Couch 166: The Un-hex-hexed Couch

The usual - good stats, no corrective actions, a room w a door cuz of hipaa, etc. I meet everything but I guess there's a limited number of openings or something so they prolly threw names in a hat haha. No bigs. I'll wear my noise canceling headphones and just tune the office out lol

I'm grateful for having a job I like and that's all that matters!

NP: I don't see how you could NOT have PTSD. I think I have a mild case of it from witnessing last year's rally where a car plowed through protestors, with me being 10-15 feet behind the ones who got injured/killed (only one person died, but dozens injured). UGH.

I think knowing I "officially" have it would feel validating somehow. I feel like I'm excessively f***ed up for what I've been through, but I also realize I've lost all outside perspective on how normal/not normal it (the abuse and the fire) was or how mild/extreme it was. My therapist was joking with me a little recently when he told me he's had to do some new things with me. One thing was around email - that I'm his guinea pig on how he handles clients emailing. The other was that he's never had a client whose husband set their house on fire. I was thinking yeah, I guess this is a fairly unique situation, but it's also not unheard of. I'm pretty much a mess anymore. I guess having the diagnosis would make it easier to talk to people about my situation. Kind of like a stamp of approval. Yes, something bad happened to you. I hope this makes some sense. I'm not sure I understand it myself.

Idk - could go either way - my t was wearing skinny jeans today.

Were they...ah...whole in the crotchal area?

I’m impressed—he’s got stones to do that at his age. Maybe we could introduce him and Info?

His stones were scrunched in those pants, i think. I couldnt tell, he was wearing the H&M shirt with the BRIGHTLY CONTRASTING TAG hanging in his crotch. Not that i was looking

Eta - i wanted to sing "dont want no woman with no skinny legs!:

Yeah, they do tend to be unsophisticated. And they’re usually the ones who copy on tests. The athletes have usually hired someone to write their paper (who has already written the same paper for someone else, so Turnitin catches it).

Alas, I got all your hopes up for nothing. She was quite demurely dressed in a white blouse and black pencil skirt and only semi-****-me heels. I might have thought the real Info had been abducted by aliens, but the matching orange hair and skin reassured me.

At one point I said I’d been a difficult client at times, and she responded, “That’s OK, I’ve been a difficult therapist.” No kidding.

And because she hasn’t said anything zany and impractical for awhile, she then suggested I submit my anti-therapist short stories to psychology journals. ‘K.

I don’t even know what to say. She’s a quack.

Is this the first year you asked for it? Would that have a bearing?

Shes no Piaf.

Back in MY day, we only went to the embassy for diplomatic immunity when we killed someone! Not just for copying a test!

Yep. And shouldn't.

No email, and I'm outtie! Guess I'll find out tomorrow.

Who right now is deep in a cave, completely inaccessible, contemplating stalagmites and stalactites.

Or so I like to think.

I've always wanted to camp out in a cave for a few days. Contemplating all kinds of things including stalagmites and stalactites.

That mental image sent me straight to a favorite novel from my youth -
The Crystal Cave. My older dog's name, when I got him from the rescue place as a puppy, was Merlin. He is a sweet but fraidy cat kind of guy - not in the least Merlinish. I changed his name within 24 hours.

Merlin as in King Arthur?

My therapist got in a twist today when I said she wasn't being very empathetic around a difficult issue I finally brought up. She said that people with ptsd have been shown to interpret neutral facial expressions as angry or negative and that she was just being neutral. What I didn't think to ask at the time was how is neutral being empathetic?

I am pleased to announce that three new Oreo flavors are on shelves—Cherry Cola, Kettle Corn, and Pina Colada (thins).

Two of my high school friends and I keep each other updated on weirdly-flavored junk food.

Be warned though that she may see she's being neutral because you might --
a. Disbelieve her empathetic facial expressions and / or

b. She wants to give you space to express your emotions

(Frankly, I have a hard time believing Blondie's empathetic facial expressions.)

That's a good point, AY. I probably would not find it believable.

OMG, those all sound disgusting, even by Oreo standards.

yes. The novel is by mary stewart

My coddler arrived—my mother is clearly thrilled by my sudden interest in kitchenware.

I haven't been eating junk food since January, oreos would probably taste like straight Crisco to me now!

Have you asked your T yet if he thinks you have PTSD? My T throws the word around with me and this thing that happened last year. From my way outside and non-expert opinion, all signs point to that YES you have PTSD and it is rather severe, and rightly so. When I think of what your H did on the night of the fire, my mind can scarcely believe it. And to think this was basically an exclamation point on a novel of abuse he already terrorized you with.