Couch 188: Who needs those people, anyway?

Sounds like good news so far. Continuing wishes for good results.

DP--could you see if the later T could see you a different day? Otherwise, maybe still see both?

Glad to hear it! Hope pathology report is clean as well!

The only other day he had was Valentine's which is surgery day

I could take a uber and keep Thurs slot but I really don't wanna pay that much extra for a session that's only 50 min.

I'm just wondering how 2 a day would be and I feel annoying asking for other options, I gave him my free days and all he said was Monday at 10 so I'm assuming thats all he had. Last time he gave me three choices. Sigh... stupid winter and surgery

I’m glad the surgery went well.

So one of the new T's I contacted wrote back and I gave her more info on situation, that it was about trying to figure out if I should stay with my current T, that he's helpful in many ways, but we keep having conflicts about the relationship. I asked if she felt comfortable helping with that. She said she did...and has availability this week. I already had 3 sessions last week and worry my insurance would freak (as in, trigger an audit) if I had 3 this week, too. Do I consider seeing her and canceling T? Or do I just tell her that I can see her in 2 weeks? (Or possibly next week if session with T is bad this week.)

I want to see T ASAP and talk this through. However, he has this way of, if I'm upset with him, kind of pulling me back in and being very caring and reassuring about the relationship. I worry I'll get sucked back in without really addressing some of the issues, and then maybe I won't even want to see a different T. Yet, it would also be good to talk through the issues.

But then maybe it would help if I canceled with T to give me a little distance, then saw potential new/consultation T this week? (She even has an opening as early as tomorrow due to a cancellation.)

Thoughts?

I am so old I don't really know what tinder is - a dating site I take it?

Yes. It’s a dating site.

It’s a hookup site. People post their pics and you scroll through—swipe left if not attracted, right if attracted and then you can contact the person.

It’s only caused a few murders so far.

Yours is better than mine!

OK, asked consulting T for session tomorrow, then emailed T and canceled for Thursday, saying "I need some time to think" (because otherwise he'd have probably offered me 5 other time options!) and am a bit weepy right now but also feel I did the right thing. (And consulting T had a couple other options this week if she's already scheduled the one for tomorrow.)

I had been seeing my therapist for several months at 3x/week before they contacted me and him to say they would only cover once a week. I think there was a phone call between my therapist and the insurance company at some point but he was unable to convince them to cover three, or even two, sessions a week. I'm sure the policies at each insurance company are different, but maybe a few weeks of three times won't trigger anything with them.

You seem curious to explore your options. Maybe go see the new T this week and if you can still keep your appt with current T do that too? You're not committing to anything with a consulting T, just testing the waters.

I wanted to take the dog out for one more short walk tonight but I just read on the local town page that someone saw a dog running loose. The spotting is very close to where I live. Now I’m afraid to take my dog out because I don’t know how my dog would react if the lost dog running around approaches us.

Over these past two ts, it sounds like what you really want is to feel special to someone. I would look for a child psychologist - thats what finally worked for me - and concentrate your own research there. Or just find an online friend?

Thanks, I remember that story with your insurance, which sucks... I do use out-of-network, not in-network benefits, but they're still reimbursing me $105 per session (60%), which is a fair amount. Basically I pay T up front, then submit claim, they reimburse me. Not sure if yours was in network or not. I'm going to see new T and then...if I have regrets about not seeing current T, he tends to have openings available, so I imagine I could reschedule with him. The issue is, the time with new T would be after 24-hour cancellation window, so figured better to just cancel now. I don't even know if this T might be available for more than consulting, but she's apparently trained in attachment therapy, so I'm thinking her perspective could help me. Though I think she mainly works with children/teens. Hm...I seem to be drawn to T's who focus on teens, not sure what's up with that. She seems fairly young though, which will hopefully keep potential maternal transference issues at bay.

Funny, was just replying to NP's post saying that her main focus is children/teens with attachment issues. So...maybe she will work for me? Ex-MC and current T focus on teens, incidentally. Ex-T saw some kids (had basket of toys in her office), but not main focus.

He's in-network for me. He did quit taking new clients with my insurance, probably because their reimbursement rates seem kind of low (he gets $92.50/session total; I was paying him $120 out-of-pocket previously), but he's still submitting claims for me and, I assume, any other existing clients with that insurance.

No, I wouldn't say that.
I didn't expect much and I didn't get much, but it was better than not going.

PS:
In a way it was like going to a funeral.

I really feel like i cant go back UNTIL. Until ive made some changes in my life. Which im doing. Slow by slow. But still doing.

"These are a few of my favourite things."

Not nearly as many as the telephone.

I was just looking at a photo of the Speaker of the House and I realized: Info’s had work done.

I don’t know why I am even slightly surprised.

One of the few women I was looking at (she's at the same place the guy for Monday is at but she was booked for the next few weeks) had attachment training and was younger, I don't get easily attached but I figure that from that training, she could understand WHY I was to T and am struggling so much so she's my top try post surgery if the others don't work.

Good luck

OK, jealous of the rates your T charges, but we live in a pricey area for T's...My regular one (a PhD) is $175, insurance reimburses 60% of that. The one I'm seeing tomorrow though--she's only charging $155 for a 1.5 hour session, then her regular rate is $130 for 50 minutes--I guess the advantage of seeing an LCSW instead of psychologist (ex-T, also LCSW, was cheaper too--ex-MC, also PhD, was same rate as current T).

Got home from L a little bit ago. We had a really good talk, I updated her on my son and school and shared with her the realizations I'd had over the past couple of months about my therapy, and that only took about half hour or so, so she asked if i'd had any dreams... i purposely hadn't brought my notebook because I didn't want to GO there dammit, but of course y'all know me I can't turn down working on dreams with her so I told her a couple from memory and we discussed them for the rest of the time. It was good. But I don't want to go back-back, so I didn't even ask, not that I could anyway since she'd said last time she wouldn't be able to do therapy with me again. It just took up too much energy that I've really been enjoying putting into my 'real' life the past couple of months and I told her that today. That I'd been enjoying that. Not to mention my relationship with h is better without the constant bickering about me spending money on therapy. I didn't mention that. He and I are planning a trip next week for our anniversary. Anyway I'm glad I called her this morning and went and shared what I wanted to share. It felt good to tell her those things.