Hugging your T

When I was in therapy we hugged every session with almost every therapist I had. they were all the same sex as me. I usually initiated my asking for a hug the first time with them except for one she initiated it. After the first time though either I or they initiated it.

Yes, a few times, it was him that initiated though. I didn't think I wanted that because I'm not a very huggy person but it did feel really nice and not at all awkward. Maybe it was also at the right moment. I wouldn't want that all the time but it's helpful on a tough day. And no way I would ask for it.

My T has never touched me or any other client that I have seen coming or going. Once we talked about a notoriously huggy social worker popular in my city, and he seemed appalled that people hug clients. I cannot imagine hugging my T, even though he is my own age etc or maybe bc of that. His wife also seems super possessive, decorating his office with a huge picture of herself . He seems a little sheepish about it. I would struggle with being married to a T, I think, even though I am not an especially jealous type. He is bombarded with confiding & different degrees of "love" from female clients all day. It would be hard to imagine how a hug would go, that wasnt inappropriate after such intense sessions(?). That probably says more about me, than it does about hugging lol. Also maybe from watching In Treatment!

Sometimes we hug. Sometimes we don't. It depends on what I need from her. I am not a touchy feely person so it took some discussion before I felt comfortable with it even though it was something I wanted to do. Even now there are some days when she pushes too hard that I don't even want to shake her hand.... Mostly I enjoy it though. It's comforting and helps ground me and reassure me that she is there and everything is ok.

Both T's and I are the same gender. T and I started girly early on hugging at the end of ever session. EMDR T and I have never hugged. Not sure of I want to but I will never ask.

Just reading this thread (the individual comments) sometimes brings to mind handshakes and at other times, in male female instances, the T seems possibly to be modeling so called risk taking behavior. Nevertheless, from reading here top to bottom I'm all but positive that every single line would be altered by therapy in the prelude to pop-psychology and pop-psychology in its heyday before the dawn of psycho babble criticism. Advances in psychotherapy, love, pot, and pills made therapy more popular than rock, hip-hop, and heavy metal in any of their primes. Lots of touching, lots of hugging in group and individual sessions. Lots of love . . . :group hug: :☺:

I’m not a touchy-feely person. I don’t do hugging, in fact I don’t want anyone touching me, or getting into my personal space. My t keeps his distance & that works for me.

I also know that we can be split.

The adult part of us may not particularly desire a hug but the traumatized child in us may be terriffied and needing to hug

T and I hug every time we see each other.

T and I are of the same sex. I A-frame hug T at the end of each session. It started many sessions ago, when I asked if I could hug her. We discussed and she's willing. I also asked her if she's really OK with it as I didn't want her to hug me out of obligation.

In the beginning, I would ask if I could hug her and also ask if she's OK with it every single time before hugging her.

Now she stands up and sometimes opens an arm so I can hug her.

We've hugged 6 times - I even remember dates
I'm female, he's a male

I wish I could hug him more often... but not too often

I am not a hugger and my t doesn't seem to be either. It was the same with my ex t but she surprised me by suggesting a hug was one of the possible ways we could say goodbye as we were leaving our final session with her. I hadn't even considered it as a possibility, but when she suggested it I realized some parts wanted it, so we did have a quick hug. I can't imagine wanting one and asking for one though.

I think most good therapy follows a specific protocol, one that helps a client discover, create, and generally develop and execute options and alternatives for actions and behaviors in the betterment of my getting on with living. A hug being one of a number of ways to say goodbye developed between my T and I supports such a position. Trust.

I suppose me being willing to "A-frame" hug my T might evidence my guarded sexuality and/or the guarded state of my general personage. My inner child might intend for such a security ritual to go on forever, my parent might believe that it won't take long for me to grow out of this stage of my development, while my Adult might recognize my apparent insecurity and begin to work on it. I try to follow a specific therapy protocol as guided by a T specific applied technique. Otherwise I'm in the dark. Trust. Here, Eric Berne came to mind.

I have thought about this about hugs and even if I sometimes feel/have felt I could hug my T I´ve ended up at thinking I don´t want to. My reason for that is if I´d hug my T at one occasion and then some sessions later I perhaps realise I don´t want to continue therapy or I feel I´m disappointed in something the T did or said I would feel very awkward about having hugged her.

I think hugs should be allowed if the client feels a need for a hug as an ending to a session or similar but in my own case I feel it could damage the dynamics between me and the therapist.

I don´t like to be friendly with her during our walks to and from her office because of the similar reason that if I´m disappointed in her or I just don´t like her at the moment I feel it´s awkward having to chit-chat as we were colleagues, friends or similar.

Of course. I used to try keep my options open. Something better might come along and I'm not being committed if it does. As I get older the if in my previous construct grows bigger and bigger. And regrets, regrets I dread like a bad hair day. I've reduced the number of regets in my heart or head about my early years, but regrets I dread creating new ones. Hugs or no hugs, open options with no regrets? Is that a rude life strategy? I don't intend to be rude.

We emotionally hug. That can feel more closer and longer lasting.

I’ve hugged my T a number times, but I have to ask first. It’s not a frequently thing because it’s uncomfortable for me to ask.

I've hugged therapists twice, both times at termination. Which is fine by me. I'm not much of a touchy-feely person, and hugging more often (let alone at every session) would probably stress me out.

Ex t and I hugged at least twice every time we saw each other in or out of session. That’s the one thing I really miss - our good hugs. No hugs with current t. I wouldn’t make mind one once in a while. Doubt it will ever happen.

I can hug my T at the end of a session whenever I want one. Sometimes I do, but oftentimes I just say goodbye and walk out.

T and I (Same sex) hug at the end of most of our sessions. When we don't, it's because I don't want it. She knows that now, so she waits for me to initiate.

My T and I would hug after ever session.

I find A-frame hugs unsatisfying. I didn't know the way my longtime T hugged was intentional or a certain type of hug until I read this thread. I thought she just gave weird hugs.

What on earth is a frame hug?