Couch 183: Stroopwafel salted caramel.

Panda Express Fortune: You are inspirational.

Hmmm. I think not. Kit

Having trouble with visual hallucinations today. I think because I'm more depressed than usual. Sigh. Luckily work is not stressful today but this is bothering me a lot. Kit.

(((Atisketatasket)))

On Saturday, a friend called me a beast because I didn't want to see a "Frozen" show when we go to Disneyland (why? I have the movie, I would rather just ride the rides) and a brat because I have my Christmas cards mailed out. For whatever reason, this bothers me. Being called a beast and a brat hurts my feelings. Kit.

So sorry for the bad news, @@.

I’m so sorry @@

so sorry, @@.

Aww gee, so so sorry ATAT. Hugs and more hugs.

ATAT - sorry to hear about j.c.
It is very hard to lose them.

I don’t exactly know what happened.

I got home, new cat greeted me frantically, then I found him. Vet guessed a seizure of some kind or a heart issue.

Now new cat is huddled in a corner of my closet looking terrified and I am sitting on the floor talking to her as soothingly as possible.

((@@)) I'm so sorry.

Poor new kitty. I'm sorry @@.

All hail Stopdog!

Oh @@. Im so sorry.

No other clues? Gas leak, antifreeze, frayed electrical cord? I hope you guys are both safe.

I'm similar with self-disclosure. A part of me loves it. My T used to rarely give me anything. This has changed over the past year and I now get much more from him although still all well within good boundaries. I don't know if it's a technique, a change of approach or if he just finds himself more relaxed with me and lets things slip a little easier. When he does it I enjoy it. I want to know more but I find myself almost not knowing what to say in response. I don't want to ask questions for fear he will stop giving anything. I want to respond but find I end up just changing the subject which is so not how I would be in the outside world. It's a really weird scenario and confusing.

So sorry about your cat (((atat))))).

aw man, i am so sorry. this was sudden?
ugh, those would hurt my feelings too.

Hm, interesting--how long have you been seeing your T? Mine seems to have started giving little bits of self-disclosure on occasion (certainly not every session) once I hit maybe 9 months or so (though some of that was twice a week). I also wondered if he'd become more comfortable with me. He also mentioned to me months ago how sometimes with clients he's been seeing longer, it's like he can momentarily sort of forget that it's a T-client relationship and be talking to them more like a friend for a bit, then catch himself and go back to his T role. So I wonder if some of that could have happened here (and at other random times). Especially because we were discussing something that we have in common.

And I know exactly what you mean about wanting to ask more but fearing then he'd realize what he was doing and stop. Part of me also thought I could have talked next session about how his self-disclosure made me feel, the mix of feelings, but again, then I'm kind of afraid he'd be like "Oops!" and stop doing it. So, yes, definitely confusing...

My GYN finally called me about my endometrial biopsy results and it's cancer. A total hysterectomy should resolve the issue and I shouldn't need radiation or chemo but of course I'll have to wait and see. Bad news day on the couch.

I'm so sorry...but good if you might not need radiation or chemo.

So sorry. I sure hope the problem will end with the hysterectomy

Same! I have so often thought about bringing up how I feel when he discloses. How I like getting tidbits and want to respond like a normal person would but feel I am unable. I am afraid of bringing it up will make him realise that he hadn't been meaning to do it. I mean in reality he might well be aware of what he is doing and it is part of the approach or whatever but still.

(((MobiusPsyche)))

How awful!

((MP))

that is really terrible, i'm so sorry. how are you doing?