Couch 209: The Kummer Couch

I hope they find a place for you and that it's helpful for you. I know this situation seems awful but I think it's good you went to the ER and that you are trying to stay safe.

Today’s haul! I also put a bunch of books on hold at the library that looked interesting but I didn’t feel the need to buy.

I had a sitter once. I wasn't in the ER or psych, I was in the regular hospital peds
ward for a couple days after an attempt. She slept almost the entire time. I didn't like her. She wouldn't let me go to the bathroom alone and it was humiliating because I kept having to drink massive quantities of activated charcoal... which isn't pretty when it comes out the other end.

Evening, Couch.

Sending a round of hugs and headnods as appropriate.

*curls up in a ball*

Hi, Lost. Hugs back. Quiet Couch today.

when EMDR T is all over nice to me I just think about that meme thanks, I hate it

T: I wont abandon the little part of you, here is all the support you need.
Me, Thanks, I hate it

It is quiet. I’m trying to look at my computer and phone less on the weekends but haven’t been successful. My husband just looks at me out of the corner of his eye sitting on the other end of the couch probably wondering what I’m always reading.

I had a Low key day. Ran some errands, picked up some food and came back home.

I just took some Valerian Root capsules to try and calm my nerves. When I made an appointment with the Pdoc, once she told me she can’t see my until January 9th, I emailed her back asking if anything over the counter is effective for relieving the level of anxiety I have. She never answered so I’m taking that as a no. 5HTP doesn’t do anything. Drinking less caffeine isn’t helping-either. Now I’m trying Valerian Root Capsules. Maybe I’ll follow up the capsules with a shot a rum. That should do it. Though it won’t be a option on work days.

Funny, I was just talking to my T yesterday about Valerian root. Let me know if it helps. I've been drinking some Yogi Tea "Calm" tea before bed which includes Valerian, and it seems to be helping some (though I had some really weird/unsettling dreams last night...) But I imagine taking an actual capsule would contain much more than a tea would. I imagine a shot of rum would help as well

Or vodka. I’ll let you know if it’s effective without the shot.

Funny you’re talking about valerian. PetSmart gives out free samples of pet food the first Saturday of the month, and today I got catnip and valerian treats for new cat, it’s called Meowijuana.

That’s pretty funny.

New cat suggests catnip if valerian doesn’t work.

Agreed that's pretty funny, @@! I think I've actually seen catnip as an ingredient in some teas, so I guess it theoretically does *something* for humans.

Pretty low-key day for me as well. Think I'm still processing some of yesterday's extra session with Dr. T to discuss drinking. There's quite a bit to unpack from that session. I'll probably write it up in the next day or two. Felt like a very connected one in terms of the therapeutic relationship as well, with Dr. T saying things like how it's his responsibility to help me with this, that it's something we're working through together. And his describing in detail the ritual of making tea when I mentioned trying the Calm tea lately as an alternative to alcohol for relaxation (his ritual was a bit more elaborate than mine...)

Just remember that Valerian is a diuretic. You may already have remembered it but it was the reason why I had to stop using it as a sleep aid

Bodily functions...I *knew* you were ex-hankster’s sock puppet!

Thanks for the reminder. I actually did forget that little fact.

Wet sock puppet!

Eta wth did i just walk in on the middle of?!

Hi all. Just wanna say hi. Spoke about u all amongst a group of therapists today. I said how, if I ever had an issue in my personal therapy I would 100% trust a group of clients (ie you lot) over any group of therapists. Received 10000000x more insight and less judgement from you over the years.

hi echos!

She is insidious.

Hi Echoes

Glad that is over. Usually my ex father in law remembers i am not keen on hugs and tries to hug me tighter which totally freaks me out and i end up in tears well i just got a normal hug as his alcohol related dementia is worsening though he remembered my termite problem. My ex mother in law tends to over hug too but she was a bit distracted.
Valerian has a really bad side effect for me if i buy it off the shelf i feel drunk and i am physically uncoordinated for three days after taking it.

Hello echoes

Reporting back from yesterday’s conversation on Valerian Root. I don’t really think it helped. I didn’t have an issue falling asleep last night but I think that’s more because I woke up at 4am Saturday morning not because of the Valerien. It didn’t really quiet down my anxiety. The capsules I have have 50mgs of Valerian Root in them and no other ingredients are listed except what the actual capsules are made of. I think today I’ll take 3 of them. One now, one this afternoon then tonight.