Couch 158: The Newberry Couch!

I have never had a therapist treat termination like a big thing. They were more like (shrug) oh well. Art, I think your therapist was just being accommodating to you.

I don't know...ex-T recently said (in response to an update e-mail I sent) that it could be good to have an official termination session since we ended kind of abruptly. MC also made a big deal about how I should have a termination session with her--actually, he thought I should take the time to work out my issues (mainly caused by negative maternal transference) with her, but yeah, no... And current T was all "I don't want to steal you from ex-T," and when I said I might want to see him on a regular basis instead of just a temporary consultation, he said I should probably have a termination session with her because I'd seen her so long (6 years). Honestly, I feel like right now, I'd be going more for ex-T's sake than for mine (like, guilt over ending so abruptly)...but then, she'll be away most of next month and it wouldn't be until Feb., so might just see how I feel then...

But yeah, all the pressure to have a termination session with her, like it's going to screw me up psychologically if I don't, felt kinda weird. I'm trying to move forward...

I guess it's so weird just cuz the whole relationship is. I dunno. I'm having a difficult time trying not to feel stupid after that phone call. Old habit, eh. Must practice skills and defeat old habit of beating self up. It's ok to let her be her caring self. It's ok to do what feels right to me.

She probably sensed my guilt about thinking I might ghost her..... now I get it!

I think Ts think termination sessions are a good thing, but I don't think I have ever seen any study that substantiated that they are helpful for all people. It seems like some here have found them helpful and others not.

I say, do what you want. You can always change your mind if you decide to hold off for a while.

I quit my last (long term) T over e-mail. She suggested a termination session, but I wrote her back that I was okay, and that was that. I don't think it is always something that "needs" to happen. I am completley okay with how I did it.
Maybe I am the outlier here, but I have gotten the impression that you were ready to quit, and I don't see why you feel so guilty you are not making a "termination" session. What is the guilt about?

I know I had no inclination to see DBC or CW for one last session. I managed without for 1 and 2 too. Info, dunno. I think I’d be OK.

But that damnable outlier therapist, 3, has managed to screw up termination twice. Oh, well. What can I do but find some old Greek woman to put a curse on her when I’m in Greece next week?

Anyone else want their therapist given the evil eye, just ask and I’ll add them to the list.

i think that sounds perfect, atat

i am saying that as someone who never felt comfortable with my T. With my current T, i don't think i could terminate over e-mail and not feel guilty.

i understand Artie, but I really feel like you are putting extraneous guilt on yourself in this situation.

ATAT -Well of course I do. What is the point of knowing someone who is going to greece if you can't get them to add the woman to the list of those given the evil eye.

Art - I think those people, while they like to couch it in terms of being for a client, are the ones who really benefit from a final appointment. They often get praised and/or thanked and they get to think they have accomplished something. If you don't want to do it, then don't. Haven't you spent years working on not feeling guilty for things? This could be an opportunity to just do what feels right to you without getting caught up in another person.

I am watching a fascinating video on making a tudor feast. It is an exhausting endeavor. It is a wonder everyone in Elizabethan times did not starve to death. A lot did.

When I was a kid we went to Disney World and somehow my parents ended up with free tickets to Henry VIII’s Dinner Party or some such. So we went.

Mostly I remember the whole huge roomful of people had to yell “Bring on the next remove!” when it was time for the next course.

And the court jester was not funny at all.

The guilt is because I told her I wouldn't just disappear on her and now part of me wants to.

Gnite all.

SD is that Heston Rosenthal i think he did a series where he recreated all historical period mels either him or another British celebrity chef, but it sounds like Heston

This is a group of historians and archeologists.

Recommendations please-
Taking 15 y/o grandson to see ‘Star Wars, the last Jedi...’
Should we see it in 3D, standard format or IMAX?

Admission is cheaper for matinees seen in standard format... $8 & $9.
Is it worth $3-$4 more to see it in 3D?

Do what's best for you.

Especially at Christmas time.

New couch created!
https://forums.psychcentral.com/psyc...ml#post5943908

Trying to get to 1000...

Art, I recognize myself in your reaction to the situation. It sometimes helps me to not worry about things like this if I shift it to being curious instead of self-blaming or shaming. It gives a little emotional distance to step back and be curious.

Also, I think LT is great example of leaving without guilt. She was with her T for 6 years. I admire that she is in no hurry to do a termination session. It's empowering to be the one to decide if and when to return and to not feel guilt about the decision one way or another.

I have too much to do this weekend...week...life.

S2 of The Crown is...zzzzzzz. But at least I can understand most of what's said.

Sometimes, I think about putting my face next to my dog's food dish while he eats and staring at him longingly with each bite, just so that he knows what that feels like.

Almost there...

I’ll help.