Couch 201: The Transformative Grammar Couch

after two incidents last night I did call back. The same officer responded. I was told that he was behaving in a threatening and disturbing manner but did not actually harm me so their hands were tied. I asked why I didn’t have the right to be safe and short story was that it is his home too as it is his legal mailing address. Even when he started up and I cowered in the bushes the officer said his affect was calm so he was not a threat I explained to the officer that the officer reiterated that he was calm.

The officer told me there would be different people in after 9am if I wanted to try again?!?!?!?!?!?!?

My H is bringing him 2+ hrs away for another promised placement... fingers crossed it is not another lie. I triggered in front of the officer and he started to threaten inpatient but I agreed to a voluntary 72hr so I could eat, sleep and shower... then he realized... he would have to place my son for the 72hr hold so no go. Which is good because I *think* Pdoc would make an exception if I did a 72hr to keep myself safe from an outside threat but she has told me in the past that if I went inpatient she would no longer work with me.

Ugh, Omers, that's awful about the cop. I hope this placement works out.

I am trying not to get my hopes up but praying this placement is for real. I honestly don’t know if my husband could physically drive home with my son in the car and not have a major health issue. I hated to say it in front of H but I had to tell the police that H couldn’t protect me. Last night the first one H was on the front steps smoking but I couldn’t yell for help because it escalates my son. The second time was the middle of the night and I felt stupid asking H to escort me to the bathroom to pee. At some point though he would have to go back to work.
I have gotten so conditioned to being locked in my room I am having trouble coming and going as I please in the house today. But... T said he will call today.

HUGS @Omers That is such a difficult situation. And I'm really peeved at your Pdoc that said they won't work with you if you go IP? What the heck are they there for then? I hope there will be a placement for your son.

It's Friday which I'm happy about because it is almost the weekend. I'm not sure what today holds work wise. I don't have a lot at the moment so I'm just kind of chilling and checking in on PC. I hope everyone has a good day. =) Kit

My sister and the children are coming next weekend! I'm getting excited. The three boys want to go see Lion King so I think we will try to make that work. I might try to talk my Dad into it and have it be a guys day out or something like that. I think that would be good for them.

T called he had me on speaker phone and I think he was making his lunch which weirds me out a bit but... I told him I had his email where he said “take care of you” open beside me the whole time yesterday and that I defended myself using things from him with the rude cop impersonating guy he seemed happy that I was able to use those as resources to draw strength from. He was really upset at the police officer that let me trigger before they did anything though. In discussing that T let on to even more training/experience than I had been aware of it was an interesting to hear because it came off super egotistical when T is incredibly humble around me... REALLY makes me wonder about some of his other professional training and experience.

I might have to go to urgent care for my SH wound. It's 6 days old but it's starting to get warm around the outside and pink. I don't want an infection starting.

I hope you go to urgent care, SK. You don't want to go septic. If it's getting warm and pink, the infection has already started. Best to nip it in the bud. You don't have to tell them about the whole battery thing if you don't want to. It might be a good idea to see your psychiatrist sooner rather than later, though, since you ended up acting on the battery thing. Sounds to me like you need a med adjustment or switch ASAP.

Thanks @susannahsays. I will probably go to urgent care this weekend. Might have my Dad look at it first (he used to be a fireman and knows a lot of EMT stuff). I see my psychiatrist next month so that's not too far away. I see T next week. I don't know which one I'm more afraid to tell about the battery thing. But I know I have to.

We just finished 2.5 hours of unloading toys from storage shed, packing them in boxes and loading the u-haul out in the hot sun. Bushed! Now in a/c doing last minute clerical stuff to prepare for tomorrow's event. I like doing volunteer work cuz I don't have time to perseverate on my therapy relationship with L (which is what the intense part of yesterday was about.) I am taking a quick water break right now...

Thank you. I called the triage nurse this morning and asked about my wound. It's draining a lot of discolored fluid that I'm concerned about, but the nurse said as long as I'm not running a fever that it's fine to watch it. I'm not really confident about that since I had a fever in the psych unit 2 days ago and been popping ibuprofen like its candy the last week. There's a dispatch urgent care around here that does house calls that I might use, but I'm not sure if it's normal or not for an open wound.

My session went okay. We just talked about how I haven't been able to cope this summer. T started talking about me taking it out on myself when I'm frustrated with others. That he says maybe I'm frustrated with him because he can't see me 5 days a week this summer. And just told me that he's glad when I call him outside of session to talk and to do that this weekend to get through it.

It's so hard to wait for the results of that biopsy. I wish I could sleep all the time just to get through it but I have grading to do. And I have to teach 2 classes tomorrow. I might have to take a Klonopin to get through it. I am, of course, convinced it's cancer anyway and just waiting to hear the bad news.

Was the surgery related to your SH? You don't seem convinced about going inpatient, but have you considered an IOP program where you'd get more support than what your therapist can provide but still be at home at night?

Yes, it was related to SH. I just got discharged from inpatient after 3 days. I called local places around here that I was referred to for IOP and they are all at max capacity. They said to keep calling every few weeks to see if there's an opening, so that's what I'm going to do.

I really regret agreeing to work one more overnight shift at my old job (tonight is the last night) - I work in security and just hope everyone behaves for me tonight. Husband asked I if I was picking up son from work (his shift is over after mine begins so I cannot pick him up) - I told H that I would gladly tell the company I'm not coming in tonight but H told me to honor my commitment. He's totally right and I don't normally call in sick - in fact I worked every weekend for two years straight without missing a shift.

Meanwhile I've been in contact with new company and my communication with them has been delightful. I'm looking forward to joining their team.

I hope your new job is great Polibeth.

A few more minutes of work and then it's the weekend! I don't have book club tomorrow so I can sleep in!!! I'm way excited about that. I think Mom is making spaghetti tonight and maybe we will watch a movie or something. I feel like hanging out with my parents tonight instead of hibernating in my room. My parents are really great, I should spend more time with them. Sometimes when I get off of work though I just want to hibernate from all the sounds and visual stimulation of the day. So I go and get under my blankets and decompress. But they were looking at funeral packages the other day and that's got me worried about when they aren't going to be around any more.

My stomach has been really upset all day and I've had to keep running to the bathroom. I am worried I have irritable bowel syndrome or something because this has been happening more and more frequently. I have a PCP appointment on Wednesday so I'm going to bring it up but I haven't figured out how yet. Maybe just start by telling her my stomach is upset a lot.

Two coworkers are complaining about a third coworker (not present) and I can hear them from my office. I don't like it. But I don't want to call them out on it and start something either.

I have pretty bad anxiety a lot of the time, and my stomach notices before the rest of me does sometimes. Sour stomach, gas pressure, nausea, etc. Perhaps in your case, it's related to something similar? Anyway, I hope you feel better soon.

Not surprisingly, mint chocolate chip oreos taste exactly like mint creme oreos. Well, to me at least.

I may not have the specialized palate required for oreo taste tests.

All you have to do is be willing to take one for the team.

*passes the torch*

The dog wants to play with the cats and he is dancing around and barking at them and the cats are just staring at him and yawning. This is how I feel in most social situations I am "dancing around" saying please like me while other people just disregard me.