Angry txt to T

Have you ever sent an angry txt?

Angry emails but not texts.

Angry voicemail but not texts

I quit in an angry email this past summer. Of course it didn't last long and I went back and we talked it all out.

Lots of times and it really annoys t. She talks about the impact it had on her when they arrive.
I think we’ll good because that is how I felt when you said such and such... I know it’s childish but sometimes it has helped to send them.
Now I tell her I am angry in the here and now rather than texting about the there And then.

I don’t text or email my t at all. I did send ex-t a few, nicely worded “I’m fed up with your bs” emails but they weren’t angry emails. I’ve learned to hold off on sending angry messages to others until the feelings have mostly subsided (exception being my family). I’d always say something I would later regret when sending angry messages so I’ve learned my lesson. I think.

Not pure rage emails, but I've already terminated 3 times with him and said things like I didn't think talking to him actually even helped me and that I just wanted to be left alone.

Then comes the I'm sorry please don't leave me email.

To my old T, yes both texts and emails. One session he said he had found it funny. The ****

I do that too, and T tells me how she feels about them. She has said she's felt rejected, hurt, wronged, frustrated, wanting to be more distant from me.

She says my anger is OK, but not how I express my anger. I feel ashamed because I don't know HOW I'm expressing anger inappropriately. When I send angry texts, I feel I'm expressing my anger in a polite yet clear way (I never swear at her or call her names, or deliberately word things to hurt her) but clearly it's not received that way, so I don't know how I'm expressing things wrong.

I'm working on expressing the anger "here and now" in session rather than after it. However I nearly always have a delayed reaction where I only realise some time later outside of session that something hurt.

I am very similar QM. I can express anger better when writing it. I am very careful not to specifically hurt ya feelings. I tell her I am quitting, never coming back and that I get abuse at home for free without having to pay for it. These have all had a huge impact on her and she has had feelings of being rejected, pushed away, shamed and being scolded by me.
Sometimes it helps to hear how she feels and says my anger squelches our in inappropriate ways. I agree with that because it happens in Work too.
I am learning to acknowledge those feelings of anger when they arise and not later on too.
It’s really hard because I have a delayed reaction too and don’t always know I am angry but t and I have become aware that one of my creative adjustments when I am angry is to shut down and not talk anymore which isn’t very helpful now. It’s what I had to do as a child because for my own safety it was best not to argue or show any anger.
I can slowly see how my way of expressing anger is not helpful to my growth anymore but I still don’t see it as inappropriate.
My t expresses her anger very clearly at the time and is very direct, we have discussed the impact her anger has on me and it also makes me shut down and then she feels shut out and rejected. So it’s a Work in progress.
I wish you luck with your t QM.

For me, being able to just access what I thought and felt (when any emotion was pinging in the moment) and articulate it reasonably well out loud reflected a big growth in me. It meant I had become more mindful in general and no longer dissociated anytime emotion flagged. I became more even in my moods and less reactive, which made me feel more empowered and like I was living in the moment, not flailing around in the past.

Oh lawd. yes.

Oh lordy no. I want anger in a controlled environment, where we are looking at each other and thinking about each other. Otherwise i fear i would be the baby thrown out with the bathwater, with no consideration of my feelings.

Sounds like a good place to be. I hope to get to a place like this very soon.
Being reactive has been very unhelpful to me so I am trying to be more aware of being activated.

I wrote angry letters to let the woman know how she failed. I don't usually text anyone except really close friends.

many times, and angry emails. she and i have fought a lot. she is a safe person tp fight with. which is a big relief. we always work it out every time.

I sent a angry, honest txt. And he just said see you tomorrow...

Silly me for expecting something along the lines of....

I care.....Hang in there.... your feelings matter to me.... ,

I hate him

I wrote exT a nasty email once. I’m surprised people are allowed to text their therapists?

To my first T, many angry emails and a few texts - I was very angry at him most of the time towards the end. To my second T, none - there was no reason, no anger at all. Two very different experiences.

No! The very thought of it makes me shudder. For one thing, I've either never had reason to be angry, or am just incapable of being or expressing anger with/at Ts. If I was angry, I'd be unlikely to send an angry text. That just seems like a rather inappropriate method of communication for something that is serious - whether with a T or with someone else.

I've written two angry emails to PrevT. There were a few months between them. To the second one I never got an reply. That made me even more angry. But mostly sad and dissappointed. It was more anger out of sadness/abandoment, dan just anger.

Oh, don't get me wrong. It is less that I live in that place and more like I vacation there. But it does sound like you are already there, and striving to be there more and less reactive sounds like a great goal.

I've not found much benefit by being reactive, it seems like doing so cements that connection between trigger and unwise words or actions. Being responsive to the moment, if necessary to relate to someone else as opposed to notice what's happening, like you describe yourself doing, that has been helpful to me.

I'm glad you can notice change rather than beating yourself up for not being perfect (if that's ever happened, not trying to tell you about yourself).

Yes loads, but not recently. More times in the early days. I tend to tell him face to face if he’s pissing me off. He is very safe to be angry with.