Couch 196: Cinnamon Swirls

I have taken an extra seroquel and now the cats suddenly want to have cuddles and look at the iPad.

And someone from a private number has been trying to call me all day but I hve missed all their calls. I wonder who it was.

I just swan ad for donuts so now I want some.

CE did your W get the cash

I am getting tired now, night all

Morning, Couch.

I'm not a huge fan of Kati Morton, if I'm honest...but she uploaded a video last night on factitious disorder



I want to watch it, in a sense, but I also feel as though it might be super-triggering.

What would you do in this situation?

I'm not a fan either.

I would avoid it if it would trigger you.

Pdoc day Pdoc day!
I don’t need pocket riders per se but if anyone would like to hop in to experience the explosion of purple, eccentric, hugging awesomeness of my Pdoc (provided she hasn’t changed) feel free to hop in on the adventure!
Pdoc day!
Yes, I am a special kind of crazy, but she is a special breed of Pdoc too... and I get a whole hour with her (have to do an intake again), and I love her... and she is OK that I love her!

Hopping in, Omers.

OK, so I am a *little* nervous. I love Pdoc but part of the reason I stopped working with her was I didn’t have a T and she didn’t know of a T she felt had the skills to work with me in the state. She knows like everyone. It wasn’t in a bad way, she finds me rather easy to work with, it was just she couldn’t find anyone with the skills that would be a good fit. Awesome T has also worked in this state forever and had heard of Pdoc but didn’t say anything more. I know as a general rule he does not like Pdocs. So... I am a little scared that Pdoc will know T and know something bad about him or have a reason why he might not be safe. I know it is just crazies... but I also know Pdoc has NO filters and if she doesn’t like T she will say it. I am hoping if she does know him that the reason she wouldn’t refer to him was because he is a man and she might not have thought I was ready for a male T yet.

Yes she did.

How do you guys deal with the limitations of therapy?

R forgot about our session on Wednesday, but gave me a freebie on Thursday. I told him about my dream about the BBC interview but he said it wasn't true. He shared with me that he had been called by a producer on a channel 4 show to give an opinion. He never usually shares stuff .

Today he shared more stuff about after I told him that he made the right choice as that show was cringey. I went on about he could have done it for the money. He told me how much he earned from the charity he worked for- but that he wanted to focus on therapy so stopped the charity work. I said that's good, as that meant more availability, I asked if he had more new clients now, but he didn't tell me.

I got irritated with him for shutting me out.

He went on about looking at the effect his disclosures had on me. How I wanted to have a special relationship with him. That he couldn't love me unconditionally,like I wanted from my father.

His blank slate is ****ing irritating. I don't feel like I know him and this whole thing feels so fake.

I told him i was off on tuesday, I wanted the Wednesday time I've had because, but he said I should stick with my normal otherwise he might forget. I said That I couldn't do my normal thusrday session.So just friday but I want to not see him-so 3 sessions before we're back to normal anyway. :swordfght: I did technically ask after my session was over about arranging next session which he did mention= total call was 51 mins and 45 seconds. So over by 1 min. 45s Even the time thing bugs me.

I passed sports medicine 17/20. But my stupid brain was panicked and woke me up at 4.19am automatically. Still have pharma to do.

I watched it last night. There were some things mentioned that could be triggering. She basically just explained what it was. The video wasn't really anything too special. If it could trigger you I would say don't watch. Honestly you aren't missing anything much anyway.

Smash the blank slate!

Point out to him that the relationship *is* the therapy and you can't form a meaningful relationship with a zombie.

Pdoc sounds cool with her purple hair. But at the end of the day I think your own opinion should count more than hers. If she doesn't like awesome T, and says something bad about him it doesn't really matter. I sometimes dislike people when they haven't given me a reason to.

I sat down to try and do some collage work, and ended up springboarding off into a piece of writing. I don't think it's safe for me to properly touch into the anger on my own, but it's useful to be able to work with it in small ways.

Couchies, help? I am on vacation from work and have planned to spend a week with parents and a week with friends. I’m mostly through the week with parents and I’m feeling so awful that I just want to give up and fly home. Should I do it?

Pros of going home include: it's what I want to do, I think I might need the hospital and I don’t want to be hospitalized in my hometown (for a number of reasons including my parents).

Cons: I’d waste money because I already made travel plans (though I did get travel insurance for what that’s worth), I would miss out on seeing my friends (but I don’t feel like I have the energy or desire to do that anyway).

IF losing some money is the only downside - I would go home.

It has jumped from the 40s to the 90s here in a week. My a/c would not turn on last night so I am sitting here waiting for a repairperson to come and probably tell me my 20 yr old system needs replacing.
My heavy coated dog is miserable - I may have to go buy him a window unit until they can get it fixed. The house is 76 degrees already and we are supposed to hit 90 again today.

I dislike repair stuff - but I actually prefer being an adult to not. I consider it less difficult than the idea of not being in control of my own life.

Now i cant imagine why i said that! They have all the skillzzz they need! Plus some!

Otoh chihiro - maybe getting away from family and seeing friends would help?

Their eyes are not even open. Although I suppose you might focus on the fact that their mother's licking them helps stimulate their internal systems and then eat the outcome. You freudian you.

I was just thinking theyre so CUUUUUUTE!!!

I cancelled next friday's session.

Maybe it's also because



So I'm more sensitive.

Cute your losses and go home. You don't owe anyone anything.

Your friends will understand.

*Edit cut not cute- Thanks guys for getting in my head!