Couch 189: The Oxford Couch

I'm doing my job and my bosses job and I still have time to post on PC. Hmmm. That kind of makes me feel bad for the owner. He's paying two people to do one job and there's still time left over. It also makes me wonder what my boss does all day. I already know what I do all day and maybe 1/4th of it is work. Oh well. It's donut Friday at work!!! Kit

It's the little things that make me happy. Kit

Fighting the urge to call t just to hear her voice.

Artie - could you maybe ask her to record a message for you?

In a real Leonard Cohen funk.

Had an impromptu meeting with the owner, but it went well. Took up some time too! Kit

I had a breakdown coming home from work. No matter how hard I work or try I keep doing idiotic things it seems and it keeps coming around to me and I feel I can't win. I feel so ashamed of myself and am tired of feeling shame. My H doesn't give a flying **** as to why I am like this. Still hasn't asked. The implicit message is under no circumstances should I quit. Instead of us working like adults, and figuring something else out. But I feel so ashamed because of who I am, but more about who I will never be, This time I am going to be clear, I am going to take off on family leave . My P doc will write the note. I just can't keep killing myself like this. . I think, for some reason I sometimes feel compelled for my T to write me a note, but I don't feel that now. I more hope he will help me through this. I don't want him to be disappointed with me. All I know is that I can't go on like this, I just can't.
What I hope from my T is that he will see that this wise part of me is leading me in the quitting direction. But really, I am waiting for myself to listen to myself, and I know I have to do this. I majorly want my T to help me with this path, because this is my path. I don't want to lose my T. Or anyone else, I hope I find my way.

There was an active shooter in my city this afternoon... 5 civilians dead but they haven’t released the names. I’m praying it’s nobody I know but either way, it’s tragic. I’ve never seen so many police officers, ambulances, swat team etc. in my life.

Good to know that the writing letters approach helped you, too. And I know exactly what you mean about the being in a spiral and waiting periods go out the window, though--that's what happened to me two Mondays ago, when after the T session I just couldn't stop crying. So I sent a rambling email, and T didn't understand what I was looking for. If I had given it more of a waiting period, I probably could have had a better sense of what I was feeling and what I needed from him (or perhaps could have avoided the email entirely). But I just felt so bad that I wanted some kind of relief/support (though didn't really end up with what I was looking for, because what I was looking for wasn't clear).

i heard about that, so sad and scary! I'm am so glad you are safe and I'm hoping the best for those you know. stay strong

I do not understand the urge to convince someone to keep seeing a therapist when they quit.

I'm very close and I went to high school there - also waiting for the names to be released

The animals are going batshit crazy tonight because of the weather. The cats are crying at all the doors (because it could be warm and dry outside of one of them) and the dogs are bonking off the walls.
They can handle cold but the wet snow ice is wearing on us all.

I ****ing hate those people. Sometimes I find reading here like they describe people who bond with their kidnappers or torturers and defend and protect their methods. ********. And those people get paid to treat clients like idiots.
The only good part is that I am so worked up that I will have a field day with the therapist I will be examining in court next week.

Honestly i cant read half of these threads anymore.

Oh wow, I’m so sorry you’re nearby all this too. It feels all too real when it’s literally just down the street.

Thank you DP<3 they still haven’t released the victims’ names

For what it's worth, I write my journal to my T.

I'm currently sitting in urgent care with my 4 year old because she's been spiking fevers and won't drink. Testing her for the flu. My youngest daughter also started spiking a fever today too. T is going on vacation all next week so I won't see him for 10 days. I had a consult for my tattoo today. They can't do it over a scar I have.

Regarding the tattoo - the point is that in a year or so it might be doable, if you continue to reopen it, there isn't much of a chance of the tattoo.

Btw - there is some plastic surgery techniques that might be able to address the scar to the point that it can take a tattoo, if the tattoo artist still thinks a tattoo will not work there after a year.

I hope your daughters do not have the flu. It can be scary these days. hugs

Haha, can I get the transcript?

Don't give up the idea of tattooing on that area. I tattooed over many of my SH scars, and honestly, it's what got me to finally stop SH'ing. I love my tattoos. I, too, had to wait for some of them to heal more. One I had to wait 6 months.

Thank you. This particular one has been healed for about 2 1/2 years now. I've never messed with it since the original but it healed really badly.

Thank you. I'm opting for a different placement of the tattoo. The design is more important than the location. It just frustrates me since it's been healed almost 2 1/2 years now. I apparently bite at healing.

And no flu but she does have RSV. We got discharged and now back at home trying to keep her comfortable and hydrated.

Hmmm. Is it still healing? There are some otc creams for scars. Maybe get a second opinion? And make sure your artist is experienced with tattooing scars.