Are therapists ever "wrong"?

I don't understand why you're so hellbent on trying to make others doubt their therapists and their therapy

This is wonderful. I do question whether a normal person would have had the issue that I did or would have just blown it off!

I've talked to two dozen of 'em, and read/listened to many more. The profession clearly attracts a good number of narcs and insecure types, and i think it's helpful to acknowledge patterns and tendencies in the biz, rather than see each therapist as a special little snowflake.

Therapists should be held to a higher standard than other people when it comes to admitting mistakes, etc. They are paid to be exemplars of healthy relating, so they should not be given a gold star when they fess up to doing something stupid. It's their job. And when they fail at this, leaving some vulnerable person in distress, they should be crucified.

I was heavily manipulated by one, and then others that followed telegraphed similar tendencies. But who cares? I now find it futile and pointless, all my prior fretting about therapists acknowledging responsibility or not. They're just paid actors. Even if one confesses the most heinous transgression, sobs at your feet, who the hell cares. Many of them would just as quickly bounce you to the next therapist, if they thought it appropriate. They probably have little emotional stake in the relationship, because the client is not real to them, and is only one of many widgets that files through the machinery of therapy. That's my take.

I just don't think this is true. I'm sorry you felt manipulated by a therapist and that colored your opinion of them. But do you think that all truck drivers are the same? Or all teachers? Why would all therapists have the same personalities?

I've had several acquaintances and friends who are therapists. These aren't therapists that I have seen for therapy and then became friends. I met them through other community activities and they became friends, which means I would never see them for therapy. Some of them are perfectly nice people and some of them are kind of jerks.

I truly believe that some therapists care very much about their clients. They likely don't think about the clients as often as the clients think about them, but they still care. I think that there has to be a bit of a distance in that caring, particularly when they are dealing with a lot of trauma. The therapist has to be the strong one in that dynamic. They can't get overwhelmed with the trauma too, or they won't do anyone any good.

They are also human and sometimes they screw up. The good ones will acknowledge this to themselves and to the client. The bad ones won't. It's a good way to screen out the good and the bad, honestly.

I I try my best not to worry about "normal" people because I know I'll never be one. Lol. It doesn't always work.

Yes, mine will apologise and very occasionally admit when he's fu&*%d up - like the time he let me leave a session in a dissociative state.

I just don't think this is true. I'm sorry you felt manipulated by a therapist and that colored your opinion of them. But do you think that all truck drivers are the same? Or all teachers? Why would all therapists have the same personalities?

i don't know. maybe it is your perception BudFox, bc I have seen 5 T's over my life, and I have never experienced such narcissism or refusal to acknowledge fault. I can't possibly believe that I have been so lucky to find these "rare" T's..

. . .
The relationship was contrived.
The big rupture that occurred was contrived.
The therapist handled it badly and took no responsibility.
When I finally did pry apology from her, it too was contrived.
And it resolved nothing.
Both the rupture and the repair were simulations, cheap knock-offs.

This sounds to me pretty much like the facts of what happened to Budfox. Maybe the therapist would "frame" it differently, put different language on it, focus on different aspects.

But somehow that isn't the same to me as a matter of "perception". And that's not saying that all therapy-client experiences are like that, either.

But I believe Budfox. His perspective sounds very plausible to me. It also doesn't sound like anybody in the therapy world did -- or has -- taken his perspectively seriously, "with empathy", stepping into his shoes.

Glad you keep putting it out there, Budfox! Maybe the most you can do. Your story and your experiences need to be taken seriously, in my view.

Maybe what one perceives does depend somewhat on one's point of view, where one "stands", or the position one has been placed in. The point of view, and the person, are still valid, in my view. Even when I disagree.

A person's "perceptions" should never be a topic of discussion unless the person has asked for that sort of feedback. Seems like an obvious boundary to me.
. . .

BTW, when a therapist makes a mistake, the conventional framing is that they should acknowledge it, maybe apologize. And this will "heal" the client. Frankly, this is crazy dysfunctional to me, because the client's well-being now hinges on the actions of the god-like therapist, who could decide on a whim that instead of an apology they will just "refer out". Or they could decide to attack the client for exposing the therapist's weakness.
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Most or all of the 20+ therapists I've had direct contact with made it clear one way or another (words, body language, posture, interpretations) that their default position was -- therapist right, client wrong.

My perception... that is rich. Couldn't I also question the validity of your perceptions?

Actually i think at the time my perceptions were totally clouded, being enmeshed in therapy and needing to see them as infallible saviors. Now things are much clearer a few years on, since I am no longer in the game.

Also, all of this becomes much more apparent when you talk to therapists specifically about problems caused by therapy. Then they are forced to reveal their attitudes about all the hierarchical BS and whether they can tolerate being wrong about something meaningful.

This sounds to me pretty much like the facts of what happened to Budfox. Maybe the therapist would "frame" it differently, put different language on it, focus on different aspects.

But somehow that isn't the same to me as a matter of "perception". And that's not saying that all therapy-client experiences are like that, either.

But I believe Budfox. His perspective sounds very plausible to me. It also doesn't sound like anybody in the therapy world did -- or has -- taken his perspectively seriously, "with empathy", stepping into his shoes.

Glad you keep putting it out there, Budfox! Maybe the most you can do. Your story and your experiences need to be taken seriously, in my view.

Maybe what one perceives does depend somewhat on one's point of view, where one "stands", or the position one has been placed in. The point of view, and the person, are still valid, in my view. Even when I disagree.

If I weren't secure in my relationshiop with my T, I would really question any tiny thing that happened in therapy (more than i already do) because of the generalization.