Couch 189: The Oxford Couch

I bet sd abhors pop tarts.

Me tooo.

I've seen them in the big Tesco's but never tried them.

Where is she?!?

I never tried any of the fruit flavored or BSC ones but maybe I should? I only ever ate the chocolate type ones and the newer strawberry milkshake.


LT

I was also thinking, don't restaurants give out 3 crayons for kids menus? What colors are those? LOL

This makes soooo much sense. I think I'll try it. There's something I've been avoiding talking to him about and it's been in my head for a while.

What L said yest that I just processed was something along those lines, about me coming in there yest all happy and smiling and then telling her what I did and crying. I want to email her now that I was happy and I still am because of understanding myself so well for once, and because I could come in yest and share it, but it wasn't an easy thing so I got emotional, and she of all people should know that I am emotional! Just because I cry doesn't necessarily mean I am sad or bereft. I might just be having strong feelings... CouId she really have forgotten that about me after 2 months?? Maybe she did. I dunno.

Go for it. My T wasn't the best T (even at his own admission) but he had a lot of good things that worked and this was one of them. Yes we had that time when he got angry with me at the end of my session and we briefly talked about it but then we hugged and he texted me after etc... I didn't leave feeling 100% ****** and unresolved, I knew we were ok, I just had to process things.

The notes were a life saver for me in therapy though. Not that we did much therapy work overall anyway but I would have had even less, had I never used notes

I used notes Tues and yest, pretty much read straight from them so I wouldn't miss anything. I did look up at her a lot though while reading. She looks older somehow than 2 months ago.

Think I just wasted the T's time.I don't think I'm going to see him. He was honest and said that he had very little experience with BPD.

I'm sorry I haven't seen all your posts but is this a new T or long term? If long term, that's kinda sad he waited so long to tell you this.

Hopefully you can find one, I've heard its a hard thing for finding a T who's willing to work with it, for some reason

He's not new per se, I just emailed him today and we exchanged two long emails! If I'm being honest I think I'm just trying to replace current T with someone else .

R has bucket loads of experience but I still drive him crazy! The new stage were I stopped fighting him didn't last very long, max two sessions maybe. There was this line on a TV show where it was like I can rely on X, and I agreed in my head yes I could rely on R and I feel like just saying that flipped a switch in my head. Nope push him away again.

Has he said you drive him crazy or do you assume you do? I know I assume alot of things that are not true

Also wondering this, as I do the same. Like I said to T yesterday that he must be frustrated with me, that he's trying to give me what I ask for, then I am often not satisfied or just want more. Or how I seem to get upset with him for unclear reasons. He said he's not frustrated, just concerned that therapy could be negatively affecting my outside life, like I'm using that energy for therapy instead of other things I could be doing and enjoying. Which made a lot of sense. I think I was partly projecting frustration onto him because *I'm* frustrated with myself. So maybe that's a component here, Lemon? That you're kind of driving yourself crazy with this, so think you must be driving him crazy, too?

My T used to say whenever I'd say things like that such as "You must be sick of me" or "I bet you really dread the sessions with me" He would remind me "You don't get to decide how I feel. Only I do. Just like I can't tell you how you feel about anything."

It really helped me work through that and finally get to a point where I really believed he cared and I mattered. I just went with it, I didn't question things anymore. However now it all feels fake but that's a whole different issue.

He laughed and called me "his biggest headache". Said that sometimes therapy with me was like pulling his hair out and that I dragged him to the depths of despair.

We recently made new rules together, and he pointed out that I broke 3 of them within the first week.

I used to skip sessions (I haven't since December).

I over emailed this week ,but he will only reply back to one email, but I have emailed before to tell him that I hated him and emailed him 5 times in a row just to irritate him.

I threatened to quit every third week and have officially done 5 time now .



And that's not including all the info I found and told him about, which included googling his mother.

But I think because I have done all of that, I know he's in it for the long haul and I'm lucky to have him. I like feeling closer to him, but at the same time it's still too much.

Has he helped you at all with working on those issues so they don't feel as intense for you? That might be a good plan to try.

It's good you have been honest about it all with him as well as him sticking around

I cannot wait to get out of this university. It is filled with egotistical therapists/lecturers who are completely lacking in compassion. I pity these people's clients I really do.

All of my anger that I've expressed at him, so far is just because I'm angry at myself for going back to the house again, especially after Christmas- but I just wanted comfort, I mainly went because I wanted to see him in person, because I forgot what he smelt like. The last day that I was there my father was swearing at me and I cried in the car. And as usual R was stupid and nice which I can't stand. He tells me that I'm special and that I have value and he's said it so many times that I started believing him too.



The contrast is just so strange.

Are you in your final year?

Can you make an anonymous compliant or provide anonymous feedback to the head of the university?

I know that I have made progress with him. He taught me that anger is okay. I got out a relationship I wasn't happy with. He taught me to stand up for myself and to say no and also my grades jumped.

It's just the typical the transference is way too painful.

Thanks guys. I'm going to copy the text I posted and show R.

is it just me or did the "thanks" option vanish for you guys too?

It's a daily mail article but proves a point that was raised here previously. What's wrong with the map?

Ikea is ridiculed after customers notice a VERY obvious mistake | Daily Mail Online

I have to stop coming to the site in my sleep. Last night was the 2nd time in a week where I thought I posted something bad and there is no post.

Are you on a phone or laptop. It's still here for me.