney]

Originally Posted by Salmon77

I was just thinking, also, that some Ts might see that a client is having a rough time or concealing something but believe it is up to the client to control the conversation, so not ask what's wrong or whatever. So it's possible you might think you're "flying under the radar" when actually you're not.

Yes! I wonder this about my T a lot. But, I kind of expect her to call me out as I believe that she should know by now, that it is highly unlikely for me to control the conversation.
But yeah, you're absolutely right, and I'd say this happens a lot!!

[Miswimmy1]

My biggest issue is that when I talk to t, I often feel like whatever problem I had before is less problematic. Somehow, just talking to T makes me feel better and make whatever crisis I had been experiencing that day seem a little bit overly dramatic. So during session, I come across as doing okay. But either before session or after session, I am a complete mess.

After working with me for a while, most of my therapists have gathered this about me and can usually tell, either by tone of voice or something in my body language, that I'm not being completely honest and will press me for more details. And then as we start talking, sometimes the problem becomes more problematic again. If that makes any sense at all.

[MessyD]

I sometimes try but usually get caught

[satsuma]

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

My biggest issue is that when I talk to t, I often feel like whatever problem I had before is less problematic. Somehow, just talking to T makes me feel better and make whatever crisis I had been experiencing that day seem a little bit overly dramatic. So during session, I come across as doing okay. But either before session or after session, I am a complete mess.

After working with me for a while, most of my therapists have gathered this about me and can usually tell, either by tone of voice or something in my body language, that I'm not being completely honest and will press me for more details. And then as we start talking, sometimes the problem becomes more problematic again. If that makes any sense at all.

I think I do the same! It's easier to believe the "good" thoughts in T's office isn't it?

My T knows how it is with me though because we have contact between sessions.

Also, the things that we have been over and over in therapy sessions have, for me, become gradually easier to hold onto outside of T's office, to the point that now they are my default position.

I'm glad that your T understands how it is with you! It's good that we feel a lot better with T, I think, but would be frustrating if we felt that they didn't know what was going on between sessions and outside of their office.

[Sarmas]

I always fly under the radar. I’m just too good at it. I think I’m working on perfecting it which is scary. She doesn’t care anyway. She rarely asks different questions or touches on subjects that need addressing. It’s usually all based on my diet and how I take things personally which I don’t. I’m not sure how to explain this anymore.

[annielovesbacon]

I do it all the time. It's my worst therapy habit. She asks me how I am and every time I say "fine." Sometimes the conversation develops enough where I can tell her how I'm REALLY doing. But sometimes it doesn't, and she doesn't realize how bad I'm doing. I know it's not good.

[stopdog]

I found the therapist to be useless for about 99% of stuff I tried to tell her about. I found the therapist to be useless for about 99% of stuff I tried to tell her about. It was useful to be able to tell her stuff about my sick person. The woman indicated that she thinks I quit talking about certain things because somehow magically I no longer had issues around those areas when in fact I simply quit telling her because of her uselessness. The woman has never been any good at reading me. I don't know that's what you mean by flying under the radar or not.

Sometimes earlier on in my therapy, before my therapists had learned all my quirks, I certainly managed to do that, but it didn't take too long before they had that aspect of me figured out and called me on any attempt to do so pretty quickly. I got to a place where I made the choice to just cut to the chase and let them know exactly "where" I was because I was ready to feel better and try to be done with all things therapy. The way my last therapist and I worked that out was that every session started with a routine of checking in on basic levels such as depression levels, sleep patterns, eating, etc.; we had taken the time to really define to how those related to and were indicative of my general well-being. It was important since I was dealing with bipolar symptoms; it was a way of keeping me honest with myself and with my therapist for my own safety and stability.