[Bipolarchic14]

My therapist keeps traumatizing me and I’m thinking about calling it quits. It is a little bit difficult because I have been with her for five years. It is bad enough that I don’t think I could possibly trust another therapist after dealing with her. It’s difficult though because I’m going through another depressive episode. I am to a point though that I show up late leave early and I am barely talking to her in session. Today just seem to put the nail in the coffin. I am not even sure I am going to say goodbye I think I may just not go back. In this case I don’t think talking to her about it changes anything. Her apologizing would not change anything and it would be nothing to me so I don’t think I have anything to benefit by going back there.

[maybeblue]

I'm sorry.

I felt like my first therapist screwed me up kind of badly. But I've had some decent therapists since then. I wish I had left her sooner though.

I am wondering though if this feeling you have of your therapist traumatizing you is recent, or has it been happening on and off for 5 years? The reason I ask is that you mention that you seem to be going through another depressive episode. I know sometimes when I have those, I'm not thinking clearly, and might not always interpret what the therapist is saying very well. But I also know that a bad interaction, or pattern of interactions with a therapist can actually trigger an episode.

If you don't go back to therapy, do you have other people you can talk to?

[bobcat21]

I kinda feel you I'm thinking of calling it quits. I've been with my pdoc for 3 years but lately we just haven't been clicking. I get yelled out over my medications I get conterdicated and sometimes I feel she's not even listening. Last year she was very caring but this year it's like she changed and she's a total person. I just don't know what to do.. I need her but the same time everytime I think about her I get stressed out. I totally understand it's definitely a hard decision and I'm struggling right now.

[Bipolarchic14]

What she said could not be misinterpreted. Funny thing is I don’t think she was trying to insult me. I think she’s just that clueless. Sometimes when I am depressed I don’t feel like hanging out with friends and family so if I want to go out to a restaurant movie and I don’t feel like socializing I’ll do so by myself. I have talked to her about this a lot lately, including the possibility of traveling by myself. Today she mentioned not liking a restaurant Because she walked in there for a gift card and they thought she was going to be dining in by herself. She said do I look like that type of person. I just sat there and stared at her. I did not even know what to say .... and yes this has been going on for years it’s not just something new. I am sorry you’re going through something similar bobcat. Change is difficult.

[maybeblue]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

What she said could not be misinterpreted. Funny thing is I don’t think she was trying to insult me. I think she’s just that clueless. Sometimes when I am depressed I don’t feel like hanging out with friends and family so if I want to go out to a restaurant movie and I don’t feel like socializing I’ll do so by myself. I have talked to her about this a lot lately, including the possibility of traveling by myself. Today she mentioned not liking a restaurant Because she walked in there for a gift card and they thought she was going to be dining in by herself. She said do I look like that type of person. I just sat there and stared at her. I did not even know what to say .... and yes this has been going on for years it’s not just something new. I am sorry you’re going through something similar bobcat. Change is difficult.

OK...yeah that's pretty clueless, that she would say that after you talked to her about being alone, and it actually says a lot about her own insecurities...that she would think that there was something "wrong" with eating in a restaurant by herself. I do it all the time, and honestly I love it. I get to pick wherever I want to eat, without consulting anyone else. I don't have to make boring small talk. I can play on my phone without being rude. Personally I think that you are likely a lot more self-confident than she is...at least in that area.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by maybeblue

OK...yeah that's pretty clueless, that she would say that after you talked to her about being alone, and it actually says a lot about her own insecurities...that she would think that there was something "wrong" with eating in a restaurant by herself. I do it all the time, and honestly I love it. I get to pick wherever I want to eat, without consulting anyone else. I don't have to make boring small talk. I can play on my phone without being rude. Personally I think that you are likely a lot more self-confident than she is...at least in that area.

Good grief. Does she have a time machine set to 1957?

[SalingerEsme]

[QUOTE=Bipolarchic14;6003614 I have talked to her about this a lot lately, including the possibility of traveling by myself. Today she mentioned not liking a restaurant Because she walked in there for a gift card and they thought she wa(s dining by herself).[/QUOTE]

Whoa- that is beyond rude. I hope she had some irony or some playfulness or some other point? I am so sorry. That is so passive aggressive .

[Bipolarchic14]

Nope she was actually laughing and offended at the idea that they thought she was going to be eating alone. I really did not say much to her after that I just waited until like five or 10 minutes before my time was ending and was like I’m just gonna leave early. Last time I went to termination with her when I was going to end therapy she was really obnoxious Cold and distant and she would cut me off when I had questions. I don’t really feel like going through all that again.

[LonesomeTonight]

Wow, that comment of hers sounds really judgmental, both of you and of anyone who eats (or goes wherever) alone! And I've certainly gone to movies by myself and [gasp] earlier this week went to a rock concert by myself! (And I'm married with a kid.) It's called being independent... I think you need to find a different T who respects who you are and that doesn't seem to expect you to make all the same choices she would...

[mostlylurking]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

Nope she was actually laughing and offended at the idea that they thought she was going to be eating alone. I really did not say much to her after that I just waited until like five or 10 minutes before my time was ending and was like I’m just gonna leave early. Last time I went to termination with her when I was going to end therapy she was really obnoxious Cold and distant and she would cut me off when I had questions. I don’t really feel like going through all that again.

You don't have to actually go to a termination session if you don't want to. I know it's been a long relationship, but you could simply write a letter if you preferred.

I'm wondering if you saw another T once or twice -- I realize it might have to be out of pocket at first if you are seeing your usual T on your insurance -- but I'm wondering if you might see what therapy would be like with someone more kind and considerate than it sounds like your T is.

[maybeblue]

Originally Posted by mostlylurking

You don't have to actually go to a termination session if you don't want to. I know it's been a long relationship, but you could simply write a letter if you preferred.

I fired a therapist once by phone. I felt very empowered doing it too...it was a free five minute discussion, with no negotiation. I like the idea of a letter too. You don't have to allow yourself to be further victimized.