Double booking by T and feelings of abandonment

Yes yes yes!!!!! That’s exactly it. Sorry you went through that as well. Your sessions then become revolves around issues with your T where everything is placed on the client. Mine loves transference issues but I didn’t know that she created the issues. I’m not sure if certain Ts that behave in such manner is due to their own unresolved issues. One thing is clear though .they don’t see how much of a negative affect it has on the client and the damage that their causing.

It’s true what you say. Who wants to pay for sessions concerning issues created by the therapist. The therapist never gives in and says that their wrong in this case. I know mine would turn it around and somehow I’m the cause and it’s due to my issue from the past that I’m projecting onto her . Huh???????

Man, I feel angry for you! The double booking is bad enough. Telling you she doesn't want to get a text from you later saying you're angry just adds insult to injury.

If I were you (and because I sometimes like to act out in a juvenile manner), I'd send her 20 texts about how angry you are. (I'm not recommending this, just saying that's probably how I'd act if I were you because I'd be SO MAD.)

I know what i wanted to say and what i wanted to do in a way but i was trying to look for the most effective and meaningful way to come across in order for her not justify her actions and blame my diagnosis. I was upset to the point of crying because things have been accumulating and the fact that she didn’t even catch it early or even remember me coming being that i mentioned it a few days before. It just showed me how involved she is and how Much she pays attention to what i say. Just frustrating. When she texted me last i wanted to voice myself but she will just say that i can come in and discuss it with her. She has no idea how i took it. I’m sure I’m not the first client or the last that it will happen to. She will write it off as part of therapy.

Me too, except I may send 50!!

Hahahaha

I had a therapist that got 35 emails throughout the day. She answered 21 of them. I have a therapist now on standby that has gotten at least 12 in a day.

Funny thing is they don't bat an eye. They both try their best to understand what is happening to me in the moment so that I can settle down and move forward.

Omg that’s fantastic!!! Mine once chewed me out in a session because of it. I texted her once during a major issue that i was having. She said nothing . There was no reply. Then come my session time i sat down and she lectured me and told me that when i texted her she was a birthday party that her daughter was invited to and that i interrupted her time. She said that she’s not obligated to answer me when out of session and that the o oh time that she needs to commit to me is during session because that’s what i pay her for. I was almost in tears. I held it back so well for that entire session. Longest session of my life. At least it felt like that. I thought my T hates me. I then took a break. My T now won’t respond like that. That’s why when she called me to tell me that she double booked i knew something was bad.

I never responded to her text yesterday concerning her 9am opening today. She never touched base with me either. I think i picked a winner.

I think that we could endlessly talk about all kinds of flaws of your T. But that is irrelevant. The relevant question is why do you still keep seeing her when she is so unprofessional and unhelpful to you. Why do you keep paying to her for this crappy treatment? What do you get from it so much that you can’t give it up and look for a better treatment for yourself?

Actually I’ve come to the conclusion that i need to value myself. when she has decided to act in such manner acting in my best interest. At this point I’m better off without her. I don’t see the point of paying her to fix the issues that she causes and then not to address my issues appropriately. She can do that to her other clients sadly. I’m mentally done with her. Recently i had a similar issue at my job where my boss was taking me for granted and after 6 years i moved on. I should’ve done it earlier. This is the same issue. I think it’s time for me to be wise and move on. I’m just going to focus on what helps me function in the real world and go on from there.

How are you doing Sarmas?

I guess I’m hanging in there. I’m not sure if I’m avoiding or what. I know I’ve become quieter and I’m just trying to move forward. I guess I’m roughing it out and I’m trying not to think about things. My issues remain in the background and I get to face it every now and then throughout the day and i just remind myself to move on. It’s not easy trying to be your own therapist. It is what it is at this point. Sometimes I feel like I’m a little everywhere and then I try to distract myself. I don’t know. I read posts here on the forum and I want to reply at times but I don’t have the psychological energy of you know what I mean. I just tell myself at times to suck it up. Then I had issues with my ex and that didn’t help. So far I’m trying to take it one day at a time. Thanks for asking. I really appreciate it.

It sounds like you're doing pretty well. Your last post seemed positive-I hope you can keep that up. You do sound kind of tired, or maybe it takes a lot of effort to push aside the thoughts. Maybe you need to rest and relax, grieve a bit more before you get to a healthy, positive place? You can do it.

It was a very positive move to quit seeing her, hope you can feel good about yourself for the strength and self respect it took to do what you did.

I know how difficult it can be to get in a good place. If it's held in, it can come out as bitterness or anger if left unattended.

Im still harboring those feelings with my T, though ive seen him a couple of times recently. Dont feel comfortable discussing with him...

Its so hard when they dont own their stuff or make any effort to make amends. Though with your T, its her loss as she never earned your respect. I guess im trying to say, please talk if you need to.

Some days are easier than others. I’m trying to focus more on me and my goals . I’ve developed personal goals. It’s not easy after seeing my T for so long to move on but we’ve had issues before. Now she has so much going on that she has no idea how detrimental it is when you’re affecting a client in a negative way. It’s true if I don’t vouch for myself then who will. I sacrifice quite a bit and I adjust for therapy but if she’s not willing to work with me and she’s working against me then what’s the point.

Sorry that you feel that way . I’ve been in that position many times with my T. It’s not easy to deal with and yet to discuss your personal life. It seems that when they don’t own up to things or they don’t try to correct what they’ve caused certain clients to take a few steps back. A positive relationship makes helps me move forward and want to open up but one where there’s a n issue I close up as well. Then at the end of every session I would wonder if it was worth going and spending the time and money. Just disappointing.

The choice is to stay and pay her and only have 1/2 of her attention if that and then her be absent during a crisis or just end it all. Although it’s not easy I think it was best to end it.