Breakdown at work.

I am sitting in my office crying. My anxiety hit a very high level. I couldn't get out of bed this morning because of the depression, and ended up being 45 minutes late to work. In the last two nights, I have SI'ed around 35 times. I called my husband but he didn't really know what do say. I called T because I just need to hear his voice. So now I'm waiting for him to call back while having a total breakdown in my office. What the hell am I supposed to do if someone knocks on the door? Plus I am supposed to do an intake assessment in a half hour. I am completely losing it. Scared. Waiting for Klonopin to work.

Call someone to do the intake. Tell them you just threw up in the ladies room. There's a terrible virus going around and you have to leave work immediately. Or, you have a personal emergency and you have to leave work immediately.*

Put a call into PDOC

Wait for T's call. Tell him you are not safe right now. Tell PDoc the same thing. Ask if T or PDOC can see you on an emergency basis. You need to feel cared for right now this minute.

DO NOT BE ALONE

Have a manicure
Get a massage
Buy a new teddy bear at build a bear

If the phone call and Klonopin don't work, or if T or pdoc can't see you, go to the ER. Call your husband and tell him to meet you there.

BE SAFE

WE LOVE YOU

HOLDING YOU CLOSE TO ME NOW I NEED YOU

((((((PInksoil and SISTER)))))))

Are you ok? Are you doing the intake- or did you get someone to do it for you?
(((((((((((((((((hugs if you want them))))))))))))))))))))))
Kiya

Love and hugs ((((((( pinksoil ))))))))

Switch this round a minute, if this was a patient of yours think what you would do for this patient, and do it!

(((hugs))) I hope you were able to gather yourself up a bit, or put the intake off a bit.

You are human, and you are struggling just a bit more visibly than others right now, eh?

Once this crisis passes, then maybe you can reevaluate what you need to eliminate or reduce in your life to help you regain your balance.

Breathe. You are ok right now, you can do this intake you know how... maybe if you share with the person that you're having a personal family issue that will help them connect with you better, you never know.

(((((((((((((( pinksoil ))))))))))))))))

love
Fuzzy

I love you Sister

I put in a call to PDOC as well.

The Klonopin is starting to slow things down. So much so, that I feel like I want to take additional half to be even slower.

omg i was just called in for a brief meeting about the new intake form...........i can't even function. I'll be back.l :-(

{{{pink}}} hope you get through this okay and things start moving up.

It's amazing how we function amidst the inner turmoil.

Take the other half of Klonopin if you can still drive your car after taking it.

Keep us informed, if you can.

Keep your cell phone on.

Remember stay around other people for now.

Pink, I hope things sort themselves out for you!

((((((((((pinksoil))))))))))

I am sorry!!!!!!!!!!! You can get through it. I know what you mean about hearing a familiar voice, that is how I feel about my p-doc. I hope to run into you soon in chat or something! Take care.

T called. Ohhh, his voice. It was so soft. I was really crying on the phone. I told him I was afraid he was going to leave me because there is nothing else he can do and that he will give up. He said that I should know he would never do that.

Then I was telling him about the letters I wrote to him this week all about the SI. He said that it was important that I captured that experience on paper, but that he wants me to write more to him because as he said, "There is so much more to you than that... so much more."

I am leaving work in one hour to go to school. I also had a fight with my husband on the phone, in regards to what I'm going through, and my cell phone service was suspended because I ignored the bill, as I tend to do when I'm depressed. The phone is back on now though.

T said, "We have so many things to talk about on Saturday. I have letters and papers that you have given me that we haven't even gotten to talking about yet. We have so much do discuss."

He told me to hang in there.

(((((pinksoil)))))

I'm so glad you heard from your T. It sounds like his voice was just what you needed to hear. He is there for you, holding space for you and him to meet on Saturday.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
We have so much do discuss."

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sigh

t a l k

r e a l l y

s l o w l y



I'm happy for you that you connected with him, today when you needed it so much.

Pinksoil!

I hope you're feeling better. Sometimes life just sucks. I'm really glad you got to talk to T. Take care of yourself. You'll make it through!!!

I am thinking about you. Hoping things will get better...

Sidony

Pink,

I'm so worried about you! Please take gentle care of yourself
((((((((Pink))))))))))).
Love ya'!
Your Mozart

Pink, I don't post much out of fear. I was so touched and could literally feel your anxiety this morning spinning around. I want you to know I read your posts and I care. I hope things are so much better tonite. I thought of you all day. {{{{{{Pink}}}}

I hope you're doing okay now. You inspire me.

Just wanted to send out a huge 'thank you' to all of you. The level of support in response to this thread was truly amazing.