Anyones else's t started to whisper in a difficult moment

I was talking to t today about the memories of my ex on his birthday when he got abusive. I didnt go into any details we just talked how they felt. I was struggling and fidgeting a lot staring at my hands unable to talk at times and she sat forward and started whispering to me. Has anyone else had a t who's started whispering. Do you know why? Never had it before

Actually, yes. My therapist has done that 2 or 3 times over the course of our therapeutic relationship. I wasn't sure, either, why she did it. I just let it go because it didn't seem that important to me.

Not whispering exactly. But every once in a while whenever I'm getting too worked up for 'normal' conversation she would start talking to me in a rather soothing, monotonous voice. In those moments I'm not really in a place for her words to get through to me. But the tone of her voice does reach me, somehow, somewhere.


If nothing else it helps me to find solid ground again and not to drift off into negative transference, (which for me is when she tends to become some sort of mutant monster), which wouldn't really help in those worked up moments.

Yes, former T did that a few times. I think it was to get my attention. I had to sit up and look at her and pay attention to what she was saying. It didn't bother me. She didn't do it often. Current T hasn't done it. But she has said my name and then left a silence until I look at her and then she will speak. HUGS Kit

Yes, I think to sound more gentle.

It's a technique they use.

Not whisper but suddenly talk in a quieter tone, yes. To me, it’s the same as leaning forward closer to me. It’s to make a point or show understanding and empathy. It usually catches me off guard but I like it. It makes the moment more intimate and meaningful.

Thank you. She lowers her tone when I'm struggling but yesterday was the first time she whispered.we were talking about bad memories how they happen and how it felt then she leaned forward and whispered asking me if I could tell her how I think about myself. I just shook my head as couldn't talk then she spoke in a quiet tone then she whispered another question to me which i cant think of at the moment and then she said that it was ok and we can talk about it another time and asked me to take a deep breathe. I shook my head and she said you need to breathe. I dont think I was holding my breathe

No, but I find it interesting if this is a technique used by quite a few. Personally, I think whispering in a situation where there is no reason to be extra quiet would bother me and I would find it really odd, not soothing at all. But I don't like when people, in general, use tone of voice that is different from normal adult speech. One of my Ts once tried to talk to me in a way that sounded like talking to a child - I got quite annoyed and made a sarcastic comment making fun of him. He never tried that again. I do prefer speech that generally has a calm, even tone though.

yes my therapist has done that. not only is it a therapy tool but also a parenting tool. how it works is when someone whispers the other person has to pay attention and really listen to hear the whisperer. here where I am "whisper" is a very popular tool for management, skills training like parenting classes, domestic violence training, anger management, even job employers are catching the "whisper" by training their employees to never raise their voice when dealing with the public, to instead whisper or lower the voice so that the upset/ triggered person that they are dealing with has to calm their self down and really listen.

I sometimes see this in action at the grocery store, at my job, at the movie / Show venues... "Whisper" is the in thing now in daily life, like the term "use your inside voice" was and is the in thing.

I even use "Whisper" with my children. its amazing how fast my whispering can end a temper tantrum in the middle of the grocery isles.

my point "whisper" is used any time there is a need for those self nurturing/ calming tools we learn in therapy and every day life.

No, she never did that. I'm not sure how I would have felt if she had. Usually when we talked about stuff in the same category that you mentioned, her voice seemed rather loud to me - but I don't think that was because she was actually talking louder. However, I think if I noticed that she was whispering or trying to be all soothing and stuff, I might not respond in a positive way and become argumentative in an effort to make her stop.

My T hasn't whispered to me but he does change his tone to appear more comforting.

My T will soften and/or lower her tone, but I don't recall her whispering. It's more likely to be me whispering (or speaking softly) and her asking me to repeat myself (I think usually because she can't hear me or isn't sure she heard me correctly, rather than that she's trying to make me own what I said or something).