Does your T reply to text or email between sessions?

In the last session my T said I can email her to let her know how my appointment went with a charity organisation about something that happened earlier this year.

She is quite inconsistent replying texts and emails. She sometimes replies and sometimes don't. I sent her an email yesterday and didn't hear from her.

I am struggling to talk at the moment so I suggested if I can write things down first and email her before the session, and we can talk more about it during the session. Not sure how she thinks about that, have any of you tried this with your T?

I am starting to try and talk about CSA and trauma. It's so hard to get the words out, and writing is definitely easier than talking.

She said you could email to let her know . . . That doesn't necessarily imply or require reply. Many clients email simply as a way to getting thoughts out of their heads, and reply isn't always needed until session time. Did you specifically ask for a reply to your email? Remember, this is the weekend; she may not reply until she's back to work on Monday.

My T ALWAYS replies to emails. Many moons ago, we agreed that she would reply - something short and simple (more of an acknowledgement of receipt). Depending on the content of the email and my state of mind, she might write back something encouraging or validating. But I never expect anything other than: got your email.

And I usually start session by giving her things to read; sometimes I find it hard to start, sometimes I find it hard to talk about certain things, and sometimes it's just easier to hand in a written form of my thoughts and experiences.

Good luck!

my therapist does correspond with me via text and email but she too is inconsistent with replying. she is ok with it though. i think sometimes it verges on becoming to similar to a session which would need to be paid for but has not been scheduled so that is when communication breaks down, but i am always texting what is on my mind and then bringing it up in session. she never will but usually asks what i want to talk about. that has to come from me.

My T always responds to my text or email.
Most times it is an emoji, just acknowledging receipt.
Thats just fine for most stuff I might send.
Often, a single line of encoragement.

Only a very few times have we had a 'conversation" via text.
Once when I received results of DHs cancer diagnosis and I was freaking out a bit.
Another when I was having bad anxiety on anniversary of my mothers traumatic death.

Once in a while I will send info that I want to discuss mext session but want it out of my head immediately.
Then I will tell her no reply needed.

She does not do email. She does not usually do text. "I don't usually text with clients except for scheduling, but I tolerate texts from you." I know that sounds kind of mean, and it did upset me a bit at the time. However, my texts are frequently volatile and angry - so they really are something that it's reasonable to describe the recipient as "tolerating." And I appreciate that she responds to my texts even though text communication is not usually something she utilizes. She has even texted me a few times without me texting first. For example, she texted to let me know the local strawberry patch is open despite COVID-19 because she knows I love that place. She texted me Happy Easter. That felt nice, that she would think to text me - I don't have anyone other than family who just texts me.

My T always replies. A former T only replied to certain messages and I found that very tough. I used to try and figure out what kind of messages would get a response so it created a dynamic that I don't believe was helpful to me on hindsight.

Generally I only contact my T between sessions about scheduling type issues.

Recently I wanted to share something I had written with my T, and we agreed beforehand that I would send it to him via email and we would talk about it in session. He did respond but just to say he got my email. It seemed to work okay. But mostly I prefer talking about things directly and I don't want much contact out of session.

I have written notes and email to him about things. He is very generous with his replies and has never charged me for them.

Somethings I don’t like writing down because then someone else could read it. Although there are so many things I would write I think he would get sick of hearing from me pretty fast, so I try not to do it too often. I imagine him doing things at home or with his family and then his phone goes off and it’s me being A needy pain in the *** and it makes me want to hide and throw up.

I think it’s a good idea for you to email her if you think it would help or be easier, I know it’s so hard to talk about.

She replies back when she is able to

My advice is to bring up the topic for discussion.

When we first started working together we discussed texting. She is okay with me texting her as long as it doesn't get out of control; we will discuss it if it does. Sje warned me that she doesnt always checking her practice number so it may take a bit for her to reply. When she checks her messages and she can tell I am struggling she we call me because she does like to discuss things like that over text. She is cool with me contacting her this way.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked her about texting her when I write about emotions (anger, frustrations, etc). We had a coversation about never texting her if I am suicidal (which we both know I never would) and that she will only call id she feels I am struggling and ask for her to call. Otherwise we would discuss it at the next appointment. She will try to bring iy up but if she forgets and I want to discuss it I need to bring it up. I told her that was fine but requested she jusr reply that she got it. She was cool with that. I have tried it once and she replied the next day and said she recieved it and and wished me a lovely day.

When I initially brought up the subject I could tell by her facial expression her first instinct wqs not happy. We discussed it though and found a way that worked for the both of us.

Mine replies pretty frequently. Maybe every other email. At first she said she couldn’t because of privacy reasons. Now all of a sudden she’s able to. So idk.

Mine typically replies to emails the next morning, sometimes sooner. Though I emailed him yesterday afternoon and haven't heard back yet, so I'm concerned he's annoyed with me. Yes, I know it's Saturday, but he typically replies on the weekends and even when he's out of town. He charges if it's a particularly long reply, though that's not too often. But his policy is, he always responds in some way. Which I appreciate.

He only allows texts for scheduling, and he usually responds within a few hours for those.

Both my Ts reply back to all my emails. T replies the next morning, L replies before noon the next day. T only replies short replies, L usually does long replies. Both T and L require me to include what I want in a reply (i.e. encouragement, reassurance, something specific, etc.). I do not get charged for emails, and I can basically email as much as I want. Though, since T isn't my active T, I'm only supposed to email her once a month.

I think it depends on the precedent set. If the T says to email or text any time and they will get back to you, then I believe they have an obligation to reply. After all it was their statement. If the T says they will reply via text then they need to clarify what that reply would look like. Is it an acknowledgement of text received? Or is it something more in depth ?
Other than that I don’t agree with texting or emailing for any reason other than scheduling. This is because ultimately you are paying for their time and when they are not working they get to live their life with time off. Also I worry that electronic info could get into the wrong hands. Or In cases of therapist trauma these emails and text could be used against you.

To follow up on this, I ended up texting him (I acknowledged in the text that I knew I was breaking the rules) to ask if everything was OK. He said he'd reply to my email right away, and in the email, said he'd needed a break from his practice for a day. Which I completely understand. But this is also a case where I wish he had a separate professional email account, where he could have set up a sort of out of office message maybe? But it's the same as his personal one (same with cell phone). It just would have been helpful to get something like "I'm taking today off, will reply Sunday" for example.

He said other stuff in email, too, like acknowledging my anxiety. I imagine he'll charge for it all, and I respect that.

Uh, wtf at your therapist using his personal email for his practice. That strikes me as all wrong for multiple reasons.

Not only do I doubt he has instituted any sort of intensified security measures, but what if his personal emails were subpoenaed for some reason? The same goes for his phone. That exposes protected health information. It's just stupid, really - especially when he could just get a Google Voice number and wouldn't have to get an additional phone. The one I see uses her personal phone as well and I don't think much of it.

He technically has a professional one (that he uses for billing), but it forwards to the same account. So when I email him (and he replies), it's from his personal account. Which is on hotmail because apparently people still use that!

Also, he said he wouldn't charge for any of the outside communication, because he's being more lenient on that with clients due to Covid. Which I appreciate. Though I did a lot of communication (email and text) so I feel like I should compensate him in some way...But then, I had an extra session this week, so...

Lmao I'm even more disgusted now. Sounds like he's being lazy and complacent about securing client data.

I didn't even realize that Hotmail was still a thing?

apparently it is!

Yeah...I mean, he also uses the same phone for personal and professional (including texting), so I could see that being an issue as well. Though he doesn't actually have me in there as a contact--he said he just recognizes my number.

Ouch about the Hotmail thing. I still use a hotmail address. Didn’t realize that there was something to be judged about by using that.

Anyway, my T does not do text. She does use email, but has very clear boundaries in that she is not available outside of office hours, period, unless otherwise arranged. I can write all I want, but she will only respond if I request it and it’s during a workday.

In fairness, though, we have an arrangement where she does check in phone calls with me every non session day she is in the office. She only works three days a week, and I have an appt one of them, so two calls per week. They are short, although with her reduced workload these days they can be slightly longer, and I’m not charged for them.

I wish I had the resources to do what I see people do on here- multiple appts a week, constant reassurance with emails or text. If only I had more money, maybe I could be more important, too.

I don't think it's really about money, just different therapists. My current T has reduced her rate massively for me but makes herself available during the week without any extra charges. I once saw a T for free at an agency for more than a year and she also responded to messages although not all of them. I was allowed to contact her whenever I needed to. So it just depends. I know the money issue is a tough one however anyone looks at it, but I like to think most therapists aren't motivated by it, only insofar as needing to make a living goes.