Couch 158: The Newberry Couch!

junkDNA · Dec 03, 2017, 07:28 PM

Possible trigger:

I see it around me, I see it in everything
I could be so much more than this
I said my goodbye's this is my sundown
I'm going to be so much more than this
With one hand high, you'll show them your progress
You'll take your time, but no one cares
No one cares

I need you to show me the way from crazy
I want to be so much more than this
With one hand high, you'll show them your progress
You'll take your time, but no one cares
With one hand high, you'll show them your progress
You'll take your time, but no one cares
No one cares

I could be so much more than this
No one cares
I want to be so much more than this
No one cares
I could be so much more than this
No one cares
I want to be so much more than this
No one cares
I want to be so much more than this
No one cares
I want to be so much more than this

Good Goodbye, lovely time
Good Goodbye, tinsel shine
Good Goodbye, I'll be fine
Good Goodbye, good goodnight

junkDNA · Dec 03, 2017, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

(((Jd))) would talking help in general, specific, vague or metaphorical terms

I'm feeling very hopeless and depressed and suicidal

Possible trigger:

I'm sitting here crying with a box cutter I stole from work. I haven't used it. I don't want to but idk what else to do anymore. My life is crap and always has been. People like to say it gets better but who even really knows. Plus I'm just getting older. I'm tired I want to sleep but I have nightmares so I get up but I don't want to be awake with these intense feelings and thoughts. I'm tired of being me

LonesomeTonight · Dec 03, 2017, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

I'm feeling very hopeless and depressed and suicidal

Possible trigger:

I'm sitting here crying with a box cutter I stole from work. I haven't used it. I don't want to but idk what else to do anymore. My life is crap and always has been. People like to say it gets better but who even really knows. Plus I'm just getting older. I'm tired I want to sleep but I have nightmares so I get up but I don't want to be awake with these intense feelings and thoughts. I'm tired of being me

Hugs JD...Could you contact your T? He really seems to care...

junkDNA · Dec 03, 2017, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Hugs JD...Could you contact your T? He really seems to care...

I did contact him and he ignored me

junkDNA · Dec 03, 2017, 07:54 PM

Which makes things even worse

Feeling ignored is my biggest trigger

velcro003 · Dec 03, 2017, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

Which makes things even worse

Feeling ignored is my biggest trigger

i know it is, but i doubt he is ignoring you. he just may not have time to respond. doesn't have a new baby in the house?

what are you supposed to do if there is a crisis? we have a local hotline we can call if we are feeling this bad.

deep down i hope you know your T cares a lot about you. please try to keep that in mind.

CantExplain · Dec 03, 2017, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

I'm feeling very hopeless and depressed and suicidal

Possible trigger:

I'm sitting here crying with a box cutter I stole from work. I haven't used it. I don't want to but idk what else to do anymore. My life is crap and always has been. People like to say it gets better but who even really knows. Plus I'm just getting older. I'm tired I want to sleep but I have nightmares so I get up but I don't want to be awake with these intense feelings and thoughts. I'm tired of being me

Is there a friend or even a neighbour who can come and comfort you? I don't think you should be alone.

unaluna · Dec 03, 2017, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

Which makes things even worse

Feeling ignored is my biggest trigger

Is it the full moon? This has been a horrible weekend for me too. I dont have chocolate. I need chocolate. Im such a baby.

CantExplain · Dec 03, 2017, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

Which makes things even worse

Feeling ignored is my biggest trigger

I think it would be a really good idea to phone for an ambulance.

If my wife were talking like you are, I'd phone one myself over her objections.

StressedMess · Dec 03, 2017, 09:41 PM

(((JD)))

rainbow8 · Dec 04, 2017, 03:34 AM

junkDNA, are you feeling any better? I can't sleep and just read your posts. I hate being ignored too!

SalingerEsme · Dec 04, 2017, 03:54 AM

Are you okay? Do you have a sleeping pill or way to get to sleep for a few hours to give you mind a break?

junkDNA · Dec 04, 2017, 06:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Is there a friend or even a neighbour who can come and comfort you? I don't think you should be alone.

I had one friend irl but I told him not to talk to me anymore because of what the voices were telling me about him. I now know it wasn't real and just made up stuff..... But I don't know how to fix it.. I feel like such an ***

junkDNA · Dec 04, 2017, 06:34 AM

I did take my night meds and sleep. Slept better than I have in a while. I have to shower and go to work now. I'm sorry for disappearing without updating that I am ok

precaryous · Dec 04, 2017, 07:19 AM

Glad you had a restful night’s sleep. Nights are the worst!

precaryous · Dec 04, 2017, 07:28 AM

I’ll be getting ready in a bit for my delayed surgery.
They are going to swap out the old pacemaker/defib with newer technology.

The last two times we have changed the batteries..I’ve been awake (no pain) thru the procedure. I want to be asleep!!

I think it’s bc I’m on a regular dose of Ativan at home..which makes me immune to the Versed they give me. I’ve tried backing down off the Ativan this time around but I’ve had more than my share of disasters and anxiety lately.

I don’t think I get my own anesthesiologist...but I’ll be telling everyone....I was awake the last two times...”...

Leaving in two hours to be there by 10:30am. Should b home later this afternoon.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 04, 2017, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by precaryous

I’ll be getting ready in a bit for my delayed surgery.
They are going to swap out the old pacemaker/defib with newer technology.

The last two times we have changed the batteries..I’ve been awake (no pain) thru the procedure. I want to be asleep!!

I think it’s bc I’m on a regular dose of Ativan at home..which makes me immune to the Versed they give me. I’ve tried backing down off the Ativan this time around but I’ve had more than my share of disasters and anxiety lately.

I don’t think I get my own anesthesiologist...but I’ll be telling everyone....I was awake the last two times...”...

Leaving in two hours to be there by 10:30am. Should b home later this afternoon.

Hope it goes well!

rainbow8 · Dec 04, 2017, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by precaryous

I’ll be getting ready in a bit for my delayed surgery.
They are going to swap out the old pacemaker/defib with newer technology.

The last two times we have changed the batteries..I’ve been awake (no pain) thru the procedure. I want to be asleep!!

I think it’s bc I’m on a regular dose of Ativan at home..which makes me immune to the Versed they give me. I’ve tried backing down off the Ativan this time around but I’ve had more than my share of disasters and anxiety lately.

I don’t think I get my own anesthesiologist...but I’ll be telling everyone....I was awake the last two times...”...

Leaving in two hours to be there by 10:30am. Should b home later this afternoon.

I hope it goes well for you too!

Lemoncake · Dec 04, 2017, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by precaryous

I’ll be getting ready in a bit for my delayed surgery.
They are going to swap out the old pacemaker/defib with newer technology.

The last two times we have changed the batteries..I’ve been awake (no pain) thru the procedure. I want to be asleep!!

I think it’s bc I’m on a regular dose of Ativan at home..which makes me immune to the Versed they give me. I’ve tried backing down off the Ativan this time around but I’ve had more than my share of disasters and anxiety lately.

I don’t think I get my own anesthesiologist...but I’ll be telling everyone....I was awake the last two times...”...

Leaving in two hours to be there by 10:30am. Should b home later this afternoon.

Wishing you all the best.

Dec 04, 2017, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by precaryous

I’ll be getting ready in a bit for my delayed surgery.
They are going to swap out the old pacemaker/defib with newer technology.

The last two times we have changed the batteries..I’ve been awake (no pain) thru the procedure. I want to be asleep!!

I think it’s bc I’m on a regular dose of Ativan at home..which makes me immune to the Versed they give me. I’ve tried backing down off the Ativan this time around but I’ve had more than my share of disasters and anxiety lately.

I don’t think I get my own anesthesiologist...but I’ll be telling everyone....I was awake the last two times...”...

Leaving in two hours to be there by 10:30am. Should b home later this afternoon.

Sending good thoughts along to you that everything goes well!

Lemoncake · Dec 04, 2017, 08:33 AM

Exam dates have been released Immunology is just after Christmas on the 12th Jan and I'm feeling scared.

I did send R an email yesterday saying I wanted to cancel my two sessions.I just emailed now asking if I could have them back.

healed84 · Dec 04, 2017, 10:20 AM

Can I just say... I think I may finally understand the desire/want/longing for t to hug me. I have never had a strong feeling about it one way or another. I am not a touchy person in general so.

But- with the process of separating from husband. And dealing with some flash black and other trauma stuff I have the urge just to be held and hugged by somebody. But not just anybody.. a person who knows what is going on in my life and gets it. And right now that is two people. My bff who lives half way across the country from me and my t.

I could totally see the validity and healing that could happen it a case like this. I probably will never ask, and I don't think he would say yes anyways.. but I kind of get it. Thought I would share here.

stopdog · Dec 04, 2017, 11:37 AM

Healed-sorry I missed where you and your husband are separating. That can be very hard. Good luck with it all.

atisketatasket · Dec 04, 2017, 11:59 AM

I am killing time while proctoring an exam by taking a university-mandated online "course" for faculty and staff on how not to discriminate. For some reason, most of it is not about discrimination but about sexual harassment and assault and abusive relationships. Which is not triggering at all.

stopdog · Dec 04, 2017, 12:05 PM

We have some mandatory ones on abuse etc.
They are idiotic attempts to shield the univ. from liability. We in the law school have great fun with them and the moronic attorney in charge of this crap.

I can see where it could be distressing depending upon one's history.

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