My life is not going well.
Me? I am dependent on supplements to make me feel a little better despite a turmoil of contained stress deep within
My father likes me the least - he talks about me in front of my face at times, My little brother dislikes me even though I provide him with lots of company

My emotional growth has been stunted in my teenhood because of AD's my parents have misused.

I am alone, yet I feel therapy is punishment rather than something which helps. Firstly it's because of my last therapist, and he DID make me question myself too much, made me too vulnerable and my parents are not doing anything about it, so I don't feel protected

I feel alone and sad at the moment, especially after a confrontation to my brother, though it stems from a need for attention.

My psychiatrist told me there's allot of work needed to be done. In my mind, I agree with it and proud of the fact that we always need to work in order to achieve what we want. But right now, it feels like punishment
Why? One way I can put it according to my last therapist - I am being disciplined for what my father should've been disciplined. It's one reason why I found therapy unfair

[SalingerEsme]

That is a very insightful post, VO. The last sentence resonates with me- it is unfair if your father failed you, and now you have to work so hard in therapy to be okay. I try to keep my T's saying in mind, that I think comes from Jon Kabat Zinn on coping with cancer pain- Wherever you are, that's where you are. To me it means accepting the exact present moment with no past and no future, and doing this until it becomes a habit of mind not to rush yourself or analyze if the prices add up to hurting.

[mostlylurking]

VO, do you mean that your last therapist said therapy is akin to you being disciplined?

Originally Posted by mostlylurking

VO, do you mean that your last therapist said therapy is akin to you being disciplined?

No, that was my experience from it

Originally Posted by SalingerEsme

That is a very insightful post, VO. The last sentence resonates with me- it is unfair if your father failed you, and now you have to work so hard in therapy to be okay. I try to keep my T's saying in mind, that I think comes from Jon Kabat Zinn on coping with cancer pain- Wherever you are, that's where you are. To me it means accepting the exact present moment with no past and no future, and doing this until it becomes a habit of mind not to rush yourself or analyze if the prices add up to hurting.

I prefer a present with a sight for the future, because there is so much I want to do

[SalingerEsme]

Love the spirit behind that

if you dont like it, why do you go? are you still a teenager and someone makes you?

Originally Posted by Starry_Night

if you dont like it, why do you go? are you still a teenager and someone makes you?

You didn't get it - I don't go

Originally Posted by SalingerEsme

Love the spirit behind that

I just wish I could really get on with that

[BudFox]

As someone wrote... therapy = covert sadism.

[here today]

Yes, your last T was punishing, it sounded like to me, from what you have written in the past.

I hate to ask, since it sounds like you don't:

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

. . .
I feel alone and sad at the moment. . .

but is there anyone in your life at the moment whom you feel you can trust? If not, a different therapist might be able to help you sort through some things. Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate at the moment.

I ended up getting hurt a lot in therapy, with no resolution of that hurt, but there are some others who post in the forum and they are very specific about what they want and what they don't and have had some success with that approach. Don't know if that's an option for you, though.

[stopdog]

I found therapy appointments usually seemed like a punishment. For my part - the triumph was enduring them without submitting.

[missbella]

My parents dropped me off at the therapist in the spirit of "fix this kid" as opposed to looking at all at their parenting. I lived in a chaotic situation and the psychologist was only another leg-stool in the drama.

My therapy was --meh, but also not particularly important compared to everything else in my life.

So at 66, here's the advice I wish I could have given my younger self, assuming time travel is possible.

. My parents' drama ultimately is not important. Seek the best teachers, soak every bit of education you can, work and study hard, and prepare your mind and body for many decades of life once the drama is over.
. Seek out wise adults (and maybe kids) who can be advice givers and sounding boards for you. But then remember, you hold your own truth.
. Your dependency years will end before you know it. Then you'll need the balancing act between listening to other's opinions and deciding what applies to you.
. Find joy, fun and laughter, and cherish those times.
. Enjoy your youthful appearance and good health. Don't let self-criticism prevent you for enjoying this and taking care of yourself. Ask anyone 60+ if they'd trade those with you!
. Contrary to appearances, growing up includes misery, awkwardness, doubts and isolation for everyone. I doubt they're many, if any golden lives.
. It does get better. You learn what hairstyles and clothes work. You discover your talents and learn to negotiate the world with more ease.