Couch 171: Scams R Us

It was a pretty thoughtless thing to say. I'm sure he didn't mean it how it sounded but he should have been more aware of how it might come across. I would feel hurt too.

I realized last night I am picky about ice cream. I don’t like chocolate or vanilla and strawberry only if it’s homemade.

My favorites are coffee, caramel, coconut, and flavors with lots of chunks. I usually keep some Ben and Jerry’s in the back of the freezer. For emergencies.

Couch poll: Favorite ice cream flavors?

My favorite is a well made vanilla ice cream. I do not like chunks of anything in it. I think chunks and goo and excessive flavors are often to cover up a lack of quality in the ice cream base itself. For me, chunks mess up the texture.
I do think it is hard to find a really good commercial vanilla ice cream, but a quality vanilla is a delight to me. A poorly made vanilla is an abomination.

Haagen-Dazs chocolate with peanut butter ribbon.

I don’t like chunks either. Also don’t care for Ben and Jerry’s.

Vanilla, caramel, pecan praline, and peanut butter swirl. Do sorbets count? If so, mango sorbet, especially from Haagen Dazs (sp?).

Note; the lack of chocolate is largely because chocolate gives me headaches. Before that, I used to love cookies and cream or fudge swirl (never liked straight-up chocolate ice cream though). Oh, or Jamocha Almond Swirl from Baskin Robbins, who had a location in the student center right across from my dorm in college--evil!

Cookie dough and chocolate fudge brownie by Ben and Jerry. Strawberry cheesecake by Haagen Dazs.

Solero by walls is amazing.

But usually MINT is my to go flavour.

I haven't had any real ice cream in ages though.

WFS -- I thought we were friends for really real and then you had to go and say you don't think chocolate ice cream is ice cream?

Chocolate all the way. Only chocolate and nothing else. Okay, brownie batter maybe but that's it.

In other news, as it's been a while since Blondie and I had a spat, I thought I might as well start one up. Last night then went something like this --

Me: I have no idea what you think or feel.

Blondie: You absolutely know what I think or feel. You know what my personality is like.

Me: What do you really think or feel in session with me? I don't sense any complexity of emotion from you.

Blondie: That makes me sound empty.

Me: Okay, what are you feeling right now?

Blondie: I am feeling misunderstood, discounted and categorized.

Me: Okay, now we're talking.

Things went on in this vein for a while and then I asked her how long she'd been in therapy? She asked if I was asking because I thought she still needed therapy? I dodged that question and then she dodged mine and said she couldn't remember (which is odd given that she's in her mid-40s and she was in therapy in her 30s). So, I asked if it was 1, 2 or 3 years or something? And, she said more than that. I was like "Ohhh......".

We ended around there. I could sense she was pissed as heck and possibly hurt as I left. And, I later felt like I really am sometimes a royal jerk to her. Oh well.

I don't really love ice-cream, but I'd choose mint chocolate. I love dark chocolate with mint, coffee with chocolate & mint... Everything with chocolate & mint or just mint

I'm lactose intolerant so I don't get as many flavor options with dairy-free ice cream. Trader Joe's makes a good cherry chocolate chip soy ice cream that I like, so I'd say that's my favorite.

I think we both got a bit lost yesterday. Lately we've been using a gas tank analogy and I've told him I feel like I'm running on fumes. I'm trying to recharge in therapy, but it's not working. The letter I wrote and he read was about some of the reasons I've been having trouble that had to do with our relationship. Things that I normally wouldn't bring up because I usually don't say things to people. I just take things away and either drop them or bring them up later. One of the things was about the financial aspect of our relationship and the way I perceived some things as insensitively handled and how I wonder if he only cares because I pay him. I think I wrote about that recently on here. I have issues in this area because my husband was unemployed for 15 years and I felt that the only reason he kept me around was because I was able to feed, house, clothe, and keep him supplied in alcohol. This prompted him to start talking about his practice and how he was bad at getting paid for his work and then the assessment thing came up. None of this made me feel any better about bringing this up. It was really hard to let him know how I felt and I'm still not sure if he only sees me as a paycheck.

Some other things he said:
He can't give me everything I need.
I'm on the extreme end among his clients about me not telling him when things bug me.
He promised me too much. (About him missing 2 of our regular sessions next week, even though we rescheduled one, and next week is the anniversary of the fire.)

I can't remember more. It was a very intensely painful session and I left feeling like a horrible, needy person. I seem him again in a few hours. I still think he's a good therapist for me, but this session just took a turn I didn't see coming.

Mocha fudge, vanilla fudge, tin roof sundae, caramel or butterscotch swirl. A good sorbet. A good chocolate or vanilla. Heck anything thats cold!

AY—any client of Blondie’s should be compensated with a lifetime’s supply of chocolate ice cream.

Though personally I would rather mix up real brownie batter than eat it in ice cream form.

By the way, Info told me yesterday that our main work in therapy had been “the relationship.” I only just stopped myself from saying “What relationship?” And she wonders why I don’t know what we’re doing in therapy.

Also if she is going to orange her skin and hair, she needs to stop wearing hot electric pink.

Hot electric pink? Is that that really horrible burn your eyeballs out shade of pink? ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Closest I could find on the internet to the particular shade.

Wonder if Info would like a hot pink hard hat? For those particularly energetic games of tug of war.

Eww yeah that is the bright pink burn your eyeballs out shade

A neighbour of mine had that colour and shade of car, couldn't walk past it without getting a migraine, that's how bad it was

Be glad she didn’t go further and say therapy is all about attachment (to the therapist) — it’s Blondie’s favorite phrase.

Would it be bad if I laughed out when I read this?

I think you're very brave NP for sharing how you really felt. I hope your session foes well today.

Ex-t said to me one time: "this relationship IS your work." I suppose it was, at that.

I always wondered if those people actually believe any of the total crap they say.

I think she did.

Blue bell ice cream from Texas, any flavor but I love cookies & cream. Not to be confused with blue bunny ice cream which is awful.

I have wondered about this — I told Blondie I’d respect her more (although I’d be pissed at the deliberate insult to my intelligence) if she was just trying to pull wool over my eyes rather than if she actually believed all of it.

She insisted she believes all of it. And, also that she really is empathetic, warm, attuned, validating etc in real life.

So I told her I’m sure she believes all of it because people’s professional self-images are important for their (emotional) survival regardless of how objectively true or not they are.

She threw back that professional self-image comment at me later in a bit of a huff.

I am starting to miss that stupid, convoluted relationship with ex-t.

Damn, I hope that goes away soon!

Am going swimming and then to see Piaf, who being more proodent than Info most definitely will not tell me that we’re working on the relationship.

Or if she does I’ll know an alien has taken over her body.