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  #276  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 04:15 PM
Echos Myron redux Echos Myron redux is offline
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Originally Posted by Lemoncake View Post


Perhaps you can make a list of stuff to bring up on Wednesday.
Thanks. That probably would be more constructive than taking screenshots of obscure conference pictures from Twitter with T randomly in the background.
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  #277  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 04:15 PM
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Originally Posted by susannahsays View Post
They can, and this is a forum in which we can express our opinions. From the sounds of it, your circumstances are completely different, weren't chosen, and your comment is therefore completely irrelevant to what I said.
wow rude much? as YOU so succinctly said it everyone can express their opinions and i was expressing mine. at no time did i say anyone HAD to raise a child as a single parent so you might want to think before you make comments like that. i was sharing something personal that i felt might be relevent and it is not up to you to interpret it as anything else
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  #278  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 04:33 PM
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susannahsays susannahsays is offline
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Originally Posted by invisible butterfly View Post
wow rude much? as YOU so succinctly said it everyone can express their opinions and i was expressing mine. at no time did i say anyone HAD to raise a child as a single parent so you might want to think before you make comments like that. i was sharing something personal that i felt might be relevent and it is not up to you to interpret it as anything else
I don't think it's rude to point out that you responded to my comment in a misleading manner.
  #279  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 04:44 PM
Anonymous43209
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Originally Posted by susannahsays View Post
I don't think it's rude to point out that you responded to my comment in a misleading manner.
you just seem bound and determined to make your own interpretations of what i say. but i am not going to be part of it anymore nor will i allow myself to become angry so i wish you a nice day and thats that. if you dont like or agree with what i say please do feel free to ignore it or not even read it
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  #280  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 05:00 PM
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ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
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Invisible Butterfly, I appreciated you trying to relate to me. Yes, our circumstances are different, but they are similar.

It is my body and my choice when to try to get pregnant; or not.

Again, I'm not trying to get pregnant right now. There are other things I have to take care of before I try again.

I'll leave it at that.
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  #281  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 05:11 PM
Anonymous54879
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Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel View Post
Invisible Butterfly, I appreciated you trying to relate to me. Yes, our circumstances are different, but they are similar.

It is my body and my choice when to try to get pregnant; or not.

Again, I'm not trying to get pregnant right now. There are other things I have to take care of before I try again.

I'll leave it at that.
Scarlet, I want to apologize if my original comment back to you today was out of line. I didn’t want to draw attention to your desire to have a child. I gave an unsolicited opinion on that topic and I shouldn’t have when you came to vent about your H. All I can really say on that is that it seems like you are the only one looking out for you right now since H is mixed up in his issues and I hope you find ways to put your needs first. Hugs.
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  #282  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 05:24 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Originally Posted by Jersey 2.0 View Post
Scarlet, I want to apologize if my original comment back to you today was out of line. I didn’t want to draw attention to your desire to have a child. I gave an unsolicited opinion on that topic and I shouldn’t have when you came to vent about your H. All I can really say on that is that it seems like you are the only one looking out for you right now since H is mixed up in his issues and I hope you find ways to put your needs first. Hugs.
Excellent apology! You're a class act.
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  #283  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 06:05 PM
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SalingerEsme SalingerEsme is offline
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Originally Posted by Lemoncake View Post
R said I can have a session this week- but by now I'm therapied out and I've already SH'ed enough to not feel anything and to be able to focus again.

Am I right to skip the session that I so desperately wanted before?

But I of that time am no longer the same. I actually had this dream this morning:

It's Christmas time and my dad comes into the house from somewhere. He tells us we're going out somewhere so to get ready. My little sister is 3 and wearing her blue disney princess dress and starts to change. My mother and other sister go and sit outside on the wall- it's snowing. I run upstairs to change my clothes and my brother and I are putting on our shoes. Then he decides to go to sleep instead and says he's not going whilst my mother and sisters are already waiting outside and I can feel the disappointment looking at him.
Maybe you should see R, bc the not feeling anything is going to wear off and maybe your unconscious will be somehow, some way comforted that he made a special effort to be there for you?
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  #284  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 06:19 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Freud assures us that work is necessary for human happiness.
There's so little going on at my place of employment that Psych Central is my work.
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  #285  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 06:19 PM
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ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
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Originally Posted by Jersey 2.0 View Post
Scarlet, I want to apologize if my original comment back to you today was out of line. I didn’t want to draw attention to your desire to have a child. I gave an unsolicited opinion on that topic and I shouldn’t have when you came to vent about your H. All I can really say on that is that it seems like you are the only one looking out for you right now since H is mixed up in his issues and I hope you find ways to put your needs first. Hugs.
It's okay. It's a consequence of being open with all of you about my life. And I understand why it's a concern. My child will already have enough to deal with: genetics, a mother with BPD and diabetes, a medicated pregnancy, a father who is physically disabled, a crazy extended family, etc. I've already been told any pregnancy will be considered high risk. If I had a med free pregnancy, I'd have to be in the hospital my whole pregnancy.

That all being said, it is my dream to have a baby. I will be consulting with doctors the whole process. I hope it happens. And if need be, I will be a single mom. My ob/gyn is doing it.
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  #286  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 06:23 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel View Post
That all being said, it is my dream to have a baby. I will be consulting with doctors the whole process. I hope it happens. And if need be, I will be a single mom. My ob/gyn is doing it.
((Scarlet))
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  #287  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 06:35 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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The first therapist I ever saw, not the woman or the second one, had a lot to say (not much of it was suitable for the sensitive) about the fact that when she would adopt her dogs (she liked a particularly popular breed) they screened her more thoroughly than when she became a foster parent and the fact there was none for natural parents set her off.
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  #288  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 06:37 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
The first therapist I ever saw, not the woman or the second one, had a lot to say (not much of it was suitable for the sensitive) about the fact that when she would adopt her dogs (she liked a particularly popular breed) they screened her more thoroughly than when she became a foster parent and the fact there was none for natural parents set her off.
There is a test for natural parents...

Couch 175: You've Got Mail....
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  #289  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 06:41 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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If only that was true.
My person and I thought about having a child and she really wanted one, but ultimately decided that it would not be in the child's best interest in the long run due to various factors (the factors were mostly around her physical health/genetics - not me).
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Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Last edited by stopdog; Aug 13, 2018 at 06:54 PM.
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  #290  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 06:49 PM
Anonymous54879
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Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
The first therapist I ever saw, not the woman or the second one, had a lot to say (not much of it was suitable for the sensitive) about the fact that when she would adopt her dogs (she liked a particularly popular breed) they screened her more thoroughly than when she became a foster parent and the fact there was none for natural parents set her off.
My cousin who was a foster parent (she ultimately adopted the 2 children in her care) said that the screening was quite intense and she felt that when she adopted her dogs it was equally intense as getting approved to foster the children.

I believe it to be true.
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  #291  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 06:56 PM
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How many people on this board had parents who might should have thought about the child's best interest before having them? I think a lot of people report such.
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
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Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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  #292  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 07:05 PM
Anonymous43207
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That's a good point, sd, and a really interesting one to me too.... sometimes i wish my parents had thought about it but then again if they had I might not be here, my son might not be here, etc etc....
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  #293  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 07:09 PM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
How many people on this board had parents who might should have thought about the child's best interest before having them? I think a lot of people report such.
Mine were the opposite, if I understand what you mean correctly. Everything was planned planned planned: x income, house near good schools, partnerships in medical practices. And as my mother will tell you happily we were born in less than an hour and on our due date. She clearly thinks all her planning had something to do with this.
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  #294  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 07:13 PM
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Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
Mine were the opposite, if I understand what you mean correctly. Everything was planned planned planned: x income, house near good schools, partnerships in medical practices. And as my mother will tell you happily we were born in less than an hour and on our due date. She clearly thinks all her planning had something to do with this.

then there was my mom who said "Oh no, I'm 22 and all my friends have babies I guess I better have one too!"

(she told me this when i was pregnant with my son, how lucky I was to be having a baby because I wanted him) (As if I hadn't known since I was very young that I wasn't wanted)

eta: this probably explains why I didn't have my son until I was 36 now that I think about it!!

Last edited by Anonymous43207; Aug 13, 2018 at 07:45 PM.
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  #295  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 07:15 PM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn View Post
then there was my mom who said "Oh no, I'm 22 and all my friends have babies I guess I better have one too!"

(she told me this when i was pregnant with my son, how lucky I was to be having a baby because I wanted him) (As if I hadn't known since I was very young that I wasn't wanted)
Had my father married someone else nothing would have been planned.

But he married a woman who missed what would have been a sterling career as an army quartermaster.

I can’t really complain, though.
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  #296  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 07:24 PM
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I don’t really know what my parents story is. My mother and father met very young. He then went into the Marines to “Get off the streets”. When he was discharged, they got married-both were completely broke and had no education at all. (Both high school dropouts) They then had my sister at 21 and me at 24. (They were still broke when they had me) then they had my younger sister 9 years after me. Obviously nothing was thought out. Took my father 20 years to finally get them on their feet.
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  #297  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 07:28 PM
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Most of the people in my state cannot financially make ends meet, people are homeless all over the place and drug addled or mentally ill and living in the woods by the hundreds, and then there is climate change and political unrest. I can barely say congratulations when someone has a child born into this mess. I, for one, feel my parents had 6 children too many. My mother had a mental illness and all she did was make my life hell. I am not grateful for being born.
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  #298  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 07:31 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
How many people on this board had parents who might should have thought about the child's best interest before having them? I think a lot of people report such.
Not the mother I would have chosen, but she did raise me to (chronological) adulthood.

She did love me. I can feel that now.

And yes, I was planned. And raised to a plan. That's where things went wrong. She failed to consider the Psychology of the Individual.
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  #299  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 07:33 PM
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Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
But he married a woman who missed what would have been a sterling career as an army quartermaster.
She'd have been overqualified!
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  #300  
Old Aug 13, 2018, 08:02 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
Mine were the opposite, if I understand what you mean correctly. Everything was planned planned planned: x income, house near good schools, partnerships in medical practices. And as my mother will tell you happily we were born in less than an hour and on our due date. She clearly thinks all her planning had something to do with this.
Not quite what I mean -but some. My parents also did your parent sort of planning.
I was talking more about putting the needs/best interest of the child before one's own desires. Even if that is one's own desire to have one. There are other ways, and I believe more than people seem to realize, ways to have children in one's life and to be beneficial to those children than giving birth to one.
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
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Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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