Couch 180:

Yes, he did plead guilty to 5 counts of arson.

I called the victim's services at the DA's office and they acted like I was speaking Chinese when I asked if the no contact was enforceable. I didn't have the case number in front of me at the time so she wanted to redirect me back to the sheriff's office. I told her no thanks, I've already talked to them. There's got to be some route where they will listen to me. I remember last year feeling like I don't really matter in these proceedings. I feel the same way today.

Spring classes are listed now so I'm figuring out what I'll be taking next semester. The last actual psych class I need isn't offered, so I'll work on the others I need... from my first perusal, looks like I'll be taking intro to poetry writing for sure, and that's online so yay. not sure what else yet. i have to take a science class maybe astronomy? i dunno.

Mmmmm! Pork chops!

My mother called. They've given my dad 3 - 7 days since he's no longer swallowing. Why does everything come all at once?

Today, the therapist and C talked about me. I didn't care for it. I especially disliked when the therapist said she wouldn't fire C just because of my angry text messages.

I feel impotent.

Hugs, NP...

NP - sorry to hear about your dad.

The terrible thing is that where I'm still at emotionally, I won't be able to attend his memorial service in TX. It's too long of a flight for me and I don't think I can be around that many people who want to talk and/or hug me. We've talked about it in therapy too. Somehow my mother understands with minimal explanation and is okay with that. She has lots of support from her siblings and friends so she won't be alone. I've asked for an extra session tomorrow because I feel like I need some extra support right now. I doubt he has any openings. He always seems full on Tuesdays.

If your t was planning a week long trip out of the country would t share those plans with you? Like as a heads up, may even say just so you know I will be out of the country this week? Even if you may not be scheduled to see t the week they are gone?

My T gave everyone 3 months notice he would be out of the country for 2 weeks

(((Np)))

I doubt either of the women would have done that. I can't imagine why they would or what difference the information would have made to me.

My T gives me as much warning as possible especially if it's out of the country.

I have been feeling off and oddly emotional the past few days, complete with nightmares. It finally occurred to me earlier today it will be three years tomorrow since the nonsurgery when the ventilator died on me, and that explains the nightmares at least.

It’d be nice to put that behind me someday.

Nope, mine won't. She only tells me if it'll affect a scheduled session. She used to not even tell me (even if it meant seeing her with a longer gap between sessions) until I asked her to please tell me so I'd at least know if I could call the clinic to ask for her.

Only if there was a session. It's happened a few times and he hasn't told me. Once he was like "I recently did x" I said "where?" and he said "Berlin" so I know he went there. Also I saw he was doing a presentation in Dublin but he never told me. I'm sure there are probably other occasions. Of course, I live on a little island surrounded by other countries so it's probably a more frequent occurrence over here.

Since he knows I constantly call for emergency sessions, he'd share if he's not around. Even if it's just for a day.

Mine wouldn't say where he was going or even that he'd be out of the country, but I think he'd let me know if he'd be away from the office for an extended time, especially if it would affect his ability to read email regularly. When he was out of town for most of last week, he let me know how often he'd be checking email and that he'd be available for brief crisis call if needed. He said if he ever would be in a place where he couldn't be checking email, he'd have another clinician checking it for him, and he'd let me know that--he said if there wasn't a backup, then he'd consider it client abandonment. Which surprised me, but is good to know.

My stomach is all messed up this morning and it’s preventing me from going on my power walk.

This was my assumption for what t would do. T recently asked me to start coming back for appointments a little more frequently until I get through the recent life happenings.

Then in talking with his wife she casually mentions that t is going out of country. It is something he is doing more often lately as he helping to establish a program. So, I assumed next time I saw the he would give me a heads up, but nope nothing. He is gone now without a mention of it.

I am not completely sure why this is bothering me so much right now.

I need all this crapioca to sod off already.

For what it's worth it would bother me too. Maybe talk to him about it when he's back? Maybe he didn't think of the fact that you might need to contact him and he can act accordingly next time.

I agree that you should talk to him about it when he's back.

And the week just keeps getting better. I just realized that today is my anniversary and my therapist doesn't have any openings today.

When's the soonest T can see you?