Couch 188: Who needs those people, anyway?

Some amusing and/or random things from my dream last night about a session with T:
-I was wearing leopard-print pants and shoes with a different leopard print on them (Info inspired?)

-A middle school friend asked if she could wait with me in T's office while she waited for her therapist to be ready (this was during my session time). I agreed.

-T said her therapist was probably watching the end of the soccer game and then turned on the game on a TV that appeared in his office
-I then realized T was wearing a bright yellow hoodie for one of the teams

-A few other T's wandered in to watch the end of the game, as I was getting annoyed
-T handed me a newspaper to read, and in it, he'd left a post-it note to himself, saying what the topics were on Oprah and Dr. Phil that day as well as "I need to watch more TV shows like Frasier and Columbo." Which was amusing

-He had a calendar on the wall and my session was listed (by my first name). For the previous Friday, he'd written [Ex-MC's first name's] blind date. I felt awkward about that.
-He had to fix some Star Wars exhibit he had in his office
-We finally had a few minutes alone to talk
-Then a few high school friends arrived (one who I was never really friends with) to wish me a happy birthday, and they were putting something on my head
-T had me sign a waiver saying it was OK for them to be in office (what about all the other people in there earlier???)
-Then I think it was end of session.

So...yeah...hopefully my session this morning won't be like that!

Uggh this is a long old day but I managed to keep self off distraction ie this forum till now. Long term reality is sinking in and I'm weary. Keep well everyone.

we are expecting bitter cold temps, tons of businesses and schools closed. its like 30 below tomorrow. I'm staying in lol

The therapist is 59 and she appears to know what a forum is. However, I sent her a link to my "mean face" post last week, and when I had my session later that week, she referred to it as a screenshot. That was a bit concerning, but I think maybe she took a screenshot of it herself*, and later forgot that what I sent was not a screenshot. At least, I hope this is the explanation for her choice in terminology.

*I have previously sent her a link of a post on reddit and subsequently deleted it so she couldn't hold it over my head

Didn't T point out that you were wearing two different floral prints last session? Wonder if it relates to that?

What? That's rude!

What LT's T said? I think he meant it in a complimentary way didn't he LT? You responded that you didn't do it on purpose, right?

Yes, what he said. Wearing two different floral prints is considered a fashion faux pas (not that I am criticizing, the only clothes of mine that currently fit are sweats).

Oh good point!

He seemed to mean it in a complimentary way. I had floral rain boots then my shirt was mostly black with a couple small floral stripes on the sleeves. He's pretty fashionable, and it sounded more like a compliment/observation than criticism. He's complimented my shoes and necklaces before, and I think a cardigan once (not in like a "that looks good on you" way because that might be weird, but in a "oh those are cool shoes" kinda way). Though I tend to avoid wearing distressed jeans in there because a couple times he's joked "Things so bad you have holes in your jeans?" Even though it's obviously intentional.

ETA: And yeah the rain boots were just something I decided to wear at the last minute.

LT - What a nightmare! Did you have pizza for dinner last night too?

Pasta with parmesan, olive oil, and Italian herbs, so, close!

Hi everybody! How is everyone. I'm okay. I'm tired and sleepy and don't really want to be at work, but hey, OT today because my boss wanted me here early (for what reason IDK) I have T tonight which I am sort of looking forward to and sort of not. I hope we aren't going to do more eye movement stuff because all it does is make me dissociated. I went to Disneyland on Saturday by myself. I just went for 5 hours and then came home. I had fun though. I did some rides that I usually don't do when I'm there with friends. I ate at Bengal Barbeque which I love but no one ever wants to eat at and did some shopping. I got home around 3 PM and took a nap. Yesterday I went to Church but I wasn't feeling well at all so I slept some and watched TV and then my Dad went to the store and got me some OTC medicine which finally helped. It feels like the weekend was too short. I'm not ready to be back at work. I wish I was at home sleeping with my kitties. I woke up this morning to Amelia being in bed with me and she was all lovey-dovey and cute and wanting to play. It was nice. Hope everyone is having a good day. Hugs to anyone who wants one! Kit

I am seeing a therapist tomorrow, the only one of 3 who replied. I even tried a female but no reply. I'm planning to go in and just be open with "I think I'm in love with him" and talk about everything I'm feeling about this, including the sex dreams. I literally don't care this time, it's such a great feeling going in with no anxiety or care. I just wanna vent.

I've kept everything in since he told me on the last Tues of Nov... not a single thing has been spoken by me out loud to anyone, but him, about it. It will be nice to vent. I'm not bringing my dog. Nothing the same as before, I need it 100% different or I'll flee instantly.

We will see, I'm not thrilled at all but my head hurts so much right now. Thankfully my surgery is in 2 weeks so it will require a several week break anyway. He also doesn't do emails, it says on his website, wahoo! I love that.

I hope the appointment goes well!

My boss is driving me crazy today. IDK why. She just keeps asking me questions that I think are obvious. I think I'm grouchy because usually this stuff doesn't bother me but today I'm like, grrr. Trying to keep the irritation out of my voice because my boss is really a sweet lady. But today, she's bothering me. Sigh. Kit

Well, the results are in on my shoulders. C went to see the PA, who has forbidden upper body activities of any kind for the time being. She seems to think the dog walking job has prevented the yoga injuries from healing.

I am compiling a list of all those who scoffed and/or laughed when I said yoga broke my shoulders! So far I have my father and the therapist down on the list.

Was catching up with someone online

Me "Sorry I have been pretty sick for a few days, not really doing much online"

Her "It's ok, Are you better? Is it the flu?"

Me "No, not that sick, mental sick. I've not been well mentally"

Her... Awkward silence....

Ha well I tried honesty.... I guess it's not everyone's cup of tea?

i think a lot of people just don't know how to respond to that kind of honesty.

I took Info’s advice and tried to dance with new cat.

It’s hard to waltz when one partner is squirming like a canful of fishing worms.

Plus, she wanted to lead.

I can’t wait to hear info’s next suggestion.

I played hooky today. I ran a few errands, did a little exercise and took a afternoon nap. I should probably not play hooky again tomorrow if I want to keep my job.

Well...onward..I guess.

I am so tired. I only got 4 1/2 hours of sleep last night. Today was my oldest daughter's 4th Birthday. Had T tonight and only told him about a disturbing dream I had on Friday night, which led into a discussion about Friday's session. Didn't tell him what I really should talk about. Didn't ask about scheduling 4 days a week now like we taljed a bit about last week. Now I have to wait until Wednesday evening and I doubt he'll have any openings for Thursday that I could do at the last minute. I'm frustrated with myself. Frustrated and tired.

Ugh up at 3am due to being on Prednisone for an asthma flare-up. Regular doc is out of town so went to urgent care - I was actually impressed. The doc listened when I told her what usually works for my asthma and what doesn't - and she prescribed what does work so I feel much better but due to the meds am not sleeping.

Forgot to add: When I picked up my Rx from the pharmacy I also bought Vicks Vapor Rub. I put some on my chest last night and was working in my office when Husband wandered in.

H: Are you smoking pot?
Me: Uh no, I just had a major asthma flare and in the 25 years you've known me have I ever smoked pot?
H: It smells like pot in here
Me: It's Vicks Vapor Rub
H: Sniffs me - it still smells like pot