Couch 156: The Clock Strikes...

I spent a lot of time thinking about myself.
I tried to find something positive. It's almost impossible.
Well, I'm kind and caring... I think.

And yes, you're great people and I like you

You're definitely kind and you're definitely caring. You're intelligent, brave, persistent, tenacious, hardworking, honest.

One thing T keeps reminding me of is "Don't listen to what your parents say about who you are. Listen to friends who care about you."

Healthy friends, not your current dismissive friends. Yes, we're out there. Yes, you'll find local friends who are good. I know it seems impossible, but you really can. Will have to tell you a story of my chosen sibling who went from being completely housebound from agoraphobia, to having good, safe, supportive local friends

((((Capt))))

Seeing T in half an hour and feeling awful. I've been pushing stuff to the back of my mind and I don't want to talk about it again. I'm so anxious and I actually don't want to see him (which I hardly ever feel).
It's too hard. Any pocket riders?

Today I treated myself to a new pair of shoes to wear to my D formal as well as a pair of dress slacks and 2 new pillows to replace the one flat lumpy one I have been sleeping on for the past 5 years. I can't go to sleep because the pillow is now holding my head in the right position and it is slightly uncomfortable. Oh well you can't win them all.

Me. I will most likely still be awake

I'm in, I'll bring cookies

I'll hop in. Hope it goes well...

I'm in too! I hope it will go well for you

Oops, I was 10 mins too late. I hope your session went well

Thanks all. It went well but was extremely difficult. Turns out when I thought I was being compassionate to my younger self, I was actually only compassionate with my past self. Not with the younger part that still exists within me, which I still hold in contempt. Well there's a lot of self-compassion work I didn't know I need to do.

7 hrs since last post!! Cool whip!

Yeah, not a lot going on here today. Maybe everybody (in the US, at least) is sleeping off their sugar crash. We didn't get a ton of trick-or-treaters, so now we're left with a giant bowl of candy. Not that I'm complaining...

My father had a stroke this morning. My nephew had gone over to pick him up to go exercise together and noticed one side of his face was drooping. He is alert and walking and talking, but it was a stroke. The cardiac ablation they did about two years ago is no longer working which is probably what set this off. So glad my nephew is around for him; nephew is a nurse and EMT, so he's been a Godsend in dealing with my parents.

I'm so sorry do they know if there will be longterm damage? I'm glad he's awake amd alert and that your nephew is around

LG - sorry to hear about your father.It is great that your nephew was there.

(((LG)))

So sorry, Lola--glad your nephew was there and noticed what was going on. Hopefully no serious lasting damage...

Hugs LG, sending good thoughts. Glad nephew was there to help.

I'm in training at work so haven't looked at my phone much. Learning lots though and excited about my new position!

Sorry to hear Lola.

So I sent my t the email about feeling having a hard time terminating because I will miss our relationship.. silence. Not a good email to be silent about. I am mean it's totally fine, and I know his reaction will be kind and supportive, but a little email to acknowledge and leave it hanging would have felt a bit better. I see him in the morning though!

Will be keeping your father in my thoughts, Lola. It's a good thing indeed that your nephew was there.

I'm around, not sleeping off the sugar, though I've been very tired today. Just...I don't know if I belong here anymore. It's a weird feeling.

Do you mean belong here on PC? Or just belonging in general. Because I often feel like I don't belong here because I don't know the right thing to say and feel others see my lack of response as not caring

Here's a pic of my dog watching the kittens eat his dry food