Couch 203: The Spam and Cool Whip Couch!

People tell me to smile all the time and its ALWys men telling me to smile

I often wonder if I was a man myself would I be told to smile so much???

Maybe I'm not smiling cause there is nothing 2 smile about and I REFUSE to be fake in that way !!!!!

Any competent feminist will tell you that men see a woman's smile as a sign of submission

I understand having voices
@BlessedCheeseMaker

Thanks I was thinking of my present treatment team. My exT understood the voices.

Has anyone heard the Halsey song Nightmare?

"Come on, little lady, give us a smile"
No, I ain't got nothin' to smile about
I got no one to smile for, I waited a while for
A moment to say I don't owe you a god*n thing

The couch reminds me I don't owe some guy a pretty smile just so he has something pleasant to look at.

nothing makes me scowl harder than being told to smile.

I've felt that way before when I've first started taking an SSRI, but then it subsides within a couple days, like my body had to get used to it. So I'd try giving it at least a week. I figured it was my brain getting used to having more serotonin.

If you're worried about the SH, I'd definitely get it looked at. Not sure where to suggest you go though...

Does anyone have any tips for how to be a good companion to a two and a half year old? I’m going to visit my best friend across the country and I’m weirdly nervous about being with her kiddo. I’m afraid he won’t like me. I’m an only child and didn’t grow up close to extended family so I don’t have a lot of experience with young kiddos. I know what to do with school age kids because I worked at a summer camp for a few years but toddlers are a mystery.

I've had a toddler, and they're *still* kind of a mystery to me (probably doesn't help that my daughter isn't neurotypical). The best thing I can say is follow the kid's lead. If they're playing with or doing something, jump in on that. Sit on the floor with them. Ask questions about what they're doing. Stuff like that.

My mother was always telling me to smile growing up. "You're pretty when you smile. " I felt under scrutiny.

Apparently I have "resting sad face"d at times, as both males and females have told me to smile before (and sometimes I was feeling generally happy at the time!)

Thanks to all my pocket riders - session went well. R was visibly moved by the poem ('blown away') and the prospective publishers responded to my query. Plans are afoot.

When they tell you something, look impressed. Take their fantasies seriously. Respond to everything they say.

Agree. They might not take direction well. But they can be very earnest in what they are doing.

I was not a smiler until after I started therapy.

I have found that small children will come up to you if you simply don't really do anything to attract them. Small children are awful at telling stories - never encourage them to talk. It can be hard to shut them back up and they are incredibly boring. I talk to them like they are humans and I don't do much else and they glom all over me. Much like pets who knows a visitor doesn't really care about them much will jump into the human's lap - I find small children like that. Plus at 2 1/2 - the child will have the attention span of a gnat. I don't think there is any real reason to try and join a small child who is otherwise engaged. Just let them be.

Unconditional positive regard!

I’ve started to watch the Netflix series Dark. Thinking of and missing @Lemoncake

A typical 2 year old will probably shy away from you at first. Don’t take it personal. Once he gets to know you he will talk to you. Just greet him with a little cheap toy car, truck or train and you’ll be his new best friend. You don’t have to spend a lot. A couple dollars on a toy car, truck or train will do the trick.

I think my meds slow down my brain.... makes me a bit dumb...

That's usually my M.O. I went to visit a friend who has a 4 yo and a 2 yo. I showed up with coloring books and markers. They loved it. Plus it gave me a chance to talk to my friend while the children were busy doing their thing with the coloring.

I'm ready for Autumn! I've had quite enough of the Summer. Unfortunately it's supposed to be 102 degrees F this weekend. Sigh. I did have a nice walk around the park this morning. The air was cool but not crisp. It didn't feel like Autumn, but as it was pretty dark when I got there I pretended it was.

I hope she's okay. She hasn't been on here since the 12th.

We have a new controller that works out of the NY office. She hasn't yet given me permission to pay the bills. I'm frustrated.

I quit therapy yesterday after my first appointment from break. I don’t really want to quit therapy, but I brought up the fact that therapy seems different with t since our rupture in May. I said he seems harsher/ less compassionate. He assured me he hasn’t changed the way he does therapy with me and perhaps there is projection going on.

It pisses me off that he automatically went to projection and wasn’t willing to spend at least some time considering whether or not he has been acting different to me.

He also ended my session early (again) he got me at 11 after the hour. He told me to go sit down- he went to the bathroom and got a cup of coffee. So, my therapy didn’t technically start until closer to 20 after. I was in my car by 48 after the hour. It was barley 30mins, and my session used to always be 50-60mins.

I did not point out these times to him yet as I didn’t want to get hung up on it because I wanted to deal with the other issue. However, he is convinced he gave me a full session, but he didn’t.

I just want my supportive caring t back.