Therapists reflections

Mar 31, 2018, 12:16 AM

I notice my t does this a lot. She will reflect on our last session and share her feelings about something. Usually she pushed me too hard and had explored during the week the reason behind that. I find it helpful at times, it can be affirming to hear that she felt she was pushing and it’s not just me feeling that pushing.
Does your therapist share these reflections? Are they helpful?

malika138 · Mar 31, 2018, 09:07 AM

I feel like my t is thinking/analyzing more than she is talking. I wish I got feedback from her. In January I told her that I don't have depression any more and she said, ok sure, in a way that seemed like she didn't believe me. In Feb I said that I haven't been depressed in years because I haven't been suicidal in years. She said not everyone with depression is suicidal. Then last week she actually said, You are depressed. I feel like the previous discussions had been abstract but this last week she actually gave some feedback. Then she offered to & did talk to my pdoc to change my meds.

What do people say to get their t to say what they are actually thinking?

stopdog · Mar 31, 2018, 09:48 AM

The woman never remembered the week before.
It was hard to get her to shut up (although I finally managed) -but not because she was reflecting on anything relevant as far as I could tell.

lucozader · Mar 31, 2018, 10:04 AM

T1 specifically said he was going to reflect on things a couple of times, but as far as I could tell he never actually did. The next week he would seem to have completely forgotten about all of it. I found that extremely upsetting.

Current T certainly seems to remember and reflect on and learn from what happens in our sessions... so I feel like I actually matter. That's nice.

SummerTime12 · Mar 31, 2018, 01:11 PM

My t does this. He’ll say something like “when I was writing up my session notes after last time I had a thought..” and then he’ll tell me what his thought is. I like that he does that

Argonautomobile · Mar 31, 2018, 01:18 PM

Very rarely. It's been helpful when he has, though. I wish he'd do it more.

zoiecat · Mar 31, 2018, 04:46 PM

My T reflects on past sessions often. He brings up things I said from months prior in relation to what is currently happening.

I like that he does this because I cannot seem to tie the ends together on my own. It also shows me that he really listens and pays attention to what I say.

Thalassophile · Mar 31, 2018, 05:54 PM

I'm unsure if my T reflects on our sessions. He never brings anything up from past sessions unless I do. He does often forget minor details but remembers some of the bigger stuff.
I hope he reflects on our sessions as reflection by client and therapist is an important part of successful therapy IMO

Apr 01, 2018, 01:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zoiecat

My T reflects on past sessions often. He brings up things I said from months prior in relation to what is currently happening.

I like that he does this because I cannot seem to tie the ends together on my own. It also shows me that he really listens and pays attention to what I say.

Yes, this is exactly what I like about it because it does show she listens and at least sometimes tries to understand our interactions.
I think my t thinks it’s her job to push me to change and often she comes back the next week and says she felt too hard and had reflected in why that was. She also asks me to look at what are my own dynamics in allowing her to push me so much which is really helpful too because I often feel people step over my boundaries and wonder afterwards why I allowed it!

Lilana · Apr 01, 2018, 03:06 AM

I assume my T does. He never specifically said so though, which is something I'm glad about. I'm not sure I wanted to know why specifically he acts the way he does - it would make me want to "protect him" from the reasons he had to reflect in the first place, if that makes sense?

Mona, this is only my opinion and please feel free to ignore it, as you haven't asked for it... If your T keeps pushing too hard even though she's aware of it, maybe she's not really reflecting as much as she should? After all you're supposed to learn from your mistakes and actually change something...

Apr 01, 2018, 07:34 AM

I do that to my therapist but she rarely does that for me. I journal afterward and sometimes something just strikes me that I hadn't thought of in the moment so I bring it back to her and we discuss whatever insight I had....

Apr 01, 2018, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lilana

I assume my T does. He never specifically said so though, which is something I'm glad about. I'm not sure I wanted to know why specifically he acts the way he does - it would make me want to "protect him" from the reasons he had to reflect in the first place, if that makes sense?

Mona, this is only my opinion and please feel free to ignore it, as you haven't asked for it... If your T keeps pushing too hard even though she's aware of it, maybe she's not really reflecting as much as she should? After all you're supposed to learn from your mistakes and actually change something...

Thank you for your opinion, I appreciate it. I really think my t does reflect on it but is more interested in why she does it and not the impact on me as her client. I think she should reflect more on that.
This has been an ongoing issue for me in our relationship, that t pushes me too hard and doesn’t give up. She pushes me so hard sometimes that it really does impact my emotional health. I told her not to use the choice word and to try and guilt me into feeling like I have choose a lot of my lives problems and I wish she would reflect on that.

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