It's 3:30 AM and I have T at 11. I'm wide awake.

I am nervous. There is so much I want to say, but it never comes out. I have two more letters to give him.

I put my small stuffed teddy in my purse but I don't know if I'm gonna take it out when I get there.

I've been reading so many clinical examples of patient-therapist interactions in my erotic transference books and journal articles. There is so much freedom in what is said. I want to be like that. Oh, resistance. Sigh.

[ECHOES]

I hope you have a great session today, pink.

Your stuffed teddy in your purse could stay there and symbolize that you are, like a child, freed to talk without censoring and say whatever you want to say and whatever comes to mind. ...........

[MissCharlotte]

Pink,

Now you have a choice between Teddy and Mr. Penguin! You can use either depending on whether you need a big hug or a tiny one.

Ok I slept for four hours. T in two hours now.

I'm sitting here with one of my birds and the teddy on my lap. They are both green, lol.

I'm obsessing over remembering every single thing T says in session today. I hate forgetting things he says.

I'm obsessing over the fact that I'm pretty sure I just had a dream that I had sex with him. Yeah, that's right. It's one of those vague dreams in which I cannot remember the details surrounding it, but I'm pretty damn sure that was the main event. But I'm not 100 percent sure though. I mean, I am 100 percent sure that he was in the dream and that there was definitely sexual content, but I'm an not exactly sure at this point what happened. Hoping (sort of) it comes back to me.

Apparently the real research for my erotic transference paper goes on while I sleep, lol.

Enjoy your T time!

How cute!!!

[Perna]

Pink's at T, Pink's at T now. Any bets on how she's doing? :-) LOL

[ECHOES]

[lauren_helene]

Sitting here tapping my fingers waiting...

I think you are doing great and can't wait to hear if you read him that angry letter.