Couch 156: The Clock Strikes...

I would miss you if you stopped posting

i drank gross instant coffee. now i feel nausea

If the Force is a desire to curl up in a ball in bed under a blanket clutching a pillow and completely ignore the world, well then, the Force is strong in me today.

A year ago the whole Smaug ultimatum/“abandonment” happened. And it’s been impossible to have any trust in therapy/ists since. (Not that the quality of some of those I saw helped.)

My son turns 19 today. I got up early and made him breakfast before he left for work and got to give him a happy birthday hug. He works all day, then goes straight to school, then he's going out with his friends so it was my only chance! I love that boy so much and am so proud of him. Sure don't get to see much of him anymore. But I guess I still see him more than I would if he had gone away to college...

I have t tomorrow after work, this weekend h and I need to look over my benefits from work cuz I need to make my elections for 2018, and I need to get started on my unit 3 paper for psych class.

Hugs/head nods as appropriate to those who need/want. I hope everyone has good things happen today.

Good advice. Yesterday i did cake AND exercise. Lotsa cake, and lotsa exercise. Including lots of stretching. I cant believe how tight my hamstrings are. I must look like a walking letter S. It feels like they will never loosen up, but i know i just have to keep at it.

My partner found this:

o.O

I cant believe it! Maybe anais should try that for her conductor who wants her to show more expression!

Lol QM....

Session in three hours. I think I want to tell him I need a break from therapy. I want to push him away and run away from everything. I'm so tired of everything lately. If I tell him I want a break, he'll want to know why, and I don't think I can be honest with him about my reasons. I don't know what I should do.

((((NP))) If you were to take a break I think it would be best to talk about it in a session first. I know its hard though. I think you should go. I can pocket ride if you'd like.

((NP)) Try & talk to your t if you can. But ultimately, trust your gut & do what feels right.

Haha I've seen this

Yesterday he made a sexual harrassment "me too" joke. I wanted to vomit. He looks at me like I completely revolt him.

Oh I get it now. What with the thumbnail being upside down

My D received a $200 bonus for the contribution of ideas to make the window display of the candle shop she works in more attractive, it has raised the number of walk ins, but being her parents daughter she said maybe it was just early Christmas shoppers. This was on top of her sales bonuses which she recently won an award for. She one works 3 hours a week and ones school I would have died from an anxiety attack if I did that at 17.

It’s just like this day last year. Got through the morning and into the afternoon because I had to, then as soon as I start home my stomach twists and the feeling of trust betrayed by multiple professionals at once takes over. There suddenly isn’t anyone there.

There was/is no ground beneath my feet. And it was/is the worst feeling in the world.

BCM that is so awesome!

I'm not supposed to lament the incompetence of my coworkers on Facebook, so I'll do it here.

... WHERE A.run_date = B.run_date
runs but produces the wrong answer.

... WHERE A.run_date = B.test_date
is correct.

What gormless twollop designed a database like that?!

'Gormless twollop' - you have such a wonderful turn of phrase, CE.

Stealing that next time I need a non-insult insult.

Anniversaries are powerful. (Insight courtesy of Madame T.)

I think I got that from Last of the Summer Wine.

Does sound a bit Peter Sellers-esque.

I was still to sick to go to therapy, so we did an email session and my therapist knocked it out of the park with 19 emails in an hour--and those were just the ones from her. When I said we were out of time, she said she didn't know what I meant until she looked at the clock. It really flew by. I had two issues on my agenda, so while she was writing a reply to one issue, I was writing in response to her reply on the other, and we went back and forth like that pretty seamlessly. I missed seeing her in person, but am glad to have been able to stay home and off the road.

Ugh, he sounds like a real nasty piece of work

I had this weird experience in which my insurance company switched to listing T's home address. I don't like conflict, so I thought about saying nothing; but then I thought what if someone went to his house where he has little kids etc. In the process of giving him my claim to show the insurance company, I suddenly realized hoe MUCH I pay this person, and how at times there will be a 25 dollar surcharge but I don't know why. I looked at it like paying tuition, but it is dawning on me how much I worry about pleasing this person and being a good patient when I actually pay him 2x a week. I guess I have been blocking that out to make it seem nicer, or like he cares about me as a project if not a person. Seeing all those claims online for a year in a list was like the ice bucket challenge or at least a bucket of cold water - ummm this person sees himself as my doctor for fifty minutes and not all the personal things I wish at times. I wonder what the codes mean under "remarks" ?

The kittens keep running all over my keyboard and opening programs I never knew I had and arent listed in the stupid Windows 10 start menu. Why have a supposedly complete list of alphabeticised program whenn they arent all listed? I hate the alphabet thhing I am used to arranging my start menu as categories and subcategories THAT MEAN SOMETHING TO ME! Thats how my brain works!