Couch 200: The Bicentennial Couch.

Images of sorrow
Pictures of delight
Things that go make up a life

Endless days of summer
Longer nights of gloom
Just waiting for that morning light

No clothes or art supplies but I did get food which is always a good thing.

So...if you're in a volunteer position, like on an executive board, at what point is it OK to step down? I feel like people keep asking stuff of me and expecting me to be available at a moment's notice, while others (President, President-Elect, Treasurer) aren't. And they're seeming critical of me for things. I have a few months left in my 2-year tenure (was also a regular board member for 2 years before that), and it's like something I don't want to deal with anymore. It's causing me a lot of stress, and I'm not getting any fulfillment out of it anymore. Do I respectfully step down and say my other obligations are too much right now? Stick it out until the end of my tenure? If I do that, is it wrong to sort of half-*** it? I mean, not intentionally so much, but not stress out when I wake up at 2 a.m. and realize I forgot to schedule an email to go out early the next morning, so work on that right then instead of getting sleep? (I've done that a couple times.)

I think you can go whenever you want. If you might need something from these people later, I'd wait the few months till your term is up and tell them now so you look professional.

Same for the half-assing: if you want something from them later, just don't make it too obvious. I wouldn't get up at 2 am just to send an email if I was a volunteer.

I haven't had experience with an executive board before but I did have a volunteer position where I thought people were taking advantage of me plus my own lack of boundaries in saying no. In the end I wasn't enjoying something I started out loving so I stopped. Also because I couldn't half-*** it as sometimes it was a life and death kind of thing.

I so love that song, always have, and relate so much to it. The part that speaks so much to me lately is:


"Hey there, Georgy girl
Dreamin' of the someone you could be
Life is a reality
You can't always run away

Don't be so scared of changing
And rearranging yourself
It's time for jumping down from the shelf
A little bit"



They just don't make songs like they use-ter.

Thanks, @@ and BCM. Yeah, they are connections I could use professionally if I try again to find a job in the field I got my master's in 5 years ago. I think I'll just try to hang on and do my duties, but not go above and beyond. And I'll try not to take stuff they say personally, like just say, "I'm sorry I didn't get to this email earlier." Without adding, "FFS, this is a volunteer gig, I can't check email 24-7, I do have a life."

What else could be wrong with a cat? He is getting under my feet meowing trying to climb up my leg. He doesn't want to be picked up, does want to play with his toys has refused food and the litter is clean. I am stumped.

Well, the kids have an appointment to look at a new place on Friday (they both got that day off work). Fingers crossed that it works out.

If they ask you to do something that's unreasonable, can't you just tell them "No, I can't take care of that right now". Surely there are other people that can pick up the slack when one person isn't able to do something at that time. Maybe you also need to sit down with these people and discuss the scope of the position. Maybe it's too much for one person to handle and they need to have co-people.

Ok mystery solved I think I disrupted his routine of sitting on my lap after I have done the chores and made my coffee. I am back home now sitting on my bed and he is happily purring away on my lap and swiping at the iPad.

It went pretty well. I basically gave him an update on the weekend, my grandma's health and how I've been coping with it. I toyed with the idea of talking about the hospital again, but decided not to bring it up and neither did he. I've been debating on agreeing to it, but I feel like no time is the right time to go in and I didn't want to bring it up if he isn't considering it anymore. Stupid irrational thoughts.

I had a similar situation in a volunteer position. After I helped them catch up on 15 YEARS of paperwork they got bent out of shape because I didn't get to a few things. I did hold out for the end of my tenure but I didn't re-up.

Thanks, I've been doing that more lately, kinda being like, "Sorry, can't be at this event" or "Sorry, I hadn't looked at that email account in the past 5 hours" (tonight). And trying not to feel guilty about it. One of the issues is, I'm one of only a couple people who can post on our Facebook page or send out email to our mailing list through Mailchimp (an email program). So a lot falls on me. There was a co-communications chair, but she's kind of disappeared. I'm also Secretary, so I feel kind of more obligated to do certain things. (I do have to take minutes, but there was one board meeting I had to miss, and I was like, "Sorry! Can't make this one.") The thing is, I partly agreed to take on Secretary role when I was applying for the PhD programs (which didn't pan out), figuring it would help my application. Ah well...

Wow, that's a lot of paperwork! Think I'm going to do the same with getting to the end of my tenure then not running again for a board position. I can still stay a bit involved, but more in the background.

Are you still talking about hyper puppies? I have a 4 month old husky and got a basic pawhut agility set on overstock that has been great. He loves the tunnel.

And about needing meds to sleep, I've had one that has worked for 15 years that just now seems to not work. Takes 2 hours to fall asleep. Pdoc wasn't too concerned at last appt but I am going to try harder at tomorrow's appt. My t says that generics aren't as good as brand name. Have others heard this?

I was on Atarax for sleep, but it stopped working. Now I'm on Doxepin and it's been working on the lowest dose. I also ha e Ambien when I really need to sleep (an anxiety attack, breakdown, etc.)

Hey couch, I could use some hugs or pats on the head. Just broke up with my boyfriend of 6-7 months. I’m not devastated or anything but it’s still a bummer.

I couldn't find any jeans I liked or fit me I might have to go to the cowboy store and have a look as people have suggested. Also I have this overwhelming desire to buy art supplies but for some reason there is reluctance to do this a sort what if it's a waste of money but I will feel better. I am desperately trying to distract myself from contacting exT it is so hard.

Just bought jeans online for half the price bargain

H started his job today!...and he quit tonight

I've served in various capacities on a community board. It can burn people out for the reasons you're talking about, the expectation of constant and immediate availability, always more work to do than there are people, the urgency of others' last minute "planning."

I stepped away for a while, then rejoined as a regular board member, but I am very clear about my availability and that my participation is based in my history and experience with the organization allowing me to serve in an advisory capacity, especially since I also carry another direct-volunteer position within the organization. No more 2 a.m. emails for me....just oops, I forgot, or I'd just send them when I had time. (Because I did the same thing.)

I say "no" a lot, politely but without regret or budging. There's only one of me.

In your shoes, I don't think there's a right answer. It's totally fine decide to step down, or to ride it out and do what you can. That's not even half-assing it, that's just giving what you have to give and no more. More

Do you know who's stepping in after the two years? Maybe they could come on board early, for a transition period?

Why am I not surprised

Hi couchies! Things here are a bit nutters but wanted to check in and post an awesome T is awesome update...
T was frazzled today and having a hard time when he got to the office so he used something I made to self soothe/center... he was SO excited. I was really emotional today too (missing cat, no AC, hormones, no sleep and no T next week) so we decided to keep it light today. I know T is into old cars so I showed him the antique car I would want if I was going to restore one (I think I am related to the founders of the company but still looking into it). T was impressed as he had never heard of that kind of car before and he is a huge car buff... so then he got his phone to show me pictures of the car he is currently restoring... but it quickly turned into a really open book look into T’s life! He showed me the cars, his back yard, family pictures. I know this sort of thing wouldn’t be OK with everyone but I found it really helpful. T is just a normal guy with special training that wants me to have a happier life. He shared a lot of personal information but it really seems to have helped a lot. I came home and had a really good talk with H about where I am with therapy and where I think T and I need to go... I am not exactly sure how all of that processing came out of flipping through photos on T’s phone but it seems to have worked so I’ll take it! Now I also know that the things I get curious about with T he will answer if I am brave enough to ask.