How common is long term therapy?

There's an end to therapy?

I've been going to therapy since I was 16. Now 33. I've had I think 11 ts. Took some time off here and there, but I do much better with managing the bipolar when I'm in therapy. Now though me and my t just have a weekly 15 min check in call. If there's something I need to talk about we talk about it, if not we just kinda bull **** for a while, and she talks about what she's been doing lol. Last time we just talked about politics. She doesn't charge me for the check in calls, but if we had an actual session it would be $50 so I'm glad I'm not being charged. We've worked together almost 3 years and I've already given her $100s. I'm debating about going back to my other t for a while though to learn the rest of DBT but he tried to dx me with BPD, which I don't have, so idk.

I think this forum is a bit biased. Who would go online to talk about their therapy and relationship with their therapist? Somebody who has some 'minor' issue, maybe a bit of mood issues or something, or somebody with attachment issues and similar things? If the therapeutic relationship gets important that's when people will go more online to talk about it. So forums like this will be biased towards these kinds of people, and I think these issues usually take longer to be resolved, and that's why you see more people in therapy for a long time here.

When I initially started seeing T she made comments about If I were seeing you in 10 years your husband will be calling me wondering what the heck I am doing with you and why aren't you better?". This was in the first few month of seeing her when I had only told her about a couple of issues that were relatively mild. I had no intentions of going beyond that. I have now been seeing her for over 10 years. Eventually I will stop...and no my husband has never questioned me still seeing her. He sees that we still have issues we are working on and is supportive of me going as long as needed

My T has said it takes as long as I need it to. She has seen several people a long time and there are a few she has seen longer than me. She says as long as she feels I am making progress she will continue working with me.

In my country "thérapie brève" (brief therapy) is quite popular these days. This kind of therapy is not supposed to last more than two to three months and I think it's quite good because you have to establish goals from the get go and you are encouraged to be independent. There is no "well we'll see how long it takes" because sometimes I think that by being vague about the duration, some clients just end up staying in therapy just because they're attached and their therapist is as well (emotionally and financially). As for how common long term therapy is: thankfully psychoanalysis is slowly disappearing (although it is still quite powerful in countries such as France) and therefore clients who are told they NEED to spend 15 years rehashing their childhood are a rarity. I asked a couple of therapists I saw and they told me that usually the majority of their clients stay in therapy no longer than 8 to 10 months. It's rare when people stay in therapy for years. And of course some clients just show up for two sessions and then quit so this may skew the numbers.

I'm in long-term therapy. It is keeping me out of the hospital. Combined with meds, I can function at a very high level (university professor with a family). I have discussed stopping with this t and with previous t's, and with H, and no one says I should stop.

When thinking about short-term vs long-term, as others mentioned, one needs to assess what brought someone to therapy in the first case. I feel stigma with being in long-term therapy. But serious mental illness cannot be cured with several months therapy but it can be managed with long-term therapy.

Do I like that I have serious mental illness?? Hell no. Am I even comfortable with the term "mental illness" - NO way. But I am glad for the support.

When I read some posts about brief therapy only being needed and T's some how keeping clients for financial gain, I roll my eyes and think. Some long term therapy would benefit that poster lol.

Thank you for this!!! I sometimes feel
Like even in this forum there is a shaming or judging of long term therapy. It has kept me out of the hospital since my early twenties. I have had a successful career as a commercial artist. I don’t think it is right to criticize someone ‘s need for lifelong care in one form or another.

Yes, you have to establish goals and be independent and there's little time for building trust or connection with the therapist. Why not, in that case, just buy some self-help books?

ETA: I don't mean to be dismissive of all short-term therapy, but it does seem more like guided self-help to me. For healing past traumas or dealing with attachment issues or longer-term mental health issues, I think that most of us need time to establish trust and connection with our T, and two to three months doesn't begin to give us enough time.

I don't know how common long term therapy is. As previous posters have pointed out, it really depends on why you're going to therapy in the first place.

I think my T originally thought I was going to be short term. Then we stumbled upon my issues. I've been in therapy for 2.5 years now with the same T and I don't think that will be changing any time soon. I spent way too long feeling way too bad. I'm going to do whatever I need to feel better and that will probably include long-term therapy.

Current T has someone she’s seen for 18 years.

I’m not sure how long I’ll continue in therapy but I don’t see why someone can’t continue forever if they so please.

Most of my therapists have been of no value so I bailed. My last therapist knew what she was doing but was sadistic so I quit after a few months. I lost trust in her. I've never had a PDOC who did psychotherapy. The psychologist in the hospital in the 90's didn't even make an attempt to help me during 4 long hospitalizations. And I've had tons of diagnoses which doesn't help. But now I have a better understanding of what's wrong after googling a few symptoms.

Once I told my T I'm disappointed in myself for still being in therapy. She said she wasn't a "10 sessions and you're out" therapist. That she chose clinical psychology for a reason, and her work with personality disorders, chronic conditions for a reason.

There's been times friends have scared me with "since you're in public health, they'll discharge you after 2 years". I know some outpatient hospital clinics in my country only offer time limited therapy so I would ask T if there's a limit on sessions, if she has to request for more sessions for me,if she's facing pressure to discharge me. T said the nature of my issues require long term therapy and that there's no max as long as I'm progressing and healing. That was a relief.

When I started therapy I had no expectations because I had no idea what should happen in therapy and how should it happen. The only thing I knew for sure (intuitively) was that I should stay away from therapists who want to spell out concrete goals and work towards those goals because I knew that any of the goal I could spell out at that moment would be inaccurate and irrelevant. But what my true goals could be I had no idea and thus I needed someone who understood this and who was willing to search for those goals over time.

We hit a 5 year mark with my T soon and I expect to see him until he retires in 4-5 years. Whether I'm done by then or need to continue with someone else I currently don't know.

I never said I was against long term therapy. I was specifically talking about psychoanalysis. And I realize that people with trauma need longer therapy than people who simply want to get over a phobia for instance. I do think though that some people (included me at the time) would benefit more from short term therapy rather than therapy with no definite end because therapy can get self-centered and complacent. It certainly was the case for me with my ex therapist. I don't have any trauma so obviously I wasn't talking about that. As for self-help books they're full of platitudes from what I have seen which is not that different from therapy in my experience. The difference is you get to interact with someone and that aspect alone makes it far more helpful than self-help books imo. But I also wouldn't use therapy now the way some people report doing on this forum which may explain our different opinions.

I don't think that being in long term therapy is the same thing as being dependent on a therapist. In my experience in this 9th year of my second round of long term therapy (the last was 5 years and 15 years earlier), there are benefits that I never thought would show up and to a large extent, changes that weren't specifically on my radar much less my goals for therapy. Therapy goals don't define progress and therapy can be preventive as well as part of ongoing self care. My work is stressful and vicarious trauma is a real thing. Insurance companies like mine allow an unlimited number of sessions because they realize that therapy can reduce other medical costs and prevent physical problems. I'm not a great fan of HMO's and more broadly the U.S. Health care system, but like many other messed up institutions, sometimes they work right for some circumstances and for some people.

I began therapy because of serious clinical depression about 17 years ago. At the time, I didn't realize (or my therapist) how long I would need to stay in therapy. Developing trust and opening up were very hard for me. It took literally years to learn to trust my therapist enough to share certain things.
As I did so, my therapist noticed more and more traumatic experiences I've been through, and how they have had a negative effect on almost every part of my adult life. So we work on those things.

For me, therapy has never been a smooth and easy ride. People who think therapy is just about being validated and soothed with "oh, you poor thing" mentality are so wrong. My therapist and I have always worked hard on my issues. No lollygagging around.

I feel shame sometimes for being in therapy so long, but I need it. I have GAD, C-PTSD, and DID. I am also the breadwinner of the family. My husband has been disabled for the past 10 years with numerous, potentially fatal health problems, as well as bipolar disorder that he can't be medicated for. Also, my husband's mom died recently, and she was almost the only person who was consistently in our lives that we were very close to. His dad is elderly and will increasingly need help as time goes on. In addition, my husband and I are near retirement age now, and we have no kids or grandkids to spend time with or to help us out when we need it. Social support is very, very slim as well.

I'm sorry if I sound like a whiner. That wasn't my intention. I think I am trying to justify (maybe even to myself) why I've been in therapy so long. I sometimes feel like I must be a very strange person or incredibly weak for needing therapy this long. I mentally kick myself often for not "being strong enough not to need it." But I don't think I could stay functional and keep working full-time with all of the stress and issues in my life without therapy. As I work through my childhood traumas from the past, the present keeps dropping more doggy-do piles in my way.

My t plans to retire in the next year or two, and I shudder to think about starting over with somebody else after being with my t for 17 years. Not only will it be extremely hard to terminate with her, but I don't know if I can start all over with somebody else. It takes forever for me to trust.

I don't plan on leaving T at all. I love the attachment I have with her. The money I pay is peanuts to her.
I feel warmth from the relationship. I enjoy the discussions we have. I just enjoy the therapy. My mind works that way. Always wanting to think.
T is the kindness person I've ever met. That alone still blows my mind so many yrs later.

When I first started therapy at age 40, I thought I would likely do it for many years, if not in the rest of my life. I imagined it would be highly stimulating/exciting, suitable activity for me, with my interest in psychology, the brain, and how the mind works. Experience has proven otherwise: ~2 years of it (with 2 Ts) was perfectly enough and I've figured I'm actually not a good therapy client at all, the whole structure and premise is not really compatible with my personality. But I still do like psychology and self-analysis, why I am on this board, it gives me more than therapy itself.