[Trace14]

Have you ever felt like just throwing the towel in on therapy? You feel it's not helping, tired of telling your story over and over to different people but no one understands? So what do you do? Just give up and resign to living a life of hell? Never having hope of a better life? It's exhausting and frustrating.

[Argonautomobile]

I've felt like throwing in the towel on life and every aspect of it. Cleaning my apartment seems to immediately improve my life.

What's the matter, Trace?

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

I've felt like throwing in the towel on life and every aspect of it. Cleaning my apartment seems to immediately improve my life.

What's the matter, Trace?

Just seems like it's a waste of time to try to feel better. No one understands CPTSD and it's complexity. I just don't know if I want to live the rest of my life this way. It's not a good quality of life and it seems to be getting worse with the isolation and paranoia. I know there are ups and downs in the healing process, but this down has been around since the end of Sept. 2017.

[Wren_]

Felt it many times but something in me keeps fighting and reaching out ... are the t's you've seen meant to be specialists in CTSPD?

[Argonautomobile]

Wow, that's rough, Trace. A long time to feel bad. What would it look like for a therapist to understand the complexity of CPTSD? How would they act? What would they do,?

[Elio]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Just seems like it's a waste of time to try to feel better. No one understands CPTSD and it's complexity. I just don't know if I want to live the rest of my life this way. It's not a good quality of life and it seems to be getting worse with the isolation and paranoia. I know there are ups and downs in the healing process, but this down has been around since the end of Sept. 2017.

My last down started in may of 2017. I seemed to hit a series of things that just would keep me down until just about a month ago. Then things in therapy started coming back together. During that long stretch, I tried many different things to jump start everything again. I'd have moments of goodish stuff but they would be short lived rarely over a day. I can't say if or when yours will come back. I don't know the relationship you have with your T or with others in your life. Feel free to share your story here, people are around, we will listen. How long have you been on your journey? Can you pin point some things that might be getting in your way? Have you had these types of periods in your journey before?

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Wren_

Felt it many times but something in me keeps fighting and reaching out ... are the t's you've seen meant to be specialists in CTSPD?

They specialize in PTSD and the therapy is through the Veterans Admin. You can only have sessions 6-8 weeks apart due to the low manpower. They agree I need to see someone more often, like weekly, but there's no one local that's on the VA payment program.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

Wow, that's rough, Trace. A long time to feel bad. What would it look like for a therapist to understand the complexity of CPTSD? How would they act? What would they do,?

They would understand it and try to work through more than one trauma.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Elio

My last down started in may of 2017. I seemed to hit a series of things that just would keep me down until just about a month ago. Then things in therapy started coming back together. During that long stretch, I tried many different things to jump start everything again. I'd have moments of goodish stuff but they would be short lived rarely over a day. I can't say if or when yours will come back. I don't know the relationship you have with your T or with others in your life. Feel free to share your story here, people are around, we will listen. How long have you been on your journey? Can you pin point some things that might be getting in your way? Have you had these types of periods in your journey before?

My journey started a little over 4 years ago after finding my dad after his suicide. That brought up a lot of past issues, which broke me as a person. The journey has never really had an upswing to it.

[confused_77]

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

I've felt like throwing in the towel on life and every aspect of it. Cleaning my apartment seems to immediately improve my life.

What's the matter, Trace?

thats such a brilliant answer... .... i too think that simply making you surroundings less messy makes a huge difference.

[missbella]

Therapy was a destructive disaster for me. However I found comfort in friendships, creative work, exercise, yoga, nature, retreats, travel, beautifying my surroundings, time and distance. Therapy isn’t the only road.

[Elio]

Originally Posted by Trace14

They specialize in PTSD and the therapy is through the Veterans Admin. You can only have sessions 6-8 weeks apart due to the low manpower. They agree I need to see someone more often, like weekly, but there's no one local that's on the VA payment program.

Originally Posted by Trace14

My journey started a little over 4 years ago after finding my dad after his suicide. That brought up a lot of past issues, which broke me as a person. The journey has never really had an upswing to it.

Trace, this is rough. You might try some support groups for some comfort. Not the same, I know. Other options might be low cost/sliding scale therapist, possibly some college program and pay out of pocket if possible. I've heard of some other options around the VA because of the low manpower, but I don't know how they work. The only other person that I know of that was in a bad way and was stuck with VA system ended up cashing out their retirement money to go into an intensive private program.

[here today]

My situation was very different. Therapy had become like an addiction for me. I had had 20 years with different therapists almost continuously, 55 years on and off on and off since I had an eating disorder as a teenager.

Withdrawal was tough but support groups have helped. In particular, for family-related complex stress have you looked into Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families? They started out as just Adult Children of Alcoholics so some groups are still pretty much focused that way, and didn't seem a good fit for me. But I recently found a group that is pretty inclusive of the children of dysfunctional families, too.

[Chummy2]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Have you ever felt like just throwing the towel in on therapy? You feel it's not helping, tired of telling your story over and over to different people but no one understands? So what do you do? Just give up and resign to living a life of hell? Never having hope of a better life? It's exhausting and frustrating.

Yes. I've been in this place for about 1-2 year. I don't feel therape can help me. Nothing can help. I don't know what to do anymore. I've also lost faith in therapists a long time ago. Having bad T's doesn't help you.
I know it's better to quit therapy, but I can't seem to do that either. Biggests mistake is to ever start seeing a T in the first place.

[alpacalicious]

I've had negative experiences with therapists. They didn't help me at all. But I keep trying, hoping that one day I'll find the one right for me. I think it's all about trying and seeing different T's. I keep thinking maybe the next one will be better, maybe they will help me. But sometimes I get discouraged. Then I think "there are a lot T's out there, so there's the possibility of finding better ones". I think good T's exist they are not rare. Sometimes we get lucky, sometimes not. But I understand that it's really tiring when you change a lot of T's and you always have to retell your story, it's not nice.
Maybe trying new therapists with different approaches could help? Maybe there are approaches that work better for you, while others don't work at all.

[kecanoe]

I found this article on why therapists fail to help people. It says, among other things, that some therapists have too narrow a view to be helpful.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...p-people-today

I also want to comment that for me, one session every 6-8 weeks would not be helpful. It doesn't seem like it would be helpful to anyone facing recovery from trauma. That pretty much stinks.

Originally Posted by Trace14

Have you ever felt like just throwing the towel in on therapy? You feel it's not helping, tired of telling your story over and over to different people but no one understands? So what do you do? Just give up and resign to living a life of hell? Never having hope of a better life? It's exhausting and frustrating.

I've never felt that I this T. Evenin those times when we seem to just be treading water, at something always comes from it, even is just the sense of someone being there. . Maybe look for a more accomplished T?

[Rose76]

I did give up on therapy. I went for years to counselors I respected. It felt kind of supportive for a good long while. However . . . . talking to therapists did not change anything. My problem with depression was not decreased by going for therapy. I never walked out of a therapist's office thinking, "Now I understand something I didn't understand before." or, "Now I have a better understanding of what I should do." So I stopped going.

When I find myself in Hell, no therapist holds the key to getting out. It usually means I have to change something that I'm doing. I hold the key to that. I know what my options are and why I've been doing what I've been doing. I know the pros and cons for the different options. I have to change my gameplan.

In my experience, depression comes from me having an approach to life that is not working for me. I can keep rationalizing why I can't do anything differently . . . or . . . I can do something differently. I found that talking on and on to a therapist is just a way of stalling. It was just me spinning my wheels.

Once, when I was desperate to talk something over with someone, I called one of those Psychic phone numbers you see on TV. (I don't believe in clairvoyance, either.) Well . . . I found it quite helpful, in the moment. Therapists, psychics, astrologers, IMHO, basically all do the same thing. They listen attentively. They read between the lines. They hand you back something that they inferred from what you told them. It's nothing you couldn't figure out for yourself, if it's true.

I think most people go to therapists because they are lonely. It's like hiring a friend for an hour. When the hour is over, you're back in your unhappy life and nothing is changed. Then you spend the week thinking about your next appointment and what you're going to talk about then. This can go on for years with nothing really changing.

Originally Posted by Trace14

They specialize in PTSD and the therapy is through the Veterans Admin. You can only have sessions 6-8 weeks apart due to the low manpower. They agree I need to see someone more often, like weekly, but there's no one local that's on the VA payment program.

Hi, sorry things aren't working out. Is your T experienced or is s/he newly graduated?

I can't remember the specifics, but I remember there was a bunch of stuff on the news about endless wait times and Congress changing the law to allow veterans to go outside the VA (and still have it paid for by the VA). Can you ask about that program?

Maybe then you could find someone who specializes in CPTSD rather than PTSD. I usually think diagnosis doesn't matter, but sometimes mental health (medical people too) will focus too much on 'evidence-based practices' but totally miss the boat.

If interested, this is what I mentioned:

FOR VETERANS
If you are already enrolled in VA health care, you may be able to receive care within your community, instead of waiting for a VA appointment or traveling to a VA facility.

If you answered “yes” to any of the below questions, you are ready for the next step.

Veterans - Am I eligible for Choice Program?

30 days
Have you been told by your local VA medical facility that they can’t schedule your appointment within 30 days of the clinically indicated date or if no such date can be determined, your preferred date?

40 miles
Is your current residence more than 40 miles from the closest VA medical facility with a full-time primary care physician?

Air, Boat, or Ferry
Do you need to travel by air, boat or ferry to the VA medical facility closest to your home?

Excessive Burden
Are you faced with an excessive burden due to traveling to the closest VA medical facility based on geographic challenges, environmental factors, or a medical condition?

https://www.va.gov/opa/choiceact/for_veterans.asp

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Rayne_

If interested, this is what I mentioned:



https://www.va.gov/opa/choiceact/for_veterans.asp

Thanks Rayne. This is the program I'm in now. I think they have done away with Choice Plus and replaced it with VA Direct Pay, there were a lot of issues with Choice Plus. Go figure...problems with a government program A lot of people think that these programs are there to let a vet use local, and providers of their choice. Not true. The providers have to apply for and be approved to participate in this Choice/Direct Pay program. Which most providers just don't have time for the government red tape, especially when they already have to deal with insurance companies. So the providers available, outside the VA , are very limited. There was one within a 20 mile radiance of me. With the social anxiety that was not an option for me. There's plenty of Mental Health providers around here, just none of them enrolled with the VA. Hope this makes sense. The VA still has a long way to go. Their medical side has gotten much better but the Mental Health side still sucketh. No wonder there are 22 veteran suicides a day. What's sad is they know there's an issue with the MH system but they do not fix it.

That is terrible!

I can totally see how sucky that program is. It would be worse in some areas too, I bet, depending on supply and demand. Hardly anyone even takes insurance where i live, so I bet no one takes the VA one here, screwing over the veterans.

Does the VA has a patient advocate? Or maybe your local Congressman can help. You deserve better.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Rayne_

That is terrible!

I can totally see how sucky that program is. It would be worse in some areas too, I bet, depending on supply and demand. Hardly anyone even takes insurance where i live, so I bet no one takes the VA one here, screwing over the veterans.

Does the VA has a patient advocate? Or maybe your local Congressman can help. You deserve better.

Yes, the veterans have always been treated that way. It's better than it was but still has a long way to go. The VA is just so short staffed that they can't keep up with all the veterans they serve. Americans really need to contact their representatives and have them support Veterans needs.
I will look into it more when I have the energy to argue with them. It's a very sad situation though.

[arabianhorselover]

Have any of you checked into EMDR? It seems to be the preferred therapy for PTSD, and can help very quickly.

[feileacan]

Originally Posted by arabianhorselover

Have any of you checked into EMDR? It seems to be the preferred therapy for PTSD, and can help very quickly.

According to my understanding, EMDR can be quick and successful when there is a concrete and isolated trauma, some particular traumatic event that stems out. I would be really surprised if it worked well with complex PTSD which by definitions is, well, complex and where it is really difficult to figure and recall what kind of incidents the trauma is really made up of. It could be that the whole childhood background was inherently traumatic, although it looked completely normal then because it was the only thing that the child knew.

I've had emotional backslashes that don't associate with really anything. No memory, no narrative, just a horrible intolerable feeling that comes from somewhere and then vanishes into somewhere, without me being able to make any sense of it. I doubt EMDR would be of much help here.