Couch 213: The Tulip couch

I could see the teenage brain thing. The red/blue social distancing divide is fascinating and bizarre and ultimately utterly unsurprising to me too. I read an Atlantic article on it this morning.

I am not frustrated by what other people do or don't do because I am lucky enough to have the ability to control my surroundings and I am fairly self-contained. I think it is irresponsible and foolish -but I try to limit my self inflicted irritations to reading what therapists are saying = that is my preferred self created frustration. I did enjoy the story of the guy who didn't let his kid back in after spring break but gave him money and groceries and sent him on his way.

It helps that I already think most other people operate on only about 4-5% of their brain capacity all the time regardless of a pandemic or not. I didn't expect there to be a massive influx of intelligent behavior as opposed to dead flat stupidity and overly emotional knee jerk hysteria.

Fuzzy - pardon my crudeness but apparently he .

@@ et electric - yeah ive been reading the comments on youtube from news outlets from other areas of the country showing the trump press conferences - remember im from the state of that young lady governor! so our local comments are turning blue! - but its a good way to get a good read of whats happening from all over - at least from the wacky people who post their opinions online! Heyyyy...!

Yeah. I do know that. And my kids need to see their dad. What I was hoping to do was make two safe isolated spaces so that they could go back and forth. But that means you have to trust that the other household is going to remain isolated as well.


This is the tricky part. Yes, we have a custody agreement. AND because everything is shut down and slowed down, nothing is final. Not only is it tricky to navigate the ins and outs of social distancing and parenting together from different households, there's that worry in the back of my head about being accused of keeping them from him.

So now it's easy to decide.

ETA: Una, I think you are absolutely right. It's a valid choice, as is seeing his kids during this. Just not BOTH.

WFS, that's a really difficult situation. Could you maybe contact your lawyer?

A vendor sent me a funky little purple guy with white bulging eyes. I think it's a stress reliever. Like you squeeze him. Actually it's quite fun and entertaining. They also sent hand sanitizer!!!

WFS, I think it's important for your kids to socialize with their dad, so so maybe it'd be a good idea to set up some time for them to do something like zoom meetings? It's possible to have dinner together, play games, even workout together over video and voice, even if there's no physical closeness for a while.
It'd be the same if this were something like a bit of a longer trip abroad, just that then the two parents could have discussed things beforehand, but mixing households if there's other contacts as well is currently not a good idea.

Major Hugs. I'm relieved that your test was negative though........

Well i got my dr appt moved to May 1st, my regular pharmacy just delivered a bunch of drugs to my apartment, and the zipcar for my dr appt is reserved at a covid rate which is back in line to the normal rate it was last year, instead of the eye-gouging rate they raised it to this school year. Which i appreciate, since i will have to take the first hour or so disinfecting the darn thing. So, adventure for today is over.

Hugs, chihiro. I am so sorry you're having to face this.

I actually think of you and all of the other doctors (and nurses!) that I know when I start to feel antsy about staying home. It helps to know that keeping the virus from spreading is the biggest thing we can do to help.

I agree, and actually this is where I had already landed. We're doing a Zoom bday party for his mom tonight.

I am mostly just wanting to make sure I am not being unreasonable in stopping the in-person visits. I want to act out of best practice in this moment and not out of leftover outrage, know what I mean?

Thanks everyone. You've actually helped me steady a bit here. You rock.

Reposting idea from Twitter: If you need cash now, check for unclaimed property: Search for your unclaimed property (it’s free) – National Association of Unclaimed Property Administrators (NAUPA)

I did find a couple hundred dollars to my surprise. When it gets here I’ll turn it over to the local food bank (there were huge lines yesterday on the news).

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I sent T a message saying that I was furious with him and to cancel my next session. He sent me this email back. It didn't make me feel any better. I don't even know what to feel. I'm just so sad and angry that right now when I'm being asked to do things in my professional life that are ACTUALLY INSANE I have a therapist who is unable or unwilling to give me the kind of support I need.

Hi [c],

I hear how angry you are. Of course it is your decision to cancel the appointment, which I know you have had to do in the past as well in order to take care of yourself.

Personally, I am sad that we will not be meeting, especially given what has been happening in our sessions lately. I am also feeling worried about how things seem to be proceeding with us. At the end of our session yesterday, it sounded like you were even questioning whether or not you even should be continue meeting with me for therapy, given how badly you are feeling after our sessions these past few times. I am guessing that is part of the context of why you are cancelling on Friday. I just wanted to express my continued commitment to working with you, as well as my willingness to shift my approach to meet your needs in the treatment. In the past when these sorts of things have come up between us, we have been able to find a way through it together, in a manner that I believe has ultimately helped you in your life. I am hopeful that this will be able to happen again.

If you change your mind, please let me know, as I would still like to try to see you.

Take care,

[T]

Thanks for the reminder! I decided to check a state where I only lived very briefly and apparently I have some amount less than $500 due to me. Maybe I'll send it to the local place that provides diapers to families who need them. I'm thinking about sending them some of our stimulus money too, once we get it. I am not sure what to do with a windfall that we (hopefully!) won't really need...

My mother got called by the state board. They asked her to do teleradiology (radiology was her specialty) for her old hospital, since they’re putting most of the staff radiologists on the wards.

Someone came, set up the equipment and trained her and she’s reading films. She says it is sobering—they are almost all lung films, of various stages of covid-caused pneumonia. The occasional broken leg or head injury is a pleasant change.

But at least she can help from home.

If I didn't know that we live in different locations, I'd swear your T was my T. Because the part I bolded sounds eerily like things he's said to me before, like when we were in rupture. How we've worked through things together before and he's confident we could do it again. Either right before I briefly terminated or right after I came back, I told him how yes, we worked through things, but it was also incredibly painful, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to do that again. And how it's so much more difficult for me than him. So I get it...and it sucks... I'm sorry. You need support right now, not...whatever this is.

Kind of in a similar situation as WFS I think with H staying at his mom's since the 16th. Our agreement was to switch off with the kids of who would stay in the house doing a half of a week each. But with the shelter in place, I don't think I have anywhere I could go for half the week for the next month or so while this lasts. I'm sheltering in place as much as possible, only sticking to the essential things. But I think it's unsafe and stupid to be staying over at my family's multiple times a month right now because of what H did. I think he should be the one to stay at his mom's during this whole thing, yet I really don't need him or his mother saying I'm keeping the kids away from him during this especially with CPS still involved

ATAT - I am glad your mother can help and that it is at home.

My T has said something similar too. I think it's a therapisty ploy to reel the client back in when they are justifiably furious with the therapist. I mean, it's also not wrong in terms of how strong relationships generally work, but still...

Speaking of furious, @@, you might want to read this article that new cat posted.

Can't be by new cat, because my song is SO much better than that.

That reminds me, I haven't sung it at her yet today...

Hi people of the couch. Just posting something because I can’t shake it.

I was in a bad car accident last night. The woman plowed right into me going 50 miles an hour in a residential area where the speed limit is 25. She totaled my car. When she plowed into me my entire face hit the steering wheel and I was bleeding everywhere. Luckily I was able to “walk” off the scene with just a concussion and facial bruising. I had an xray
Done and nothing is broken. My mouth is really hurting because of how hard my face hit the steering wheel but surprisingly none of my teeth were knocked out, but they are now shifted to the right even though none are loose. I’m okay. Just really shaken up. I asked her what the heck happened and she said she’s so sorry she didn’t see me. I wasn’t even stopped, there was nobody in front of me. I was driving along minding my own business then BOOM. I’ve been feeling slightly luckily lately working for doctors and managing to somehow steer clear of the virus so far, but then this happened last night. I can’t sleep and my head, back neck and face is killing me.

Okay I’m sorry. I know I’m not really posting anymore. So carry on. I was just hoping writing it will take some power out and calm my nerves a bit.

Thinking of you all. Stay safe in this horrible alternate reality we are living in. Hugs to everyone. No kidding. Everyone.

Oh jersey i am so sorry. But of course you can post here. This is your home.

Thanks Una.

Hugs, Jersey. Scary. I'm glad that nothing was broken. I hope writing it out helped dump it here so you're not holding it by yourself.