[LonesomeTonight]

Welcome to the couch, old and new! A place to hang out - sometimes you get immediate feedback, sometimes you don't.

Shouting, "Cool Whip" tends to bring others out from between the cushions if you're feeling lonely.

This is a chatty thread. All are welcome. We're kind of psychologically oriented, sometimes. We try to be supportive. At times we discuss what that means.

It’s a place to plop down on the couch when you come home from work or wherever, or wake up in the middle of the night, or check in at lunch, rant a bit or not, and be among friends.

We advise you not to drink or drug and text your therapist ("T") - we speak from experience...

Sometimes the thread moves fast and you might get overlooked; sometimes it moves slowly and all you hear are crickets. Sometimes you get hugged or thanked pages later. So if it's a bigger question, you might want to start a new thread.

Grab a cushion, a spot on the floor, or an armchair in the corner (or with us) and make yourselves comfy!

Continued from Couch 161

Named because in Major League Baseball, teams play 162 games in the regular season (also, Wikipedia's entry for 162 is seriously lacking!)

[atisketatasket]

Too bad we didn’t hit 162 around March 29.

Oh, well—pitchers and catchers report in two weeks!

[LonesomeTonight]

Should have just titled that "Play ball," but oh well...

Woo new couch!

[NP_Complete]

I feel like such a loser right now. At my work, we have trainers in from Boston to train us in a new system for two days. Tonight, the company took us out to drinks and dinner. After a few drinks and some socializing, I, for some reason, told this one guy all about my troubles of last year. I don't know why I would do such a thing. I now have to sit in a room with this guy all day tomorrow, knowing that he knows. WTF is wrong with me? I wish I could crawl in a hole and die right now.

[atisketatasket]

NP—I think this is the second time you’ve done this recently? Maybe it’s a sign you need more support, from your therapist or in some other way? Another way to get things out?

It’s a natural thing to do when we’re hurting. Don’t beat up on yourself.

[NP_Complete]

I don't know how to get more support when I feel so ashamed about the things that happened. When I talk to people, I feel vulnerable and I can't stand that feeling. Obviously, talking to strangers seems like an option to me at the time, but I always end up feeling like crap after I do. I don't know what to do anymore.

NP,

It's not your fault. I know that's really hard to believe. You've nothing to be ashamed of. Your pain is not something shameful.

You sound like you need more support than what your T is currently giving. It's not wrong to need more than 1 pair of listening ears. We need community. It's not shameful to need it despite what culture and life might have taught us.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

((NP))
You’re grappling with so much. It’s probably pretty normal at this point to feel a bit unmoored and not quite know where the edges are, including when you’re sharing your story. I hope you can be patient and kind with yourself.

I also hope you’re able to find ways to get some additional support.

Hang in there tomorrow.

[Cornucopia]

Reality is hitting me hard. I do have a mental illness.
I always claimed they just didn’t understand my world. I have been watching documentaries about bipolar, and it hit me- like a freaking train.
I started watching them after finding some old writings from the days before and during my full blown mania. I read it, and then I was like- how could you deny this for so long?? It hit me hard.
Watching the documentaries made me go all warm and cold inside again, I almost couldn’t watch anymore. Felt burnt and hit. Again.
And still I keep watching, it’s like I am trying to really hit myself with reality.
(Maybe I am afraid I will go back to thinking it’s them, not me…)

I miss my former T. He knew I didn’t want a label, he never gave me one. He said he wanted me to come back, so he didn’t want to square me in.
I have been manic in sessions, never depressed. Quit therapy. Six months later I was hospitalized by force. Still denying anything was wrong with me.

Getting a new T in about five weeks.

What I am? I am everything at the moment. Most of all embarassed, frustrated, and extremelly restless- in an annoying way.

*sigh*

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

I don't know how to get more support when I feel so ashamed about the things that happened. When I talk to people, I feel vulnerable and I can't stand that feeling. Obviously, talking to strangers seems like an option to me at the time, but I always end up feeling like crap after I do. I don't know what to do anymore.

What about other things besides talking? I don’t know if you’re on medication or want to be, but that can help with such heavy emotions. A while back your therapist suggested some kind of intensive program. Something like that, but outpatient so you can still work?

Failing that, some kind of physical or mental expression—hitting a punching bag, say—that might provide a different kind of relief?

Things will get better, and I think you have already been getting better in the time you’ve been posting here, but it does take time, and there’s no need to white-knuckle it every step of the way (says the white-knuckling pro).

Hi my D flies out tomorrow to go to uni 2000 kms away. I am seeing her off at the airport at 5 am and i cant seem to get to sleep.i have taken my meds but i am alittle anxious and cant settle. Anyway thanks for listening to my drivel. I need to get up at 4 am. I am sleepy but just as i doze off i am jerked awake

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

I feel like such a loser right now. At my work, we have trainers in from Boston to train us in a new system for two days. Tonight, the company took us out to drinks and dinner. After a few drinks and some socializing, I, for some reason, told this one guy all about my troubles of last year. I don't know why I would do such a thing. I now have to sit in a room with this guy all day tomorrow, knowing that he knows. WTF is wrong with me? I wish I could crawl in a hole and die right now.

You are not a loser. We are all humans and we need each other. It's natural to want support and talking to a stranger is sometimes easier. I'm telling myself this, of course, after feeling stupid myself last week for telling everyone about h being in the hospital with sepsis (the guy who came out to change my battery, the furnace repair guy, etc) But we're not stupid and we're not losers. Somewhere along the line I think all of our human race has forgotten that we are all one, we are all in this together, and we need to rely on each other.

[88Butterfly88]

everyone.

Here's our new couch:

[SummerTime12]

Is anyone around and willing to listen and offer some advice about a situation I’m in? Debating contacting my T or not

Morning (or night!) couchies! Off to work with me, I'll catch y'all at lunchtime! Hugs/headnods as appropriate.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88

everyone.

Here's our new couch:

Kind of small for all of us...dibs on sitting in una's lap!

[DP_2017]

Originally Posted by SummerTime12

Is anyone around and willing to listen and offer some advice about a situation I’m in? Debating contacting my T or not

You can DM me if you want

[88Butterfly88]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Kind of small for all of us...dibs on sitting in una's lap!

True, we'd need multiple.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88

True, we'd need multiple.

I love that chair-and-a-half size.

[stopdog]

I never understood the odd chair size - too big for one person but not big enough for anything else. I mean, maybe the cat could go there -but I don't like the unnecessary and unaccountable space.

So I never told h I saw t 4 weeks ago. I haven't told him yet that I'm going today after work. T calls that 'feminine wiles' but it feels like lying to me. I'm going to tell him about going today. I mean I know I'm not going to be able to once we start paying the hospital bills, so I want to go one more time before those bills start rolling in. We'll be paying hopefully a maximum of $5400.00 assuming everything is covered. I'll appeal whatever I have to of course. But until it's paid off, I won't be seeing t. Will work w hospital on a payment plan or something. Wish me luck telling h I'm going today...

[LostOnTheTrail]

Good luck, Art.

I would hope that H would see it as a positive that you are going to see T, to get support with the situation. It's always easier to lean on someone who is outside the immediate circle of impact.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I never understood the odd chair size - too big for one person but not big enough for anything else. I mean, maybe the cat could go there -but I don't like the unnecessary and unaccountable space.

But it makes space for the emotions.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

But it makes space for the emotions.

The ****ing emotions can find their own space in the basement if they cannot be eradicated altogether. They are not invading my personal space.