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  #776  
Old May 12, 2020, 07:35 PM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
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I'm realizing that something else I'm missing is singing along to songs while driving. Because I don't really drive anymore. So right now (since realizing that) I'm just singing along badly in my house and hoping D and H won't say anything (well, D did ask me what one song was, but she seemed curious, not horrified). Maybe I need to just go sit in my car and play music and sing. I mean, I'm trying to desensitize myself to being outside/in public anyway, and being in my car is one way of doing that (plan developed with T regarding my recent fear of being outside/around people).
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  #777  
Old May 12, 2020, 07:38 PM
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Thanks, chihirochild.
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  #778  
Old May 12, 2020, 07:51 PM
Quietmind 2 Quietmind 2 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by susannahsays View Post
It might be different in your country, QM, but when I previously transferred a number out from a parent's plan to my own plan, it didn't require any involvement from them or their permission.
I hope you're right! Couch 214: The chihiro couch

Honestly right now, sure I woke up in the middle of the night from a panic attack, and I'm living in my friend's living room. but it's a relief to not be oppressively monitored anymore. Plus she has 3 cats and one of them likes to investigate me and rub her body and head wherever I've been because I took over half the living room lol. I sleep on a foldable bed and its way less comfortable than my own bed but I feel safer, and my friend doesn't care what I do as long as I'm relatively tidy. She doesn't even sweep the flat much (definitely unacceptable in my household) but who cares lol. She told me not to worry when I volunteered to do chores since she took me in.
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  #779  
Old May 12, 2020, 08:05 PM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
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Hugs, QM. Animals can often tell when you're struggling, so that cat is probably trying to support you. I'm glad you had a friend's place that you could go to.

Possible trigger:
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  #780  
Old May 12, 2020, 08:44 PM
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SheHulk07 SheHulk07 is offline
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This separation is causing all kinds of feelings for me and I feel like it's one big internal tug of war. One minute I feel like it's the right decision, the next I'm questioning if I'm overreacting. My 5 year old cried for H last night and made me feel like a horrible parent for taking her dad away from her in a time like this.
Possible trigger:
I feel like T1 mostly expects me to keep making plans for each week, and we don't talk about how this is really affecting me. Maybe that is supposed to be helpful to have a to do thing, like this week I was supposed to talk to my case worker about the in home therapy for me. But it doesn't help when I'm beating myself up over this and all the other feelings...feeling like this is a major loss of a relationship, my identity, my dream of having an intact family.
Possible trigger:
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  #781  
Old May 12, 2020, 09:30 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
I'm realizing that something else I'm missing is singing along to songs while driving. Because I don't really drive anymore.
Why don't you just go for a drive? Just get on the highway and drive out for an hour or so and turn around and come home?
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Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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  #782  
Old May 12, 2020, 09:39 PM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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For some bizarre reason, now things are slowly starting to open up, I feel like I blew the pandemic. Didn’t use the time at home wisely enough.

Also I feel again like I did in late February, when I think most people had a sense something big and likely unpleasant was coming.
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  #783  
Old May 12, 2020, 10:08 PM
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ElectricManatee ElectricManatee is offline
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That thing where you use the time at home to become a better person or whatever seems emphatically optional to me. You're living through a pandemic. You get a gold star for sleeping, eating, and maybe occasionally showering. Anything else is extra credit. And we all know how you feel about excessive extra credit...
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  #784  
Old May 13, 2020, 02:54 AM
Quietmind 2 Quietmind 2 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
Hugs, QM. Animals can often tell when you're struggling, so that cat is probably trying to support you. I'm glad you had a friend's place that you could go to.

Possible trigger:
Hugs hugs hugs
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LonesomeTonight
  #785  
Old May 13, 2020, 02:57 AM
Quietmind 2 Quietmind 2 is offline
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Update:
@susannahsays , @LonesomeTonight
I basically have to get a new number and plan. They won't detach my line without written and signed authorisation of my Mum...and we both need to go down together to a branch with our national id...

I'm getting my own cheap plan with another telco.
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  #786  
Old May 13, 2020, 05:32 AM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quietmind 2 View Post
Update:
@susannahsays , @LonesomeTonight
I basically have to get a new number and plan. They won't detach my line without written and signed authorisation of my Mum...and we both need to go down together to a branch with our national id...

I'm getting my own cheap plan with another telco.

Oh, that sucks.
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  #787  
Old May 13, 2020, 05:35 AM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
Why don't you just go for a drive? Just get on the highway and drive out for an hour or so and turn around and come home?

H has suggested that, too. Lately, driving is making me anxious (really, anything outside the house, almost an agoraphobia kinda thing), and I'm working with T to build up to being able to do that again, an exposure therapy thing. Like the past couple days, I've just gone and sat in the car, turned it on, and sat there for 2, then 5 minutes. Up next will be backing it out, driving a block or two in my development, then parking again.
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  #788  
Old May 13, 2020, 05:39 AM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SheHulk07 View Post
This separation is causing all kinds of feelings for me and I feel like it's one big internal tug of war. One minute I feel like it's the right decision, the next I'm questioning if I'm overreacting. My 5 year old cried for H last night and made me feel like a horrible parent for taking her dad away from her in a time like this.
Possible trigger:
I feel like T1 mostly expects me to keep making plans for each week, and we don't talk about how this is really affecting me. Maybe that is supposed to be helpful to have a to do thing, like this week I was supposed to talk to my case worker about the in home therapy for me. But it doesn't help when I'm beating myself up over this and all the other feelings...feeling like this is a major loss of a relationship, my identity, my dream of having an intact family.
Possible trigger:

Hugs, SheHulk. It makes sense that you're having mixed emotions. But it's ultimately your H's actions that have led to this. You're being a good parent. I'd talk to T1 about all this--maybe you need a different approach right now if the "do something each week" isn't helping you.
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  #789  
Old May 13, 2020, 05:57 AM
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chihirochild chihirochild is offline
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Another early morning walk

Couch 214: The chihiro couch
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  #790  
Old May 13, 2020, 08:38 AM
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chihirochild chihirochild is offline
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OMG y'all we can watch the Broadway version of CATS on Friday!!!

Maybe it can cleanse the movie version from the palates of those who were unlucky enough to witness it?
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  #791  
Old May 13, 2020, 09:36 AM
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SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
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Monday I was halfway crisis-y. Yesterday I was very anxious. Today I am depressed. What is going on with me? This is not good. After weeks of being pretty stable (a day or two here or there) but now three days in a row?!!! Please do not let this be a sign of a downturn!!!! I'm at work so I am trying to think of some ways I can make myself feel better. I put my sweatshirt on even though it's pretty nice inside the building but being "wrapped up" always seems to help. I got myself and my coworker a Starbucks this morning so that's kind of a treat.
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  #792  
Old May 13, 2020, 09:41 AM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
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Hugs, Kit...
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  #793  
Old May 13, 2020, 09:43 AM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chihirochild View Post
OMG y'all we can watch the Broadway version of CATS on Friday!!!

Maybe it can cleanse the movie version from the palates of those who were unlucky enough to witness it?

Y’all just want me to shut up about it, right?
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  #794  
Old May 13, 2020, 09:49 AM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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There used to be some fairly terrible sit-com where the next door neighbor or a friend was a dancer in Cats. I think a running joke was how long she had been playing in that one show.
__________________
Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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atisketatasket
  #795  
Old May 13, 2020, 09:57 AM
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chihirochild chihirochild is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
Y’all just want me to shut up about it, right?
Nah -- the badness of it all is an endless source of entertainment!
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  #796  
Old May 13, 2020, 10:22 AM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
There used to be some fairly terrible sit-com where the next door neighbor or a friend was a dancer in Cats. I think a running joke was how long she had been playing in that one show.

Was it Caroline in the City maybe? (No idea how I pulled that...)
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  #797  
Old May 13, 2020, 10:59 AM
ArtleyWilkins ArtleyWilkins is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chihirochild View Post
OMG y'all we can watch the Broadway version of CATS on Friday!!!

Maybe it can cleanse the movie version from the palates of those who were unlucky enough to witness it?
Not a fan. Perhaps my least favorite show ever.
  #798  
Old May 13, 2020, 01:04 PM
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SheHulk07 SheHulk07 is offline
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H came over unexpectedly this morning, and I'm finding myself already annoyed. He came in and saved the day when my son was upset. I don't know why I'm annoyed by this. Probably because I felt like I had a handle on it and he comes in for 2 seconds and my son stops. And he texted me that my daughter was telling him that she wants him to come back home so we can be a family again. Like I don't feel guilty enough about that.
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  #799  
Old May 13, 2020, 01:16 PM
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SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
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HUGS @SheHulk07
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  #800  
Old May 13, 2020, 01:32 PM
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SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
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My wrist and arm is bothering me right now. It might be a hallucination or delusion--not sure which--or it might be real. It's making it hard to focus on other stuff though.
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