Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

daisydid · Jul 15, 2020 at 11:37 AM

dear god you’re such a ****.

Lemoncake · 02:23 PM

I didn't really notice not seeing you today at 10.30am.- It was seven mins past that before I even realized. It's not my usual session time and I won't be coming on friday.

I get that I'm making it harder for myself. and I did feel lower today.
.
I paid tuition fees for the upcoming year and now with a significantly lower bank balance I'm just feeling anxious about money.

I have to collect the confirmation letter tomorrow and submit it, but everything with that is finally getting sorted out.

I also messaged old best friend number 3/4. One at a time. I'm just sorry about hurting everyone. It will be the one year anniversary on the 7th of august for my grandmother and every 28th of the month is hard because of X. It will be three months now.

*Beth* · 05:54 PM

I'm losing sympathy for your "out sick" cancellations. It seems that the least you could do is shoot me an email of update. I'm weary of being disappointed by people, you definitely included.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 15, 2020 at 03:27 PM

Dear T,
Why couldn't I say today that the handshake is part of what I miss? I feel too afraid to admit that.... and it's also just being in the room with you. I mean, at this point, I miss being in the room with anyone other than my D or H. But I also miss being with you in the actual therapy space, not just the virtual one...

Thanks for letting me cry on your virtual shoulder today and being empathetic. Sorta wish I'd heard about my car before session because that's another thing stressing me out right now...but we can talk Friday, and maybe by then they'll have been able to diagnose it.

Love you,
LT

daisydid · Jul 15, 2020 at 03:42 PM

I hate this feeling and I hate you for allowing this.

ArtieTheSequal · Jul 15, 2020 at 05:54 PM

i hope that we are good today. 2 weeks ago was a disaster.

ArtieTheSequal · 07:49 PM

Thank you, thank you. We were and we are.

eta: and I am really glad we talked about that word I hate so much!!! thank you!

Elio · Jul 15, 2020 at 08:38 PM

yeah, talking about schedule changes never feel good. I feel like you so missed the mark with timing. I worked through it I think ok. I wasn't in my adult headspace and that made it harder.

Sigh.

ArtieTheSequal · Jul 15, 2020 at 09:12 PM

that was kinda neat today when we did that hand-thing at the beginning like we've been doing to connect. i swear my hand started to feel warm. it shouldn't have surprised me, it's energy, kinda like when i do reiki, h says my hands start to feel really warm after a bit when i practice on him. same kinda thing. video sessions aren't so bad, i guess, but being in the same room is still better. and you were so darn cute today when you got so excited talking about my dream that you apparently actually forgot about the stupid virus for a moment.

susannahsays · Jul 15, 2020 at 10:04 PM

I'm a tiny bit high and accidentally looked at late night imgur because I didn't know what it was. Now I'm obviously pretty creeped out.

ArtieTheSequal · Jul 15, 2020 at 10:14 PM

today's session was one of those where i want to figure out how to keep seeing you and not change to somebody else. but once h's pandemic unemployment ends, i'm going to have to say bye bye again. he can't go back to work yet so.... no more therapy.

ArtieTheSequal · Jul 16, 2020 at 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

today's session was one of those where i want to figure out how to keep seeing you and not change to somebody else. but once h's pandemic unemployment ends, i'm going to have to say bye bye again. he can't go back to work yet so.... no more therapy.

And I want to add that when transference isn't rearing its difficult head we sure do damn good work together. Yesterday was some good stuff.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 16, 2020 at 05:35 PM

Dear T,
Sorry for the pathetic email, but it’s how I’m feeling after getting that news. Plus the financial issue With the bank is still unresolved. And I haven’t heard back about my car and have a bad feeling about it—not sure how water damage and electrical problem could possibly be a good combination...I wish you would reply tonight but you most likely won’t. And I see you at 1 tomorrow but I had to get all that out. I imagine tomorrow will be another weepy session...
Love,
LT

ArtieTheSequal · Jul 16, 2020 at 10:35 PM

you know what i hate the most about video sessions? it's that because i am talking to you online, i feel like it's a video i should be able to go back and watch whenever I want!! man, I wish I could watch yesterday's session! it was soooo good.

puzzclar · Jul 16, 2020 at 11:50 PM

I said nothing to med provider. She ran late as it was. But she didn't seem mad. But I gave her the book title. I hope she reads it!

growlycat · Jul 17, 2020 at 01:44 AM

Dear T
I’m used to a zillion years of therapy but why does your vacation have me questioning everything? Whether you are even helping me or not?

LonesomeTonight · Jul 17, 2020 at 05:47 AM

Dear T,
I have this stupid fear that you're going to be annoyed with me, that you'll realize I was wording things in the hopes that you'd reply last night. I hope my other email saying I just needed to get things out, that we can talk more in session will somehow help. And it's not like I called or even texted you. OK, trying to talk myself out of that fear....

I wish we could talk for 2 hours today. Or 3. Or just like all day... I wish I could actually see you, to sit in your office. That would give me some sort of comfort...
Love,
LT

LostOnTheTrail · Jul 17, 2020 at 05:55 AM

Wow,

Those sessions that feel faintly surgical are always hard, and significantly harder through teletherapy. We really did a deep dive yesterday.
I have to assume that you won't be surprised to hear from me over the next few days, if I can find the damn words.

Thank you for being there, thank you for the heads up about the summer, and thank you for not taking a long time off.
I don't think I could handle that.

SlumberKitty · Jul 17, 2020 at 10:32 AM

Dear T: I wish you would tell me what time(s) you have available on the 1st. I feel needy asking you again. I couldn't help cancelling my appointment for next week. Esther really needs to go to the vet. I know you are working at your other job but maybe you could get back to me like tomorrow? Kit

LonesomeTonight · Jul 17, 2020 at 01:08 PM

Dear T,
Thank you for all of that. The thing you said at the end, how this would be a lot for anyone to handle, that meant a lot. And mentioning all the stressors going on in the background for me every day, then this other stuff on top of it. It helps to know that it makes sense that I'm not coping very well right now. That it's not because I'm weak or something. But that it's a lot to be dealing with. And glad you confirmed that you're not annoyed at all about the emails.
Love you,
LT

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

My Support Forums

daisydid Member Member Since Oct 2018 Location: the astral plane Posts: 493 5 375 hugs given	Jul 15, 2020 at 11:37 AM #361 dear god you’re such a ****.

Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 5 23.7k hugs given	Jul 15, 2020 at 03:14 PM #363 I'm losing sympathy for your "out sick" cancellations. It seems that the least you could do is shoot me an email of update. I'm weary of being disappointed by people, you definitely included. __________________ Last edited by Beth; Jul 15, 2020 at 05:54 PM..

daisydid Member Member Since Oct 2018 Location: the astral plane Posts: 493 5 375 hugs given	Jul 15, 2020 at 03:42 PM #365 I hate this feeling and I hate you for allowing this.

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert of my soul Posts: 7,530 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,957 hugs given	Jul 15, 2020 at 05:54 PM #366 i hope that we are good today. 2 weeks ago was a disaster.

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert of my soul Posts: 7,530 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,957 hugs given	Jul 15, 2020 at 07:02 PM #367 Thank you, thank you. We were and we are. eta: and I am really glad we talked about that word I hate so much!!! thank you! Last edited by ArtieTheSequal; Jul 15, 2020 at 07:49 PM..

Elio ............... Member Since Sep 2006 Location: in my head Posts: 2,913 18 8,780 hugs given	Jul 15, 2020 at 08:38 PM #368 yeah, talking about schedule changes never feel good. I feel like you so missed the mark with timing. I worked through it I think ok. I wasn't in my adult headspace and that made it harder. Sigh.

susannahsays Grand Magnate Member Since Jun 2018 Location: Somewhere Posts: 3,355 6 1 hugs given	Jul 15, 2020 at 10:04 PM #370 I'm a tiny bit high and accidentally looked at late night imgur because I didn't know what it was. Now I'm obviously pretty creeped out. __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert of my soul Posts: 7,530 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,957 hugs given	Jul 15, 2020 at 10:14 PM #371 today's session was one of those where i want to figure out how to keep seeing you and not change to somebody else. but once h's pandemic unemployment ends, i'm going to have to say bye bye again. he can't go back to work yet so.... no more therapy.

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert of my soul Posts: 7,530 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,957 hugs given	Jul 16, 2020 at 10:35 PM #374 you know what i hate the most about video sessions? it's that because i am talking to you online, i feel like it's a video i should be able to go back and watch whenever I want!! man, I wish I could watch yesterday's session! it was soooo good.

puzzclar Elder Member Since Jan 2010 Location: Where? US Posts: 5,621 14 101 hugs given	Jul 16, 2020 at 11:50 PM #375 I said nothing to med provider. She ran late as it was. But she didn't seem mad. But I gave her the book title. I hope she reads it!

growlycat Therapy Ninja Member Since Jan 2007 Location: How did I get here? Posts: 10,308 17 16.1k hugs given	Jul 17, 2020 at 01:44 AM #376 Dear T I’m used to a zillion years of therapy but why does your vacation have me questioning everything? Whether you are even helping me or not?

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 6 117.7k hugs given	Jul 17, 2020 at 10:32 AM #379 Dear T: I wish you would tell me what time(s) you have available on the 1st. I feel needy asking you again. I couldn't help cancelling my appointment for next week. Esther really needs to go to the vet. I know you are working at your other job but maybe you could get back to me like tomorrow? Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA