Does your therapist get angry at you?

I’m wondering if anyone’s therapist has gotten mad at them or yelled at them
Before. I’m asking because I’ve been drinking a lot of Gatorade, just to drink it. One time I brought one into session, and my therapist angrily yanked it off the table and started reading me the nutrition facts. I wasn’t even talking about the Gatorade, or even acknowledging it. It was random. So now I’m kind of stressing out about the Gatorade I’ve been drinking. I drink it because it doesn’t have caffeine or carbonation in it. I just have some bad memories from her behavior towards it.

My therapist yelled at me a lot. I had one cheat day in 5 or 6 months, and she grilled me about it. Also I was not allowed to talk about my eating habits, but she was allowed to bring them up. I wish I would have talked to her about how I felt.

Ummmm...that does not sound health, AT ALL. Are you seeing a nutritionist type of T?

My T has never come close to yelling at me. She thinks about her words carefully when she is talking about delicate topics. I would run like he11 if my T started yelling at me, or yanked a drink away from me.

Um, what? Why does she get to comment about what you drink, let alone yell?

Maybe get a new therapist? You deserve to be treated respectfully.

Yeah, my therapist has gotten mad at me and yelled at me a few times. To be honest, I liked it. It shows he cares about me. We're mostly beyond that dynamic at this point.

The context in which your therapist yelled at you is kind of weird though. Is she helping you with nutrition and eating? Why would she grill you about your cheat day? (Also, one cheat day in 5 or 6 months?! You're a saint!) And how come you're not allowed to talk about your eating habits?

My T got mad once only. He didn't yell though, he just was very upset. The situation called for it way more than yours though. My T would never criticize my eating habits (at least not if they are okay, like a Gatorade). I agree with others, seeing somebody else might be better.

I love gatorade after a long run ( or a late night haha) - gatorade does have too much sugar( oh and I guess yucky coloring) , but it isn't THAT bad. Are you there to see her for eating/ nutrition related topics, or was it kind of random commentary? While my T is quite strict, I can't see him addressing what I drink. I drink coffee in session now and then, and he does too. I've never brought any other kind of food or drink to his office. Maybe you could just go with no food/ no drinks so she can't comment?

Not in 9 years has my therapist yelled at me, or even raised his voice.

My T has never shown any anger towards me, commented on my drink (usually coffee), or forbidden me to talk about a specific topic. This situation sounds very strange to me.

He's been frustrated with me and once said something I took to be hurtful, but other than that he's cool as a bean. Him being angry at me would be a huge trigger for me and I think he knows that.

I'm getting red flags from your post and personally don't think a T should be yelling at a client.

I would not have tolerated a therapist who acted in an angry fashion at me. I am hiring them - they do not have a stake in my life or my actions. There would be no reason for a therapist to be angry at me and if one did become angry - I would expect them to keep it to themselves. If the therapist could not, I would hire a different one.

my therapist and i yell at each other often and get mad at each other, she gets mad at me sometimes. BUt itx something that works for us and i am ok with.
but that doesnt sound very nice of your therapist.

The therapist doesn't care enough to be angry. Annoyed? Yes. Disgusted? Sure. Disapproving? Absolutely.

She’s not a nutritionist. She just lost a lot of weight and kept it off so she thinks everyone should be exactly the same as her. She told me not to talk about it because she didn’t like my eating habits. But she often brought it up. Then yelled at me for responding by saying “I told you not to talk about this.” I tried writing a review on yelp. She found out and called me and told me to remove it. So I did. I just feel guilty about drinking Gatorade when I’m not at a post workout. I try to save them for my break at work. I think I’m a bit dehydrated after 3 hours. At least I like to tell myself. I wish I could rewrite the review as anonymous. Then she would have no proof it was me. I hope to run into her so I could tell her how I feel. I think the only place I would possibly run into her would be at my job. I don’t think it would be appropriate though to say what I need to say.

It is not a Ts job to censor your online opinions.

Yes, the T that has helped me the most in my life and literally saved my life yelled at me quite a few things and purposefully allowed for her anger to be incorporated into our sessions, as well as my own. Unfortunately today was her last day, so I have to move on to a new T. It’s heartbreaking. But, about the yelling, she did it in a productive manner. Sometimes it was her actually raising her voice, other times it was just using an incredibly stern tone. She did it because honestly, it’s the only thing that works with me when I get in certain willful states and helps me turn around self-destructive behavior real fast. She only ever yelled at me because she cares, and she would make that clear and never just leave me after the yelling, we’d always talk through why she yelled, what needs to be done going forward, behavior changed, etc.. Personal safety stuff and self-sabatogng my goals were the main things that got her on my case real fast. The yelling really worked to kind of snap me out of wherever I was and actually listen to what she was saying to me for real. She kinda did it in a parenting/nurturing way, and she even said as much.

What your T is doing does not sound like that...your T sounds abusive and overly controlling. It sounds like she just wants to break you down, not build you up. Like it’s her way or the highway and that she wants to control the whole conversation, which is not what therapy is about. I had a controlling T like that once and I lasted 2 weeks with her. Are you happy with this T? Do you feel like you’re making progress? Or do you just feel like she’s beating you down? I think those are the questions you have to ask yourself.

Yeah, a therapist randomly yelling at me, wouldn't work out well. Spirited debate, sure.

My group therapy was led by a nightmarish therapy team. She was a shrieker "something about you makes me want to kick you," and he was cruelly contemptuous-- Dr. Phil without the insight. They both unleashed their rage as I tried to escape their grasp. I was--and am--in no danger to myself and others; this only was about their vanity (or income). My complaint against her wasn't even heard; my complaint against him was judged in his favor. I assume this means that their behavior meets professional standards.

I now believe that being a client does not exempt a therapist from courtesy and civility. Apoplectic anger at a client is unjustified, unprofessional and unhinged.

Interesting topic considering my first post here...

This question, in my mind, is twofold. One, does any member of my treatment team get angry with me? And, two, how do they express that anger?

I am not sure if I would use the word anger. I would rather choose to believe that they get frustrated. But, truth be told, as human beings, anger is an emotion we all experience from time to time. If using the term anger, I think my team has gotten angry with my behaviors, but not necessarily with me. Where I am concerned, I definitely think they experience more frustration than anger. That being said, the situation I posted about earlier regarding C (my coach) definitely indicates something more than frustration - her response and subsequent lack of response was more passionate and, to me, passion can be synonymous with anger. But, even though I have been negatively impacted by that situation and have been hurt, I still believe she was more angry with my behavior than with me as my core person.

My T has gotten frustrated with my behavior. I tend to dissociate quite a bit with her and can be avoidant and resistant. I know that I have a tendency to test her and to push her away - even more so when there is something significant going on. I struggle to communicate effectively and wind up acting out in an effort to get my needs met. But, it comes out sideways and is frustrating for her as she knows there is something serious going on, but I fight her and resist the help she is offering. We have talked about how she is frustrated in those moments. But, she has also made sure to explain where her frustration comes from and she has taken time to ensure I understand that her frustration does not change our relationship. She reminds me that all sorts of emotions are normal and expected in relationships and that not all of those feelings are positive. And, she has been consistent in teaching me that there can be disagreements and ruptures, but that it does not mean that she will stop working with me, go away, or outright abandon me. She also has really good boundaries and is healthy from an emotional standpoint.

I don't know that my T has ever truly been angry with me. She has been angry with my eating disorder and she has expressed anger around traumatic experiences I have had. But, she's never shown anger towards and has never directed anger at me. This is not to say she has not raised her voice; she has. In times where I cannot be reached or am acting out, she has raised her voice. But, it has been with the sole intention of getting my attention and stopped a potentially harmful behavior. She has never been judgmental or shaming, but she has been firm and direct. And, while I have found people raising their voices or "yelling" to be scary in many situations, I've never felt threatened or unsafe in her presence. Nor have I felt that her behavior came from a place of anger.

My RD (dietitian) has gotten frustrated with my eating disorder. She has gotten frustrated by my inability to follow my meal plan, my willfulness, and my resistance to accepting her professional opinion on things (mainly surrounding the need for medical intervention). She has never raised her voice and has never appeared angry. That being said, she is a very direct individual and I also know that she will not coddle me. She has expressed concern over treating me at an outpatient level and she has stated that she is frustrated and has felt ineffective due to my lack of progress. But, again, I have never really felt as though she was angry with me. Where my T is more emotional, my RD is very even keeled. She is warm and absolutely offers reassurance, care, and concern. But, she's not one to be dramatic. And, I don't see her getting angry. Again, I think she is very stable with healthy boundaries.

I already posted about my C. And, I don't know that it would be helpful to rehash that again here. Additionally, I am not sure that my feelings about the situation have settled enough for me to be objective. Do I think she has gotten angry with me? Yes. Do I think her anger is really about me as a person? No. I think she is not as emotionally healthy and I think her own emotions get in her way. And, while, now, that has caused me much hurt, her passion and connection to her own emotions is what has helped me most. So, I suppose that goes to show that anger is not always a negative emotion. If used properly, it can be healing and used as a catalyst for change. When used incorrectly, though, we have situations such as the one I am experiencing now. And, that is very difficult on many levels.

Anger is a natural human emotion. It is healthy and it is necessary. In the end, it's how that anger is expressed that makes all the difference. So, whether my team has been angry with me or not, I think the takeaway is that we continue to talk about what brings about those emotions so that I can continue to grow and heal. And, even in the trying times, such as the situation with C, there is something to be learned. If there isn't, that would indicate to me that I need to move on from that team member as well as assess my own behavior to determine what it is I need and how to best achieve that. And, above all, I think the most important lesson is to learn that I, too, can experience anger and frustration. Just as it is the responsibility of my team to manage their emotions, it is my responsibility to be honest and work towards understanding and managing my own.

This seems inappropriate to me. I don't really see why it would ever be appropriate to yell at a client, honestly. Like unless there was an immediate danger or something, but that seems like a situation that could call for deescalation at that point anyway. Being firm is one thing if they are concerned, but not yelling. It also seems super irrelevant that you are drinking a Gatorade and I do not know why it would make her so angry. If she has a problem with you having food in session, she only needs to tell you that she finds it respectful. If she thinks you are making overall bad choices for your health, then discussing the root causes might be a good idea in therapy, or suggesting you see a nutritionist. From your further explanation about her recent weight loss, it actually would seem that she has too much focus on food/weight herself and needs to address that in therapy or something perhaps to figure out a way to not bring that into session. I mean for all she knows you could be struggling with weight, food or body image and as someone recovered from anorexia it upsets me that she would bring that up in such a negative way.

She sounds positively unhinged. What’s it to her how much gatorade you drink?
She isn’t your doctor or your mommy.
I would never tolerate a therapist yelling at me: in fact I quit therapy one year ago mostly because my last therapist yelled at me and got frustrated (also I didn’t need it and it was pointless).
And telling you to remove a yelp review you wrote? Wow. That is just crazy.
Can I ask why you are staying with her?

My therapist has never gotten angry with me. I can’t imagine she ever would. I can always count on her to have a calm and gentle demeanor.

I would get very angry at this therapist. No one has any right to yell at you for drinking any kind of drink. Your life your body and as for not being allowed to talk about your eating habits but she can- I would tell her to take a hike!!!

I tried switching therapists. The guy I switched to was a complete nightmare.

I actually haven’t seen anyone in about a month. She didn’t return my call about rescheduling. I feel like it’s her problem not mine. That place also doesn’t know how to bill my insurance correctly, so my bill is a couple hundred more then I actually owe. No one will return my calls about the bill and actually going in there didn’t work either. I feel like I’m doing pretty good. With a combination of work, Facebook and PC, I feel pretty good. I do want to rewrite that yelp review and change my name to anonymous. Part of me thinks it’s a bad idea. My mom said go ahead if you want to. I don’t think I can get in trouble if she can’t actually prove it’s me. Doesn’t freedom of speech apply to non threatening yelp reviews anyways?

Not that I've ever noticed. She seems to be very paitent with me but I'm sure I must frustrate her at times, and if I don't then I'm shocked because I frustrate myself constantly.

Yes. All the freakin time. Constantly tells me how ******** I am