Dear T: I really need to tell you something XL

Well ex-T I dont know how to feel I am an emotional maelstrom. Thank you very much.

Hey ex-t. So far so good I am talking thru my anxiety about having surgery with my family and friends and it's really helping. I think I'll make it thru this without you. I am practicing everything you taught me.

ex-t!!! (a little sad to see that for some reason, haha)

I had the same reaction!

Dear p-doc,
I really don't feel like seeing you today. Please don't interrogate me on the drinking thing--I'm not in the greatest place right now after yesterday's session with Dr. T. And I imagine you'll be reluctant to let me try any different med unless I stop that. But I am making progress in that area, it's just slow-going and not necessarily linear. and I'm making progress in lots of other areas, like the walking and yoga. And in relationships. And Dr. T says I'm dong better at handling my emotions (maybe a little less so last night). I just don't want all the focus to fall on alcohol.

LT

T, please write me back. Please don’t ignore my email...

Missing you!!! Nothing else needs to be said.

I'm just waiting here for for you to come back. I told you not to reply to my emails unless I begged you and I was so close to breaking down last night. I had a real ****** day yesterday and wanted to hear your voice, I want to know you're still there. You're on vacation, you deserve at least one week without hearing from me. I hate being this needy, but I'm thankful you're so patient with me.

Dear T,
Please reply before I have my p-doc appointment...
Love,
LT

Dear T,
I appreciate your taking time to reply (though I have to pay for it), but I really don't know how I feel about what you said. I'm worried we could be at an impasse. (And this was not the impasse I was expecting...) Maybe I need a break or to consult with another T or something...
LT

T, I guess you’re not answering. I don’t see how you can not answer based on everything that happened and what I wrote. But apparently, you’re not. I’m basically in shock. Worst part is, I can’t even say anything to you. Not after what we just went through. But I have learned my lesson, for sure I have learned my lesson.

Dear T. Missing you today. Kit

I really wish I could have two hours today. Fifty minutes just isn't going to be enough. There are too many things I want to address.
Should we address each superficially? Or only discuss one andor two have time to address the others?

In the last 10 seconds of todays session I was thinking that I loved you, but didn't say it. Thanks for being my T. Maybe I'll tell you tomorrow.

BTW I've decided I like having sessions two days in a row.

Exam on friday and i've been in bed for most of today because I don't feel well.

I don't feel like talking to you today. You can just **** off with your stupid assumptions and insinuations. You don't know what the hell you're talking about. Just leave me alone.

Dear T:

I hope you are up for the challenge in accompanying me as I begin this next phase of my life. You have known me as a married woman and a widow. How will you do with the horny adolescent falling in love?

Critic's gone AWOL, and I'm in my feelings. Could be good, but I'm gonna need a little help come Thursday.

That sounds pretty foot in mouth to me. Why would he say that? He seems kind of... obtuse

Thanks, makes me feel better that you think that. I believe he's trying to make a point that I was a difficult child for my mother to raise, so I should have some empathy for my mom and forgive her for her failings. But I'm really struggling with that. With the paternal transference I've recently started feeling toward T, it all feels so much more intense, the things he says. He can be pretty blunt, and I've mostly adapted to that, but this just stings. I need to find out tomorrow if he understands why it's so painful for me. If he doesn't...I may need to move on to a different T.

Dear T,
Do I tell you what thoughts crossed my mind on the way to pick up D today? I'm afraid to.
Love,
LT

Dear T,
I lost myself when I looked in your eyes
I tried to disguise myself.fear inside the suffering moved
and breathed our hands
silhouettes against the sky I lost myself
when spoken words agreed.shall we dance again?
poems may surprise
stolen pearl caught my eye stole the truth
from my heart.fear inside
where were you hope to chain this memory?
we could have been the last time.show me the
sigh of the side of chance.hold tomorrow one foot
in and one foot out.are you strong enough?
pitiful boy.I lost myself in moments embrace
I saw the lie come clear.fear inside
fallen now child run away I tried to reveal
myself but fear inside where were you?
help unchain this memory
--

Dear T,
I hate you right now. I know I don't have a reason but I do and I don't even want to see your stupid face. My next appointment is gonna be painful.

T: Thanks for trying tonight to help dispel the anxiety. It didn't really work, but the only thing that will make it better is for it to be Friday afternoon. I can make it until then, right? I hope so.

So glad I’m not as stressed out to see you as I was last week. Whatta relief!

T, I’m getting attached. I don’t want to... I just want all the good things that come with it without the attachment. And a hug. I want a hug, a long hug so .i can remember to breathe and feel it. Oh T, why did you have to bring that option up. Are hugs in the middle of session OK or just at the end? To all my PC buddies now might be a good time to take out stock in tissues.., I will look into what brand T uses... T you might need to stock up... like by the semi... T, you are not a pet person so I guess bringing Kindling is out... that would go double for Salem as she is less mature and polite... but they are cats their claws won’t scratch your hard wood floors... just the banister... cuz, well, kindle is a S* pot and would do that to protect his momma.