Couch 203: The Spam and Cool Whip Couch!

There is a grey cat living under my house. She is skeletal so I am feeding her. She is so sweet. Rubs her head all over my hand as soon as I bend down. Got some flea and tick treatment for her, as well. Was thinking of taking her to the vet to have a checkup and shots and heartworm prevention (is that a thing for cats?), then I realized it would be hard to schedule an appointment when I can't be sure if she'll be around at any given time. Tricky. Not sure if she belongs to one of the other tenants. If she does, they aren't feeding her or caring for her in any way whatsoever. I'm hoping that when my sister visits, she will fall in love and take her. She has said no, but maybe she will change her mind...

* I don't actually know if the cat is a she. I don't want to be rude to my new feline friend by attempting an inspection. Not yet, anyway.

This woman was really pushy. Thats the way to go thanks i have problems with not knowinfg if something is rude.

It makes me so sad when kitties or dogs are so thin and not being taken care of. Thanks for feeding her and caring for her if she is indeed a her. You are a kind soul.

The receptionist left for the day which means it is up to me to answer the phones. Not that I expect them to ring off the hook or anything. But I feel myself getting chatty and there's no one to chat to here at work. I may be spamming the couch soon!

My side has been hurting much of the day. I don't know why. It's just tender. I suspect I have IBS but have neglected to bring it up to my doctor. I do have an appointment in November with my PCP but we will see if I bring it up then either. I tend to leave stuff out that is embarrassing when I go to the doctors.

My cousin liked the wedding shower gift that I got her. I talked to her on the phone because I didn't attend the shower and she practically gushed over it. It was just a dish, albeit a pretty one, apricot colored square cake dish with embossing on it. I also gave her money in the card. I was pleasantly surprised that she liked the gift so much. I don't know my cousin well at all and I don't know what her tastes are, it's just pretty. So I took a shot and it worked out!

Today I have done very little it seems. I was locked out of the accounting program for several hours while it was being worked on. I did do some invoicing, proformas and regular, but I basically felt useless today. Not a good feeling. It's like if I didn't exist today, it would not have mattered at work. Maybe it would have mattered elsewhere but not at work. I did spend a lot of time on "what you do if you're suicidal" websites today because the SUI thoughts are back but y'know, that wasn't anything to do with work.

I am trying to make myself stay up in the evenings and spend time with my parents instead of going to bed early but I'm sleeping a lot because of the depression. It's less painful to be asleep than to be awake, so it's an escape for me right now. It's better than SH but I only have a finite time with my parents. I haven't been reading much either. I'm still halfway through the book I'm reading. Normally I would have been done with it by now. It just doesn't hold the same type of joy for me that it once did. My T told me last time that I was struggling to keep my head above water for too long. I think maybe I'm still there in that pond.

I just found out a friend had also been waiting on test results to see if something was cancerous or not and it's benign. That's awesome. I wish I had known he was getting the test done because I would have prayed.

I feel like a fool. My entire life, I've just assumed cats are like dogs and male cats just have really small penises that get camouflaged by their more squishy bodies or something. I don't know. This issue has only become relevant now because I feel baffled as to if there might actually be something hiding up there on the grey cat's stomach or not, since I realized I had never seen a prepuce on a cat.

I am shocked to learn of this whole genital configuration of male cats. I never once suspected such a thing.

The SH thoughts are really bad this afternoon. I'm trying to get distracted from them. I want to be able to go to my T session on the 4th and be like, nope, didn't do any SH since I've seen you last. I need to get some days under my belt.

Maybe try audiobooks or podcasts, slumber kitty. You could even walk while you listen, if you wanted, or play games.

Thanks @susannahsays. BTW I don't know what a male cat looks like down there either. I've only had female kitties so I am as baffled as you.

I don't feel competent to sex this cat.

Up until my present cats i have only had female cats i too was surprised with male cat setup it looks like they are in pain when humping something

Info’s quote of the session:

I really had to sit on the snarky responses, like “is this an ad for therapy?”

And why should I think about things I didn’t have and make myself miserable? So I need more therapy?

What a bizarre question, although the first woman asked me something similar a couple of times.
I said it wouldn't make my life any different at all. How would it? Why would it? - the woman never had a response to my questions about her idiotic ones

@@... Ex T used to ask stuff like that. I would just simply say to her “How would those things have made your life different”

She would then throw her back into her chair and let out a sigh. I found great joy in watching her get frustrated when I would reflect her stupid questions back to her.

That would have been too hilarious for words. I only lived in california for about a year, but i ran into people from home a couple of times, and it was so odd!

Peg Streep has a newish book out, i think i like it, about getting over a mean mom and getting on with your life. I was reading it before bed last night and boy did i have weird dreams. But it sounds like what info is talking about.

The lady cat is in pain. Hes got spikes.

I feel very unstable.

My therapist's trip got cancelled due to wildfires so he's staying in town, but not working because he'd already taken the time off. I feel like I'm the verge of a breakdown or something and I want to call him already. I'm not going to call him though. He said he'd email me sometime to set up a phone call during our week-long break.

Well I'm without a therapist and changing pdocs at the moment. And coming off diazepam. I lowered from 2 mgs to 1 mg last week. Getting anxiety more now. Nice to meet you all on the couch.

I keep going back and forth on if this cat is a she or he. There are definitely no testicles, but I didn't have leisure to see if it was a case of an empty, shrunken scrotum or a female cat. I initially thought the reproductive aperture looked more round than elongated, so that would indicate male, but the absence of testicles or anything that I remember seeing that would indicate an empty scrotum makes me wonder. I also don't know if this would look any different if she's a female cat in heat or, heaven forbid, pregnant. There were 2-3 episodes of yowling at night a couple weeks ago.