Couch 183: Stroopwafel salted caramel.

How do you feel about him not confirming either way?

Could you go with your gut feeling for now? You could always change your mind

Thank you for replying NP.

I'm going to see him on tuesday.

Thank you for the reply. I feel like he was being honest, and he didn't blame everything on me.

I honestly hope to be more like you Artie.

I feel kinda weird about it. Honestly (and I mentioned this in session), it makes me think a bit of the ex-MC wife situation (where she was sick--which I eventually found out about--and later passed away). Which was really difficult for me. He said he doesn't want me to worry about his son, that if he gave me more info, I might be inclined to ask about him, etc., because I'm nice. And he doesn't want to take up session time for that. Of course I said I already think of him...

I just asked him to put me on schedule for Wednesday. I have a feeling I'll want to process some stuff. He just requires 24 hours notice for cancellation, so if Monday evening/Tuesday morning (since session is Wed. morning) I'm thinking I want more time, can always cancel.

Also, that seemed like a really good, caring email from your T. How are you feeling about it?

Partly because it's unusual for him to offer something like this. It feels really nice that he offered. Partly because of what we've been talking about this week. We've been discussing my tendency to hint at things with people instead of coming right out and saying what I mean or asking for what I want and what purpose it serves for me. I do this with him more than I should, so we discussed that. He talked about me wanting to be seen and having someone see my needs without having to ask and having my needs met which made me break down and cry. Him offering me this session today feels like he is seeing my needs (we talked about some really painful stuff yesterday) and it just feels so weird to have that happen. I hope that makes sense.

UGH.

The coffee maker is taking foreeeeeeever.
A watched pot has nothing on this watched coffee maker.

Update on day 6 of getting rid of the flatmate= She's gone for the weekend!

I realized that she couldn't run down to complain about me if the office hours were closed. On a friday that's 11am. I waited to cook fish after that, when I came in from surgery. She gave me her kryptonite xD

Totally makes sense to me.
You are singing my song.


NP, your t sounds lovely and kind. I'm glad you've got him in your corner.

Have you all tried just talking to each other rather than going through this sort of elaborate indirect torture of each other?

Do you have a filter or one of those pod machine things? You could use <<instant coffee>>.



I was actually looking at fancy coffee makers online a few days ago.

Yep previously, I tried to get on with her but that was before she complained about me for the second time without talking to me first. Now it's just waiting to see who will crack and move out first.

All of it makes sense. It's nice of to him to offer and I think you're making great progress

Or he's trying to pay for his next vacation. Bad brain. Don't go there.

It's hard not to go there though isn't it? Man. Hugs

I can understand that he doesn't want to take away your therapy time, but by saying don't think about the giant pink rabbit = you automatically think of the giant pink rabbit. But if his child isn't on the spectrum do you think where you are right now, would he be less likely to understand you?

Re me: I'm glad he took the time to write to me properly and just didn't rush it.

Is this an extra one or part of your normal three?



Close your eyes. picture him in your head and trust your first gut instinct. Sometimes that works- don't trust the thoughts that don't build you up but try to bring you down instead.

It's extra. You're right, my gut instinct was that he offered because he cares and he knows I've been struggling lately. And a little bit of maybe he enjoys working with me.

Thank you. Session went well, it was actually nice ans comforting seeing him 4 times this week. I don't expect it to become a regular thing, but part of me hopes it could for the rest of the holiday season. Which wouldn't happen anyway because Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve both fall on a Monday, so I'll automatically only have 2 sessions unless he's gone the rest of the week.

DH got sent home from work and is upset thinking he's going to be fired. His boss has been a jerk lately but said see you tomorrow. So who knows. He put in an application at a different job just in case.

That's almost enough to make me join stopdog in the library.
(I deliberately did not use the eek! emoji so that maybe she will let me in.)

No pods. My coffee maker is so fancy it has a timer that I could set in the evening so that my coffee would be ready when I get out of bed in the morning, but the timer is a pita to set. Instead each morning I stand pathetically next to the gurgling coffee maker with cup in hand trying not to whimper or fall asleep.

i never did develop a taste for coffee. just as well i suppose! i do need my fresh-brewed iced tea every morning though!!

i'm working on my last homework assignment for currents stats class. It's not making me pull my hair out like ANOVA did. This last chapter is about Chi squares. It's kind of interesting. In the way that I'm just ready to be done with this class. Heh.

Americans have molasses, which is not quite the same thing but fills a similar niche.

Next semester I'm taking a Poetry writing class. It doesn't start until March though, so this is a good thing, since our 54-58 hour weeks at work are currently projected to continue through February....

ok back to my homework with me!

Ex-MC's wife was totally the pink rabbit for a while there. Different situation of course, but still...

We actually discussed this first part today--do I feel that a therapist needs to experienced what I have in order to understand it? It was an interesting discussion. He said of course he hasn't experienced everything that his clients have. But through almost 20 years of experience plus training, he feels that he "gets it" for most of what his clients talk about. And he said it can actually be more difficult for him to be objective if it's something he's personally experienced because then he's filtering it through his own experience somewhat rather than just focusing on the client's description of their feelings and experiences. Which I found to be interesting (and think may have been an issue at times with ex-MC, who also has an anxiety disorder, like me).

Which secret library is SD a member of?!?

Oh I know the effect that those two words can have on people. Oh that sounds lovely. Perhaps start it wander around/ shower and voila coffee is ready. Or you could buy ready made iced iced Coffee.