Couch 158: The Newberry Couch!

I have a couple people in my life with an almost barren internal emotional landscape. Communication with them is impossible at times, but not un-entertaining. I'm glad we're able to laugh about it, especially since I rely on one of them for work. But man...talk about clueless.

BCM - glad you got your car. I hope the drugs have worn off by now.

Things are starting to click from therapy. I am crushing it with the holidays and family issues. They can do/behave as they please, I am having a Merry effing Christmas and it feels great.

Yeah...that's part of what I need therapy for and something T identified really early--first or second session--as something we need to focus on: my not being so affected by others' opinions of me. He said I seemed like a blank slate in some ways, that if someone I cared about (and/or authority figure, like teacher or boss) thought favorably of me, I felt good about myself, and if they thought negatively, I felt bad about myself. He said he wanted to help get me to a point where I had a strong enough sense of self that I might take those opinions under advisement, but not be so swayed by them.

I was kind of impressed he had such a good read on me so fast... Like, I always thought it was this big deal how well MC seemed to understand me more than anyone (ever)...but I'm wondering now if it wasn't more that ex-T DIDN'T really understand me...so it stood out more that he did. But if T seems to get what's going on with me psychologically, and faster than MC--maybe it's not about MC at all, but just someone with good psychological training who's good at listening and assessing people. (not that ex-T wasn't--I think she just wasn't a good fit for me...) In other words, maybe MC isn't so special after all...

I am bringing an adult cat into my household today. Bracing for the week to 10 days of complete pet unhappiness.

Good for you! I'm feeling like this is my year too. Doing Christmas my own way, with my own people, the ones who have pretty good track records for not making me feel miserable. It took a long time to get here, but it feels pretty good.

Well done, BCM!! I've never bought a car by myself before. That's a huge thing, to me.

I have enjoyed doing holidays my own way with my own friends. I think holidays are a pain with the constant bad music and closures and stuff, but the way I choose to handle the day has been good and not stressful. I stopped the family madness a long time ago and have not regretted it. Now we have a brief phone call with the parent and the sibling to wish them well and go on with my day.
This year is a bit tough because of the loss of my person and the rituals we had developed over the almost 30 years. But the hassle of adding her cat into my physical house may lead to me being more irritated that she left me and I have to have feuding cats rather than so sad.

Way to go!

)SD(

But, hey...another dog bed will be occupied.

I will be hemmed in my own bed by two cats and a dog or two more likely

So h and I get over to the dr's office, and find that they lost his appointment! ha. Well, he's feeling back to normal anyway. I almost have a sneaking suspiciion that the dr knew he'd be feeling better so they didn't even schedule it.... but.... I don't think he's that wily. (he's not a t, after all!)

After we got home from the non-doctor appt, I jumped in my car and went over to the college, apparently they 'lost' one of my registration forms so I had to go prove my citizenship again or they won't release my official grades that were being held hostage due to said form missing. Yet, they let me register and PAY for next semester without worrying about the form... funny how that works huh... I just logged in and indeed the hold is removed now. Yay!

Now I have the rest of the day off so playing on the computer and doing a load of laundry. H is already out on a job so I have the house to myself til he gets back.

WELL DONE! And not just because you asked for it. That really is a big deal. Choosing, inspecting, negotiating are all hard. And that is a lot of money. I hope the dread lessens as you get used to the idea, and as you drive your very own new car.

And me and artie - dont forget theres a couch road trip in progress to come to yours to play "the floor is lava" with the dog beds.

Well put! And well done, bcm

Thanks everyone! I am sorry i was so needy yesterday but my anxiety over being a car killer got the better of me and the fact that everyone in my life looks at me and sees disabled and assumes i need to be molly coddled and spoonfed. Even my ex who knew exactly what i could do physically but still wanted to baby me instead and be reliant on him.

Ack. I think all the dog beds are taken.

hey una lookee we got an Ack!

The last Ack was at the suggestion of sharing a onesie with a therapist.

So to SD you guys are on the level of therapists?

I'm feeling really horrible. I can't stop crying and I'm exhausted. I have to go to this stupid group later too

Gah...



I'm trembling on the inside...please, no more.

Hugs, Lost....

I am so in love with cashew cream I could marry it, and I am against marriage.