[Erecura]

I have been in therapy for about half a year now and on our last session, I asked my therapist, if she thinks that I have a depression or something else. She told me that she doesn't think I have a depression, because people with this diagnosis see everything in the negative light and I can still manage to have some kind of hope and positive emotions, I only need the right help to guide me. She also told me that most people who suffer from depression find it difficult to even get out of bed and do simple tasks like taking a shower, while I can go to work and function normally.

I have to say it surprised me. I was wondering, if she sees something else in me, if it's not depression, is it possible I have something else? But she told me that she doesn't see me as a person with a psychiatric diagnosis, because I have a healthy relationship, a job and friends with whom I meet often, and all those things are usually huge trouble for those who actually suffer from a mental disorder.

On one hand, it helped me feeling better about myself, but on the other... I have always felt like there's something really wrong with me. Like I am not... right and I have been dealing with tons of negative emotions and feelings of emptiness. Her statement made me feel like ... I am just a weak loser who simply fails at life...

Is it true that if you manage to function normally have a job, friends, love, family, manage to get up in the morning etc... You actually don't have a diagnosis?

[nels13245]

Theres many people out there that are still highly functional still have a good social life and act like there's nothing wrong but are fighting with depressive mental states.

Just because you seem like you have your life together doesn't mean you can't suffer from depressive emotions and thoughts.
Which means you could have mild depression.

I've been optimistic for years about my mental state " that everything is fine approach" its denial. when you are feeling something is wrong inside your head then theres a great chance there is.

But I realised that I could have a thousand times better perception and healthier mind than I had, took me a while though.

You might not be clinically depressed or depressed enough to be on medication.

But you can still be slightly depressed. Where do you draw the line? Not even therapist know exactly. Because it's just way too complicated.

There could be so many factors coming into play with why you are feeling the way you are, but i'de put my finger on diet, since your external world seems to not be causing the problem, Maybe you are not consuming enough foods that promote healthy chemical production...maybe experiment with natural supplements? Supplements helped me but I had to find which one worked the best. I jumped onto dopa mocha, which helps with dopamine deficit, but there's loads of stuff out there that could help you.

[nels13245]

Originally Posted by Erecura

I have been in therapy for about half a year now and on our last session, I asked my therapist, if she thinks that I have a depression or something else. She told me that she doesn't think I have a depression, because people with this diagnosis see everything in the negative light and I can still manage to have some kind of hope and positive emotions, I only need the right help to guide me. She also told me that most people who suffer from depression find it difficult to even get out of bed and do simple tasks like taking a shower, while I can go to work and function normally.

I have to say it surprised me. I was wondering, if she sees something else in me, if it's not depression, is it possible I have something else? But she told me that she doesn't see me as a person with a psychiatric diagnosis, because I have a healthy relationship, a job and friends with whom I meet often, and all those things are usually huge trouble for those who actually suffer from a mental disorder.

On one hand, it helped me feeling better about myself, but on the other... I have always felt like there's something really wrong with me. Like I am not... right and I have been dealing with tons of negative emotions and feelings of emptiness. Her statement made me feel like ... I am just a weak loser who simply fails at life...

Is it true that if you manage to function normally have a job, friends, love, family, manage to get up in the morning etc... You actually don't have a diagnosis?

How long have you been feeling this emptiness ? Can you remember a point in live where you weren't feeling IT? And is it persistent or does it come and go every now and then.

[WishfulThinker66]

Wow, I find this rather appalling and shocking.

I work at a high performance level, have a healthy relationship, and maintain a household. I may seem 'high functioning' but am a quivering pile of goo when it comes to anxiety which I somehow am able to keep hidden from people. In spite of the successes in my life I can tell you I very much suffer from my disorder.

[fallaximago]

This is quite strange indeed. My therapist told me something very similar. She thinks I'm not clinically depressed since people who are actually in that situation find it difficult even to get out of bed and lead a "regular" life. Well, I'm not unable to speak, walk or eat, but I'm very, very lazy, I often feel tired, I see myself as a failure and am prone to bouts of horrible desperation. I can keep the facade together for others to see me as completely "normal" but it's a living hell inside my head.

[MickeyCheeky]

((((Erecura)))) There are several kinds of depression. One can still lead a decent life and still have to fight his inner demons. It doesn't have to be deep depression either - it can be mild, or light, ecc. So yes, I think one can still have a diagnosis despite these things.

[chihirochild]

Originally Posted by Erecura

She also told me that most people who suffer from depression find it difficult to even get out of bed and do simple tasks like taking a shower

That is definitely not a universal truth. I'd been working 80 hours/week in the ICU when I was admitted to the psych hospital for a severe depressive episode (I was there for a whole month; they wanted me to get ECT). Went to work on a Monday, functioned totally normally (no one had any idea I was unwell), had myself admitted that Wednesday.

Depression, like most mental health issues, can take many forms.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by Erecura

I have been in therapy for about half a year now and on our last session, I asked my therapist, if she thinks that I have a depression or something else. She told me that she doesn't think I have a depression, because people with this diagnosis see everything in the negative light and I can still manage to have some kind of hope and positive emotions, I only need the right help to guide me. She also told me that most people who suffer from depression find it difficult to even get out of bed and do simple tasks like taking a shower, while I can go to work and function normally.

I have to say it surprised me. I was wondering, if she sees something else in me, if it's not depression, is it possible I have something else? But she told me that she doesn't see me as a person with a psychiatric diagnosis, because I have a healthy relationship, a job and friends with whom I meet often, and all those things are usually huge trouble for those who actually suffer from a mental disorder.

On one hand, it helped me feeling better about myself, but on the other... I have always felt like there's something really wrong with me. Like I am not... right and I have been dealing with tons of negative emotions and feelings of emptiness. Her statement made me feel like ... I am just a weak loser who simply fails at life...

Is it true that if you manage to function normally have a job, friends, love, family, manage to get up in the morning etc... You actually don't have a diagnosis?

I completely disagree with your T. I have generalized anxiety disorder, OCD, and recurrent major depression. I have a job (granted, it's working from home, but lots of deadlines), marriage, child, friends, and I get up every morning (even though I often don't want to). Yet even though I'm by many definitions "functional," these mental health issues affect my life every day. I'm sure I'd be functioning much better without them. Many things are a struggle for me. Yes, I might manage to do them, but that doesn't mean I'm completely fine and mental illness-free. If that's how your T defines things, I'm sorry, but I'd consider looking for a new T...

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by Erecura

But she told me that she doesn't see me as a person with a psychiatric diagnosis, because I have a healthy relationship, a job and friends with whom I meet often, and all those things are usually huge trouble for those who actually suffer from a mental disorder.

Is it true that if you manage to function normally have a job, friends, love, family, manage to get up in the morning etc... You actually don't have a diagnosis?

what a load of carp! i have a job, and am high-functioning, yet i have depression, and my T was the one to convince me i was depressed despite the fact i could get out of bed every day.

[Salmon77]

As people said above, there are different kinds of depression and they occur in varying degrees. Dysthymia is a less severe kind of depression, for example. Just because you can maintain your daily life doesn't mean your fine if you don't feel fine.

You said she doesn't see you as having a "psychiatric" diagnosis, does that just mean she doesn't think you need medication, or that she thinks there's nothing wrong with you? If she thinks there's nothing wrong with you, what is she treating you for?

[mindwrench]

I wonder how long that therapist has been practicing. Invalidating the patients complaints and descriptions of how they experience life seems quite careless in my opinion. It should be common knowledge to all in the MH field that appearances are not indicative of what a person is dealing with.

[ElectricManatee]

I'll pile on to say that I disagree completely with your therapist. There are diagnostic criteria for depression, and they don't include things like "can't get out of bed." I function quite well (married, employed, responsible for a household and pets, have friends, etc) but I have struggled with depressive episodes my whole life.

Possible trigger:

During college I was suicidal for distressingly long stretches of time but still maintained a job, friendships, and a 4.0 GPA.

Just because you can force yourself to do things doesn't mean your suffering doesn't matter.

People call persistent depressive disorder a "milder" form of depression, but it can still destroy your life if left untreated because it just keeps going on. Maybe check out some online screening tools if you're interested in a potential diagnosis. I really don't think you're a loser, but I do think that's the kind of logic a depressed brain would use.

[CrT0811]

Sounds like she needs some education herself on what depression is and is not. And...functionality has nothing to do with it!

I have worn many hats, most were prediagnoses. I was a wife then a single mother of two (albeit my kids barely survived that bit), microbiology research analyst in the Army for more than twelve years then worked in various labs for years after that...again undiagnosed. Since retiring from the medical field, I’ve been a successful fiction writer with numerous stand alone novels and series in various sub genres...all while unknowingly flobbing my way dealing with bipolar 1, anxiety, numerous phobias, and...the latest added moniker of high functioning autism...I promise you, it was NOT what most would call functional...but, I have one very important talent many don’t seem to possess. I can don a mask of normalcy at the drop of a hat. Don’t scratch the surface too deep and you would never suspect there was anything out of sorts with me. I can’t hold it for more than a day or so without needing to decompress for a few hours but I doubt I could do that any more. I’m out of practice. Since I made up my mind to seek professional help, I’ve been encouraged to just be what and who I am and it has helped me tremendously. It’s the main reason I stay with this psychologist. She knew the mask I wore was a big part of my problem.

Release What No Longer Serves You

Best advice I ever got.

So...what does that have to do with you? Could it be that you are trying to seem more “together” than you are? I get it. Who wants to admit to weakness? No one I know, that’s for sure. But, if we truly want help and know we can’t do it alone, we have to let go the reins. There’s a horse racing term, “letting her/him have his/her head”. It’s when the jockey eases off the reins completely and just lets the horse run as fast as she can till she wants to slow down herself. It’s something we all need to do. We need to be free to be who we are even when we think we might be broken and need help. You can’t fix something you don’t allow anyone to see.

Hope that helps

[nels13245]

Originally Posted by CrT0811

Sounds like she needs some education herself on what depression is and is not. And...functionality has nothing to do with it!

I have worn many hats, most were prediagnoses. I was a wife then a single mother of two (albeit my kids barely survived that bit), microbiology research analyst in the Army for more than twelve years then worked in various labs for years after that...again undiagnosed. Since retiring from the medical field, I’ve been a successful fiction writer with numerous stand alone novels and series in various sub genres...all while unknowingly flobbing my way dealing with bipolar 1, anxiety, numerous phobias, and...the latest added moniker of high functioning autism...I promise you, it was NOT what most would call functional...but, I have one very important talent many don’t seem to possess. I can don a mask of normalcy at the drop of a hat. Don’t scratch the surface too deep and you would never suspect there was anything out of sorts with me. I can’t hold it for more than a day or so without needing to decompress for a few hours but I doubt I could do that any more. I’m out of practice. Since I made up my mind to seek professional help, I’ve been encouraged to just be what and who I am and it has helped me tremendously. It’s the main reason I stay with this psychologist. She knew the mask I wore was a big part of my problem.

Release What No Longer Serves You

Best advice I ever got.

So...what does that have to do with you? Could it be that you are trying to seem more “together” than you are? I get it. Who wants to admit to weakness? No one I know, that’s for sure. But, if we truly want help and know we can’t do it alone, we have to let go the reins. There’s a horse racing term, “letting her/him have his/her head”. It’s when the jockey eases off the reins completely and just lets the horse run as fast as she can till she wants to slow down herself. It’s something we all need to do. We need to be free to be who we are even when we think we might be broken and need help. You can’t fix something you don’t allow anyone to see.

Hope that helps

Awesome read!

[littleblackdog]

Originally Posted by Erecura

Is it true that if you manage to function normally have a job, friends, love, family, manage to get up in the morning etc... You actually don't have a diagnosis?

Not at all. I am high functioning in that I get up every morning and go to work and nobody apart from my manager knows I have any MH problems.
But, I also have very severe depression, social anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder and a personality disorder.
That said, apparently because I still work I am not sick enough for a crisis team to come and help me

Possible trigger:

when I am suicidal

I wish I could just lie in bed and hide all day, but I can't. I am single and have nobody to support me and so I have to get out of bed, and get dressed and go to work, otherwise I don't get paid and I have a mortgage and bills to pay.

[SalingerEsme]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

I completely disagree with your T. I have generalized anxiety disorder, OCD, and recurrent major depression. I have a job (granted, it's working from home, but lots of deadlines), marriage, child, friends, and I get up every morning (even though I often don't want to). Yet even though I'm by many definitions "functional," these mental health issues affect my life every day. I'm sure I'd be functioning much better without them. Many things are a struggle for me. Yes, I might manage to do them, but that doesn't mean I'm completely fine and mental illness-free. If that's how your T defines things, I'm sorry, but I'd consider looking for a new T...

I agree with LT. I am outwardly a high achiever , and also have lots of personal relationships and friends( no kids though). Inwardly I struggle with OCD, panic disorder, and C-PTSD.

Over time in therapy, I learned about defenses and compartmentalization, and the complex/pathalogical ways we hide innermost anxiety and trauma in order to feel safe, uphold family systems etc.

Maybe there is more context around your T saying that to you but I also disagree with her vehemently.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

As others have already said, what she's saying is not really correct.
I can't talk for depression, I have BPD. My relationship is pretty normal, I have no problems in my professional life, I have friends. If you don't know me for years, you won't notice anything out of the ordinary. I can function perfectly fine if I need to. Yet, I struggle daily with for example tons of extreme mood swings. I don't let everyone know and can keep it together enough for them not to notice if it happens around people. But I still have a very real problem and meet almost all diagnostic criteria of the disorder, so I'm pretty sure I do have what my therapist has diagnosed me with.

[nottrustin]

Um many successful, high functioning, social people suffer from depression. I see it all the time in my work.

I have all that you mentioned: job, loving husband and family, many loving friends and I am very active socially. Only people I am very close to know that I struggle with Major depression and have SI because I have a mask to hide it all.

[mcl6136]

I'm not going to join the pile-on and for once around here, I am going to take the T's perspective and say that she might have been trying to bolster those parts of you that do remain so functional and help you to see your strengths.

I fit with most of this group in that I'm functional enough to hold down a complex job, have a social life, contribute in many ways to the community, *despite* ongoing depression and anxiety. So I get this response, but on the other hand, your T may just be unwilling to label you in such a way that the diagnosis becomes an albatross around your neck and something that shadows and holds you back. Maybe this T is trying to show you your strengths.

Just a thought.

It seems positive to me that your therapist doesn't think you have a disorder and is able to look beyond diagnostic labels.

What matters are your symptoms and feelings; how you manage your relationships with others; and your place in the world. A diagnosis doesn't make any of these things easier to navigate.

Some people in this thread are conflating difficult-to-manage feelings with a psychiatric disorder. It's a spectrum and not everyone falls within the diagnosable range, no matter how strangely validating some people seem to find that range.

I think your therapist sounds supportive.

[ArtleyWilkins]

A lot of us initially honed in on your question about depression and the phrase "high functioning," and went straight to the therapist doesn't know what she's talking about, but I think I'm seeing something else in your post.

From your initial post where you said "I asked my therapist, if she thinks that I have a depression or something else," you don't seem to know if you are depressed which may be a sign that you probably aren't, at least not to the extent that you would hold the diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder. Even those that are high functioning, generally know internally that they are depressed if it is severe enough and long-lasting enough to qualify for that diagnosis. You asked specifically about a depression diagnosis, and perhaps the reason your therapist was hesitant to apply that diagnosis is simply because, in your case, it doesn't quite fit.

What I noticed was this statement: "I have always felt like there's something really wrong with me. Like I am not... right and I have been dealing with tons of negative emotions and feelings of emptiness." That doesn't necessarily sound like depression. This could be ongoing problems with self-concept, lack of confidence, a feeling of not quite knowing what your goals are, or something along that line. I don't know that those would necessarily carry a psychiatric diagnosis (someone here might know). I think sometimes therapists default to a general diagnosis of adjustment disorder for less defined symptoms. Maybe that?

There is also a low-grade persistent depression referred to as dysthymia that you might want to read up on. That might also be descriptive of what you are experiencing.

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

A lot of us initially honed in on your question about depression and the phrase "high functioning," and went straight to the therapist doesn't know what she's talking about, but I think I'm seeing something else in your post.

I don't think your therapist was making a universal declaration but a statement about you. Assessing a level of functioning is always a part of DSM V diagnosing, so obviously being high functioning is relevant. I don't think it's as simple as you may have heard, but what I hear is a therapist resisting the urge to pathologize your struggles and instead of focusing on your strengths, which is your functioning. This is one way to start to build someone up. Maybe you don't need it but what difference does a disorder/label make in terms of what you have to work on?

You have the same things that cause you pain no matter what the diagnostic label is. And if your therapist says something that strikes you as wrong or you wonder about its validity, why not ask her (not saying it's wrong to post here)?

[BudFox]

Depression is not a diagnosis. It's an abstract state and abstract concept and a symptom of some deeper problem.. possibly psycho-social, possibly environmental, possibly biological, possibly spiritual.

A therapist cannot diagnose you with depression, because it's not an objectively verifiable condition or disease, and because therapists lack the knowledge to apply differential diagnosis in order to get to root causes and real diagnoses.

Things like GAD and MDD are arbitrary categories. You don't go from not depressed to depressed by crossing some make-believe threshold.

Depression has never been shown to be a biological condition, but having a mental health professional hand you a stigmatizing "diagnosis" is almost certain to alter your biochemistry, maybe for good, and might do far more harm than good.

I'd say if something feels not right, the goal should be to uncover the underlying cause, and to actively avoid psychiatric diagnoses. I think the therapist should do nothing more than listen and be supportive. Beyond that, they are likely in pseudoscientific and dangerous territory.

Being alive = empty feelings. It's called existential despair/angst/etc.

Originally Posted by Erecura

I have been in therapy for about half a year now and on our last session, I asked my therapist, if she thinks that I have a depression or something else. She told me that she doesn't think I have a depression, because people with this diagnosis see everything in the negative light and I can still manage to have some kind of hope and positive emotions, I only need the right help to guide me. She also told me that most people who suffer from depression find it difficult to even get out of bed and do simple tasks like taking a shower, while I can go to work and function normally.

I have to say it surprised me. I was wondering, if she sees something else in me, if it's not depression, is it possible I have something else? But she told me that she doesn't see me as a person with a psychiatric diagnosis, because I have a healthy relationship, a job and friends with whom I meet often, and all those things are usually huge trouble for those who actually suffer from a mental disorder.

On one hand, it helped me feeling better about myself, but on the other... I have always felt like there's something really wrong with me. Like I am not... right and I have been dealing with tons of negative emotions and feelings of emptiness. Her statement made me feel like ... I am just a weak loser who simply fails at life...

Is it true that if you manage to function normally have a job, friends, love, family, manage to get up in the morning etc... You actually don't have a diagnosis?

I don't think she is saying you don't have a diagnosis. She could be saying that your depression may be a symptom of something else.

I thought of dysthymia as mentioned by another poster, though that can be severe in terms of impact and functioning, especially since it can be so protracted. See if you can relate: dysthymia

Depression in the colloquial sense, can be a symptom of grief, intense disappointment, loss, PTSD, sense of self issues, and more. Clinical depression, I believe, often includes biological components such as change in hormones and sleep. The difference between the two concepts is noticeable to me, so I can related to your Ts view of this.

I'm not saying she is correct but that's how I would look at it.

Take care.

[weaverbeaver]

Originally Posted by Erecura

I have been in therapy for about half a year now and on our last session, I asked my therapist, if she thinks that I have a depression or something else. She told me that she doesn't think I have a depression, because people with this diagnosis see everything in the negative light and I can still manage to have some kind of hope and positive emotions, I only need the right help to guide me. She also told me that most people who suffer from depression find it difficult to even get out of bed and do simple tasks like taking a shower, while I can go to work and function normally.


I have to say it surprised me. I was wondering, if she sees something else in me, if it's not depression, is it possible I have something else? But she told me that she doesn't see me as a person with a psychiatric diagnosis, because I have a healthy relationship, a job and friends with whom I meet often, and all those things are usually huge trouble for those who actually suffer from a mental disorder.


On one hand, it helped me feeling better about myself, but on the other... I have always felt like there's something really wrong with me. Like I am not... right and I have been dealing with tons of negative emotions and feelings of emptiness. Her statement made me feel like ... I am just a weak loser who simply fails at life...


Is it true that if you manage to function normally have a job, friends, love, family, manage to get up in the morning etc... You actually don't have a diagnosis?

My t said something similar but my doctor diagnosed me with depression and put me in medication when I first started therapy about 8 years ago.
I went to work carried on with life as normal but inside I was dying a slow death, I couldn’t suppress my tears. They would just roll out as I was talking to people. I would say oh, it’s allergies or a cold.
I had no interest in anything and didn’t care whether I lived or died.
Depression comes in many different forms. Sounds like you do have depression and just because it looks differently and you still function doesn’t mean you don’t have it!
Please trust your own experience and knowledge of yourself because after all ours ts don’t know everything and nor do they know us as well as we know ourself.
I felt invalidated by my t insisting I didn’t have depression and felt like I was exaggerating or lying but when my doctor said he was extremely concerned and put me on medication he even advised I stop therapy because it wasn’t helping that really helped me.
Please do what is right for you.