Couch 216: The Baseball Couch

This is why we need narration on documentaries.

They lady ahead of me told the girl about her week! I feel sorry for the checkout people sometimes.

A girl i went to high school with was my checkout lady once. Like recently, like 10 years ago or so. Oh yeah - i think around our 40 year reunion.

I wrote a long response about your encounter being interesting but i lost it somehow

I didnt know her that well. She had had a pretty normal ladies life, kids, grandkids, no career. I felt weird being a divorced retired career lady.

Speaking of high school, I find it difficult to believe I graduated 40 years ago this month. That is just... wow. I do not feel old enough to be able to say that.

I’m trying to work up the courage to schedule an intake appointment with a new t, but I’m so scared. What if I’m making a mistake? What if my t is being ethical and I’m fine? Even just the thought of starting over after 3.5 years is terrifying.

Today I am Sad Tacos. My biological mother called me tonight. I didn’t answer. Every time she tries to contact me, I get really sad. It’s better that she’s not in my life, but it hurts.

One of my older brothers thinks he has Covid. He told me that 8 of his coworkers have it and he started running a fever of 101.8 last night. I don't know if having a benign optic nerve tumor puts him at higher risk but it still worries me because he went through radiation last year for it. And he's my big bro.

Session with H's T went interesting. He started crying when talking about his childhood and not feeling good enough for his parents because of DV in the house.

Hugs, SheHulk. How did H react when she was saying some of that stuff? Feel free to PM me if you don't want to post here.

The pile of stones or cairn in Finland was most likely a trail marker

So there will be baseball. Yay, baseball couch!

Although they’re trying to cut down on extra inning games by starting every extra inning with a runner on second. Absolute heresy.

Yeah wow. Fifty for me. It did not turn out AT ALL like i had expected or wanted. SOME things did, some things were cool. I had an interest in psychology and the movie The Three Faces of Eve caught my eye at a very tender age! So that was cool. So being here is very cool.

H and I just went for a drive a little closer to the base of the mountains where the wildfires are. They're scary but I'm also fascinated by them. We did not get anywhere near where the crews are working of course, or to be in any danger. We didn't even go as far as where the roads are closed off. I just wanted a clearer view to get some better pics because of my somewhat morbid fascination with the whole thing and wanting a record of it. It's something else up there. I took a 17 second movie on super-zoom so it's kinda blurry.

And that’s not the worst of it. The DH in the National League? Aaagh.

Atisketatasket you're kidding, right? With the starting each overtime inning with a runner on second? Tell me you jest. I shudder to think what madness they'll think of for football come autumn. I mean, if our goal is to make the baseball games shorter there are a ton of ideas....

Haha. Why don't they just load the bases every inning? More pressure on the pitchers...

May I suggest Lundy Bancroft's book "why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men"? He's a DV specialist and his book explains a lot. Including issues of safety. He counsels perpetrators and while he does contact their partners to get details on the abuse, he NEVER involves them in the perp's therapy and calls perp's out on their BS.

"I was abused" is a classic excuse perpetrators use, among numerous other excuses. Another one is getting upset that you're justifiably fearful, angry, hurt, withdrawn etc.

Lundy states bluntly that since they know the effects of abuse themselves, then shouldn't they be less likely to abuse?

Abuse is a choice. Not an issue of drunkeness, mental illness, an abusive childhood or past relationship etc.

Your H is very unlikely to change for the better unless he unlearns his abusive beliefs and worldview and chooses to stop abusing. He will only get worse if nothing changes. You do not deserve to be abused, and neither do your children.

It's okay to get a second opinion.Sometimes breaks can be good. You can always go back if you want to. What kind of ethical behaviour has old T shown?

I have a session in just over three hours. I sent R an email yesterday with my latest artwork.
This state of suspended animation is really getting to me.

I've fought so hard for so long to retain my composure, and these days I feel like I could give way at any time.

I agree that a second opinion can be helpful. It's definitely helped a few times when I was struggling with conflicts/ruptures with Dr. T. Or just to see someone else to get a different perspective for a while. I know it can feel like starting over, but it's not, really. It's like starting in the middle, because you probably already have a better sense of what issues are most important. I found it easier to open up more quickly to Dr. T because I'd already talked about certain things with ex-T, so it didn't have the "first time I ever told someone" thing. Good luck!

I started with a new T when my old T and I were at an impasse. It was hugely helpful for me to make enough sense of the situation to explain it to another person, and it was helpful (and so validating!) to hear the new therapist's outside perspective. I did eventually go back to my old T (there was nothing unethical in our situation) and I still see the new T too. It's been a really good thing for me, so I don't think you have much to lose by at least testing out the new T. Based on what I've read of your other thread, you could really use some help making sense of what your therapist has done because it seems pretty inappropriate to me.

As an avid NL fan - I cannot - just cannot fathom this

Alas, no: MLB to use the runner-on-second rule for extra innings this year

Between this and the DH, 2020 has finally gone too far.

I think you’re right and it will be good to get another opinion, even if it could make me more confused at first. In regards to your question about my Ts behavior, he’s shared things with me that are questionable, but it’s all because I asked him, so it’s partially my fault. He’s shared that he thinks I’m very attractive, has had fantasies about me, and has thought about me while doing something sexual. If you want to know more there’s a whole thread about it on the romantic subforum
@ElectricManatee @LonesomeTonight and @Lemoncake, thank you for the advice and support. I called one T and left her a voicemail, so we’ll see if she gets back to me. I’m really nervous!