Couch 203: The Spam and Cool Whip Couch!

I was so busy looking at pictures of cat genitals that the bottom of my biscuits burned.

Let this be a lesson to you all.

I like biscuits burned on the bottom.

I cleaned my house (well downstairs) I’ll do my bedroom tomorrow. I think I used way too much bleach. I also watched my sisters baby for 6 hours today.

I guess even though I’m off work this week and next...I need to keep busy doing something other than sitting around.

Also what the hell was I thinking taking on a family with 3 kids 4 and under? I am not ready for this and I do not want to do it.

Today may or may not have been my last day of IOP. The therapist said she sent an email to the case manager to see if insurance approved more days, and would hopefully get back to me before group ended today. She said if they didn't approve more days, she'd call to set up a discharge meeting. It's now nighttime and I haven't heard either way. It's frustrating that they'd let people walk out without any discharge plan, but I guess people aren't supposed to pose any threat to themselves while they're in the program so maybe it's different for others. So I don't know what the heck I'm doing tomorrow since they haven't called.

I have just bought the entire Terry Pratchett collection for a song. My ex threw away almost my entire library when we separated.

I am still plagued by ATAT's question from the therapist. What is the point of such questions? How are they supposed to help? What sort of answer are they looking for? What is the point of it?
Flashbacks to great frustration with the woman I hired

I knew I should have triggered that.

I’m telling you, it’s just an elaborate ad for therapy. And keep in mind Info’s cracker lost its cheese a while ago.

This is the book it’s from: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004O4D88O...ng=UTF8&btkr=1

That is horrifying.

Anyone else wide awake? Where I am it’s 1:45 am. I should be in dreamland.

Just realised i will need another bookcase. Yay!

Cute puppy video that cheered me up.
N E H 💩 D O 😳 D L E S on Instagram: “Even though our journey together was a mere 4 weeks but it feels like forever. 😢😢😢 Cheeku goes to another foster today. Really hoping this…”

I'll try to catch up on the couch.

There's good things going on like some safeish offline friends. Dear friend coming to visit end of the year so we'll get to meet offline for the first time. Might even visit their family.

Dad's been on my case and I think it's affecting my mood. I told T "it's like he sees me with unconditional negative regard". And it hurts a lot. I just don't know how to describe it. I feel like I'm slowly sinking, I feel like he'll only stop when I'm dead. Not suicidal but I feel so unhappy.

A friend begged me to move out but I really don't want to. My family will harass whoever helps me, really. I can't do that to another person.

I am trying to move to my partner's country. The visa is complicated, I'm stressed and overwhelmed and I wonder if I've some sort of cognitive dysfunction because I'm struggling a lot.

Trailer for little women:



But one one beats the 1990s version with Wynona Ryder.

can you hire someone to help sort out the visa process?

In the wise words of Albus dumbledore "One can never have to many socks" and books in this case.

I will eat anything as long as it's free.

You are one of the best writers I know.

Not mine, I’ve heard that phrase before.

T emailed me back on Monday.. and I have been trying to ignore the email. But his last line of the email “I hope you will return, so we can work through this” is haunting me. Why couldn’t he have said something that pissed me off or I could have misconstrued as he didn’t want to work with me anymore? I know seems silly.. but that would help me ignore him right now.

I mean the truth is I feel like I am done with therapy with him. Not because I think I have accomplished all I want, but because t and I are frequently dealing with more and more ruptures and it’s tiring.

But... I miss the relationship. I miss the safety I feel in his office. And I miss knowing I have that support if I need it. Which I am sure I could get with a new t. But I just don’t know if I can go through the whole process of finding and a t, retelling my story, and establishing that t/client relationship again.

The main thing R taught me was that you don't have to be nice to ANYBODY. It's okay to put yourself and your needs first.

If you feel like you're done- it's okay not to reply despite what he hoped.

I found it easier to be able to be more direct because of all the time I've already spent in therapy. So it won't be like starting from square one and you could write a short bullet point list for new T if that's what you chose to do.

I love Terry Pratchett.

I feel overwhelmed by a friendship which makes me feel like a bad person. I also don't feel like I can take a break from this person because they are going through a lot. Not sure what I am going to do.

On the safety demos on planes they always say to fasten your own mask before helping anyone else. Same thing here. Your friend might be going through a lot but so are you. could you try to limit access a bit, the friends i hav know I can take my time to reply to messages even though that might sound cold.

Yeah, with most of my friends I am pretty slow to respond. It might take me a week or more to respond to an email. But this friend has gotten to emailing me every day or sometimes more than once a day, long emails. So I'm trying to keep up but I'm feeling depleted myself.