needing T. too weak for detail.

i dont really have the energy to write the whole story, but basically i'm having a really rough time and i was supposed to see T tomorrow morning. she called and said her nanny for her son mentioned to her she's not feeling well, so if she calls out then my T cant make session. she said she didn't want to risk cancelling so we should just wait till monday. im devastated, because i really needed her. she told me she'd call me in the morning if the nanny doesn't call out and she is able to make it, and she said if that's not the case she will call me in the afternoon to see how im doing. she sorta has a history of saying she will try to call and doesn't. this time i really don't know if i can take that. if i have to wait till monday AND she never calls like she said i'll be even more devastated. i was lost for words on the phone tonight but my tone of voice i think was able to express my need for her. i wish i could have just bursted into tears right then.

the whole thing about me asking what happened to her wrist will have to wait until this specific thing with me blows over, or at least until we have that session i need. i hope she does call. i really really hope she does, i need it. i'll probably update tomorrow on whether she does or not..

Ok. We'll hope for good health all the way 'round.

I know you are curious about your therapist, patients can be either self concerned only, overly concerned about their T, or a blend of both. Please trust your T to have self care measures in place, including someone they talk with when things get tough for them (a colleague perhaps.)

Therapy should be focused on you, and not the T. Why put her in any position to have to think about what words she might say, just so not to offend you but to let you know she's ok? How about just asking a generic question of something along the lines of, "Are you ok?" or "How are you?" and accept whatever she offers.

Now, if you want to focus on you (like she wants to) you could relate your own struggles with self harm and how seeing her bandage this last week triggered you... that would be a good segway into discussing better behavior for yourself.

((((hugs)))) I hope you do call her tomorrow, and not wait for her to remember in her busy schedule. You need to talk with her, if only for 5 minutes. So just plan on calling her, why not?

Krazibean, let us know what's happening today, if she calls this morning to "uncancel" or not. I would think she would call all her clients on a day she's just at home unexpectedly. What time was your session scheduled for? I bet she calls then.

if she would have uncanceled she would have done it by now. i think she doesn't work very long on fridays so i was her only client for the day anyway... we were scheduled for 10. but that was because i was willing to skip class for it. since its not gonna happen i'm going to class so if she calls then i won't be able to answer it. i really hope she calls me later to talk. i'll let you know...

thanks for the interest, perna.

I'm glad you're going to class. That will help you, give you other things to think about besides your probs.

If she doesn't call, I'd call around 3 and leave a message, "Hey, I thought you said you were going to give me a call; I could really use one!" Impress the heck out of her and feel better about yourself and your ability to look after yourself.

SHE. NEVER. CALLED. i didn't call her either. why do some T's do that? they say they will call and then they don't. asdfjdslfjsadkghsdjkg

maybe i'm over reacting. maybe she'll call over the weekend. maybe i should call her... don't say you're gonna call and then 90% of the time you don'ttttt

(((((((((((krazibean))))))))))))

I'm sorry she didn't call krazibean. I'm sorry your session got canceled when you needed it so much. I hope Monday comes quickly for you.
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
krazibean said:
why do some T's do that? they say they will call and then they don't.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Well, I can't make excuses for your T, but with my T, who is a guy who is really bad on the phone, rarely returns a call, and doesn't call when he says he will, I think he truly forgets. He is ADD and organizationally, it shows. It was only last month he had to ask me what my last name was and I've been seeing him for over a year. I believe when we are in session and he tells me he will call me, he really does intend to, but he just forgets. I try not to take it personally, because I imagine he is equally forgetful and unreliable with all his clients. During our sessions together, in his room, he is simply the best, so I am very forgiving about the phone calls. I've learned to treasure him despite this flaw and take it with a grain of salt when he says he'll call.