Video sessions

That’s a huge fear of mine - that the internet will become overloaded and just freeze. Sorry, I know how how you feel - talking on the phone is excruciating for me ... such a waste of time.

"When you are sitting in a therapist’s office, there is a certain indescribable connection that happens. It’s a mutual sharing of subtle personal, emotional and behavioral cues and expressions. Back-and-forth, the therapist and client read each other’s reactions to things. When two people are physically in the same room, there is an energy that passes between them. There is a rich, complex subtext to every sentence. There is a meaning to every subtle twitch of the corner of the mouth or eyebrow; a slight shift in position, a tremor of the foot. There is a feeling of understanding and a connection; a joining of the minds, a linking of thought, feeling and behavior that is largely unconscious, but which can be almost tangible. It’s a synergy that is difficult to put into words but which, I think, is very useful to the healing process."

I saved this passage from an articled I read a few years ago. It holds true for me even now. Video sessions lose the connection I had with him. I do not believe actual real therapy is happening through video. He is and other therapist claim you can do EMDR through video. Sorry that would never work for me. Of course i am not going to give up talking to him once a week as that would be foolish but the stress of not being with him in person is making everything else feel worse.

Not in therapy right now, but I personally would rather just talk on the phone. Being a bit camera-shy, particularly video-shy, I would just be too self-conscious. I was used to speaking to my therapists on the phone, particularly in crisis situations, so it would have felt pretty normal to do so and would have been more comfortable for me personally than trying to mess with online technology. I'm sort of old school that way I guess. Even with family, we'll text really quick things, but when it comes to needing to really talk at a distance, we'll just pick up the phone (we don't facetime generally). For me, the phone is the least unusual way to communicate if I can't be in person.

I'm glad it worked sort of. We all deserve a little bit of "normalcy" and calm. I also hate that the trauma is being brought into my house and hope against all hope this is short term. For other reasons also.

Wonder if a text back and forth therapy is possible, but I suppose video or face time, or zoom is better then can see each other’s facial expressions. For me text therapy is more appealing in a way, but then again it’s not since would be pretty impersonal.

I never tried video session and not sure I would feel comfortable. I would rather have a session with a phone call.

Trying another video session with Dr. T this afternoon. Will report back.

I had mine today. It was incredibly uncomfortable and distracting. My cat was giving me an evil look the whole time. I’d rather not do therapy at all.

Just had my first video session with T. He is trying SO hard. He “walked” me around the office so we could do things as normally as possible. He asked if there was anything I wanted to see in his office and even asked where I wanted him to sit. It is still really weird. We are both learning and trying to figure out what will work for us. I couldn’t see his eyes as well as I normally do which was hard for me. We were “off topic” a lot more than usual and I am not sure if that was because of it being phone/video or if it was because we are all distracted by the virus right now. It was good to be able to really see him.

Today's video session with Dr. T felt much better. I think something that helped me a lot was finding out how to hide the image of myself talking on the screen. It was making me really self-conscious such that I was mostly avoiding looking at the screen, so wasn't seeing T much. Once I covered that, I was looking at him much more. We joked around a little bit, so that helped, too. And I showed him a picture of my new guinea pigs. He was also just really empathetic about what I'm dealing with, in terms of D being home and really struggling with this. Which helped a lot.

So if anyone tries a video session and doesn't like it, I'd say give it another shot. Try hiding your image (I can tell you how to do that in Zoom, if that's what you're using). It's not the same as in person, not at all, but, for me at least, it's better than no therapy at all.

I was running late at work today and had to video conference with my T from there.

She and I were in the midst of talking when my boss and producer walked into the studio - they quickly apologized but it was too late - they already saw her ..

I jumped in and said, “meet my “friend C——“ They all said hi to each other ... then asked me a question and left...

Yikes, so it begins....... Lol.

Thanks LT! I had the same issue but on Face Time. I may just tape a paper up in that corner!!

I told T that someone had suggested a post-it note over top. But I said I hadn't taken one into the room with me. Dr. T: "I have a Post-It right here I could give you." Me: "What?" Dr. T: "Sorry, couldn't resist the joke." (because obviously he couldn't hand me something in cyberspace). Which made me laugh and broke the ice a bit.

Yeah my image thing was the main issue too. I kept moving positions so I didn’t look quite as weird and it was distracting me.. I think mine is cloud something and not zoom.

Someone in another thread suggested putting a post-it over the image, if you can't hide it. So maybe something to try? Or, if no post-its in your place, piece of paper and tape?

New Zealand is going into complete lockdown for four weeks (except for essential services/workers) in just over 24hrs time so i'll be joining the therapy-via-zoom club. T and i talked about it last week and have email contact between sessions so at least i'm not going into it cold without any discussion or preparation. will still be weird though, as we've never done a video session before. we've also talked about switching to phone sessions if i don't like zoom-ing, but i wanted to give it a go as i like the idea of T and i still being able to see each other. no touch though, which i know i'll struggle with.

trying to focus on the positives in at least being able to maintain weekly sessions - i really need that as i'm in isolation all by myself for the four weeks.

yeah, this is what I am afraid of. I still can't decide if I want to try video, or do a phone/walk session. I find it easier to stay silent on the phone, but video might be very difficult for me.

I'm doing my first Zoom meeting with T2 on Wednesday and T1 on Friday. Never done either so it should be interesting since I'm not super close to either yet. I've done teletherapy at the psych hospital this week for a few minutes and did it with my pdoc last month but it was at his office and weird.
Not sure if I'll have the kids this week, so that will determine how it works. Because how the heck do you occupy 4 kids for an hour so they don't interrupt? Guess they can "meet" my kids.

I had a Skype session with Pastor T last night. Like others have said seeing myself was distracting but since it's on my phone a post it note isn't too practical. I just tried to focus on him, although it was funny when he dropped his pen and was therefore out of sight for a bit while he fumbled around trying to find it. We kept the session a little lighter since it wasn't private. I was in the dining room and my parents were in the living room but I still felt pretty connected to him. Maybe 75% connected, compared to 85% connected to him in session. So that's not bad. It was good to "see" him and since we don't do touch anyway that didn't matter. With phone sessions I tend just to get quiet but with video I talk more. He basically said I was doing well and we had a six month check in to see if I was doing better than six months ago. I think so and I told him the things that I think had helped. It was a good session I think for being video.

Does anyone feel safer asking a T a question or sharing something than they are in person? Something came up today that led me to ask Dr. T something I'd been wondering for a long time about his professional life, and I think I felt more able to ask it because it was over video. And he answered, which I wasn't expecting him to, and we talked about it a bit. I wonder if he felt more able to talk about it in this format, too, or if he would have said exactly the same thing if I'd been sitting in his office? I think I also felt safer saying to him yesterday about how I was scared about him dying.


The question I asked today was

I made it through a whole session with video up! That was so stressful, but I desperately needed to see her. I miss her so so much. I need as much connection to her as I can.

I don't like the zoom sessions, but find it the best of a bad bunch of options in this particular circumstance. T is new to online sessions too so there is adjusting to do on both ends. I went into the first session with the expectation that it would be weird and likely not very connected. That was true, and we ended early. I was okay with that, there was nothing more I wanted for the session.
Going forward I know it isn't going to be the same as face to face therapy - it just can't be. But I hope to be able to keep the connection between us and keep up the momentum on some important work we were doing leading up to this.
The whole situation sucks. But so does COVID-19. There isn't any other way through this than through it.

So far my main T seems to be doing a bit more self-disclosure during teletherapy sessions. I'm not sure if it's the format or if she is trying to be somewhat genuine about her reactions since we're all in this together. In other words, it would be a little gaslighty to pretend that none of this is affecting her at all when we all know it's affecting almost everybody. I have asked her at least once how she is doing, so the information is not necessarily unwanted.

I asked her once about the thing you put under the trigger, but she declined to answer. I think it seemed too complicated to get into, regardless of what the answer is. That honestly intrigued me more, but I bet I will never know.

Zoom was too glitchy so we had to switch to FaceTime, but other than that hiccup the session went great. it surprised me how easily i was able to talk and feel the connection with T and open up stuff that i thought would be too hard while we're apart. it still sucked that we weren't in the same room, and the lack of touch was hideous (we use it quite a lot), but it was such a relief that the session went as well as it did. i don't feel so worried about my therapy falling apart while we're in lockdown now.

I'm having the exact same experience with my therapist. I'm not sure about it, and I am finding myself somewhat frustrated and disconnected. We are still finding our feet with all of this. Him and me.