Couch 196: Cinnamon Swirls

Have you had a discussion about boundary issues with them

No but I think they need it! Haha!

Mine are practicing various negotiation methods as I eat my salmon and broccoli

Mmmmm brocolli!

I couldn't get my walls to come down for session today. It feels awful. At some point, he said he wanted to connect with me but didn't know how. I started sobbing when we had about 5 minutes left because I couldn't get to that place of connection. I shared this feeling with him and he moved closer and we went over time, but I'm feeling very out of sorts and it's all my fault that I couldn't let those walls back down after I put them up yesterday. Our next session feels an impossibly long time away. He can't do a phone check-in this weekend either.

NP—don’t worry about “fault.” The walls are there for a reason. They operate from instinct, which isn’t a fault.

I started reading my economics textbook. The first sentence gives the etymology of “economy” in Greek.

It is wrong.

That's not a good start.

He texted back said he liked the book and thought it was a thoughtful gift.

There's a lady sitting in one of the courtside seats in tonight's NBA playoff game who's wearing skinny pants that look like they're made of really, really shiny aluminum foil and a jacket of the same material except it's gold. It's an, uh, interesting look. I have no idea if this is supposed to be fashionable or not.

OMG. I didn’t even know Info liked basketball.

Now I get a psychiatric review that I don't want.

Trying to stay awake later than I have been...

2 more weeks til I can start exercising again. I miss it a lot. I'm finding it hard to stay out of my head...

Surely the prohibition on exercise doesn’t cover your walks around the block?

I can see not swimming or lifting weights because the incisions might tear. But I don’t think a little walk would hurt.

Well I'm gonna ask her monday because I walk fast... I've already been doing short, slow walks but it's not the same.

H found another house, but it was small. Then we found another apartment. Because of all the credit checks we've done for homes and cars, and because he has so many hospital bills, H's credit score is now below 500... I don't think he knows how to adult very well.

I don't care what una says I want to be a tiny newborn kitten

Feeling seriously small right now. Upset my exT and gp think I need a pdoc review. I am fine a bit depressed but I will pull myself out

I'm having a mild panic attack. Everything will be OK when W gets home.

For some reason, our overdraft expires tomorrow and the loan that will replace it can't be drawn down until Monday or Tuesday.
W says this sort of thing happens all the time and the bank will sort it out eventually.
In the meantime, we've filled the cars with petrol and she's out now getting some cash.

Hope it works out money troubles are the worst.

I am alone in the house well not really I hve the nimals but my D has gone out for the weekend and suddenly I don't feel very safe. I hve been going over what I remember from this morning all day. I know I shouldn't dwell on it but I wanted something but I don't know what I got a sincere goodbye from my T and I don't know what else I expected. Maybe deep down I expected him to take me back. I am such an idiot.

I hve been wondering why we suddenly had a rush of Ben Elton comedies on telly he is promoting his new book. I hve read a few of his books.

I jut need to keep talking here till I get sleepy and to distract myself. Maybe they were right Nd I do need a pdoc review. I m also feeling bit rejected because my dog is not coming because I spent all afternoon cuddling him Nd crying into his fur Nd when I call him he jut sighs and doesn't move