Couch 201: The Transformative Grammar Couch

It's okay to not have words.

I'd want to listen.



How many days till T comes back?

You can handle it Una!

Don't forget your secret identity as Onesie Woman.

Wow, I guess you don’t really know how bad a situation really is until you are on the other side. Re discovering how to live. I had plans for T tomorrow but I think they went out the window. My son was already really bad before I met T so T has never seen me without that stress. T is out of town after Monday’s session. Maybe we will just spend the time with T getting to know me without the stress of my son.

I don’t think it’s fair that he won’t work with me if I SH. It’s part of the disease I have. Must be nice to be able to pick and choose your patients.

Has your son been placed then?

My honest friend (whom has been a life long and love dearly) told me that I need to start wearing my size and stop letting my size wear me. She told me my clothes are frumpy and says it makes me look bigger. I understand what she’s trying to tell me. But what if I don’t want to own my size? Not everyone can walk around confident. She’s a naturally beautiful woman-thick curly black hair and despite not being thin-all her weight is distributed evenly. So she looks good. We all aren’t that lucky to be able to comfortably sport skinny jeans despite being over weight. Yes, most of my clothes are hideous and I dress very plain but I don’t know how to wear my size like she does. My body is different than hers.

she may have a point but she may not. Just because someone gives you information does not mean you are bound to act on it.

You need to figure out what styles and cuts work best with your body. (And that will likely involve going outside of your comfort zone a bit.) Would she be willing to go clothes shopping with you and give you honest feedback on stuff you try on?

She sure would go shopping with me. She’s very honest and very helpful. I’m not offended by what she said..I just don’t know how to change it. I know I need to change the way I dress and stop with the stupid plain t shirts and baggy jeans or shorts..I want to make that change for when the season changes. She will go with me when I’m ready.

He is on a locked unit for stabilization and evaluation. We have been promised he will be at least 2 weeks. His treatment team is in FULL agreement that he cannot return to this house. Part of the evaluation is to see if the violence is directed at women in general or just me.

I finally asked can you take me to the ER and the officer said no, you have to be here to supervise your son. I started sobbing and asking repeatedly “why isn’t my life worth protecting?” and the cop looked at H and said “man, she needs psychiatric help”. NEVER said anything about me son! H spent the night with my son in the parking lot of his Pdoc and told them if my son steps back on this property he will not be alive when cops arrive.

So... I don’t trust the doctors but I do trust H.

Hey Jersey, I just want to put out there that there may be more to why you dress the way you do than the numbers on the tag. I have what most would say is a nice body but I usually wear oversized men’s clothes because I am not comfortable in my body.

I’m proud of myself because I wanted to SH yesterday and I didn’t. I went over to a friends house and watched two movies with her. One was mine, one was hers. But hers made me cry and thus end up with a migraine. It was a good movie though called You’re not you. I cried the whole way through it. Mine was The Orient Express. No crying there.

If you prefer, I know a therapist who will go on mall trips with clients AND has an amazing sense of style...

If, god forbid, you have to deal with your son’s mental health care again, may I suggest leaving it up to your husband? When you spearhead the effort, people react to you—call the cops, threaten arrest, make all kinds of boneheaded excuses like “your son gets mail here so it’s his legal home” .

I don’t know why that happens, maybe your son looks all innocent in public, maybe they don’t take women seriously, maybe the situation is so awful for you that you get triggered and that shifts their attention to you instead of the real problem.

Trust your husband to deal with it.

Nooooo!!!

I thought about info when my friend said that to me. I would “nope” right out of that one! ex T was beautiful and stylish but I wouldn’t go with her if she ever offered shopping and I was thin back then. I didn’t get this way until 4-5 years ago. I was thin.

I'm glad your son is getting treatment and that they're in agreement he can't return to the house. And that your H is being so supportive of you. But, ugh, that's awful about the cop.

I'd go clothes shopping with my T--he has a good sense of style. Same with ex-T. Ex-MC? Yeah, no.

I feel so bad. I don't know what to do.

Thanks. It is a combination, son looks all sweet and innocent and instantly does everything he is told as soon as a cop shows up. He never gets agitated just violent which they don’t understand. I tend to get too calm because I dissociate in a panic and get super calm and rational. Then there is a boatload if sexism. H is trying but he is a truck driver and gone 12+ hrs/day and works 6 days a week.

I would go clothes shopping with L. I like the comfy-looking stuff she wears.

Omers, re your son and the cops listening to your h and not to you - that is just full on "im not taking orders from a woman."

I read all the feedback my poetry prof offered. I wish she had provided feedback for the final 7 edit project but she didn't.

The crisis hotline isn't working.

I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this.

I've got the exact same issue. I dress in oversized t-shirts and jeans or capris because I'm uncomfortable in more form fitting clothes. I'm certain my style of dress makes me look even bigger.

I don't have any friends that would go clothes shopping with me.