Back after a long time

I haven’t been here at psych central for almost a year. Still with the same t. No one ever crossed any lines so we continue on. Covid made everything go to teletherapy which I hate. T is on vacation which is always hard but thought I was used to it by now.

I am questioning whether he is helping me at all or I’m just too attached to him. I don’t like my options locally. Thinking of talking to someone on betterheath maybe as a consult but they seem to want a monthly enrollment? Any thoughts welcome. Feeling lost

Welcome back! Have you thought about trying out a therapist who is less local? If you're in the U.S., the therapist usually just has to be in the same state to see you. Since most therapists are offering telehealth anyway, geography is less of a factor right now and probably will be for quite some time.

Thanks manatee. Yes I’m looking at better help.com maybe.

I've been with my T for nearly five years and have had all kinds of feelings towards and about him in that time. (like, ALL THE FEELS). I have worked with an adjunct therapist on several occasions, when my feelings were confusing, or I felt like they might be getting in the way, or when I worried that staying would only lead to more hurt, but I was too attached to leave, etc. I found it helpful each time. I basically processed my therapy relationship with these other therapists and I learned and grew a lot in doing so. My primary T knew about it each time, was supportive, and actually referred me to the other therapists. I'm willing to share more details about this if you want, but would probably be more comfortable doing that by PM.

welcome back growly. I hope you're able to figure out a good option.

Hi growly!!!

So good to see you, growly! I think of you and hope you’re well every time I see Kashi bars.

I tried one of the teletherapy services once. I hated my “match” therapist—like in my one session with her she was smoking and at one point blew smoke right at her camera lens. I gave up then. I do think the ability to message a therapist and get a response, as the sites promise, might be useful, I just didn’t stick around to be matched with another therapist.

Oh yeah, I saw that in your original post. I meant talking to a private practice therapist in a different city in your state. Travel isn't a concern right now since you will be doing telehealth anyway. Then you could have a consult with somebody without having to sign up for a subscription at BetterHelp.

Hi growlycat, nice to see you again.

Good to see you back on here Growly , I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering how you were. These are strange times for things that come up , are different or we need to sort out , so always good to voice your thoughts and feelings here.

Great to see you back Growlycat hugs

i started to try betterhelp once, but i didn't like the looks of the therapist they matched me up with (got weird vibes or something, I dunno) and i couldn't figure out how to request a different one so I gave up on it. I might try again and see if I get matched with somebody different this time.

Hi growly!

Good to see you, Growly!

What concerns me about any of the on-line therapy businesses is the business model. By definition, they generally are low-paying jobs that attract professionals who are either supplementing other employment, or not working in other contexts for a variety of potentially troublesome reasons: new with no experience, retired and maybe out of touch, problematic prior professional employment, licensing issues in a prior location, just general incompetence, and an inherent lack of connection to the local professional environment. And the other issue that I have less confidence in is practices surrounding HIPAA compliance, record keeping, security.

I like Manatee's suggestion of searching out a private practice T in a more liberal area of your state, since you'd be meeting in a telehealth way anyway.

Thanks all
And I miss you all too!!

I’ve been looking locally but disappointed in my search so far (too young, questionable education or religious- centered therapy etc).

Kashi made a mistake by dangling a potential future friendship as a possibility. It some ways he is sincere but with further probing by me I’m getting a picture of a very limited and unsatisfying friendship. He is an amazingly caring and well meaning person but man his skills could be better.

I love him but always try to see him through a realistic lense if I can.

Pre pandemic I did see a different t locally to ask a third party opinion. Like how to stop having feelings for your therapist that can’t happen. He was ok but not particularly helpful. He suggested not doing one part of my therapy that takes us out of the office but I find it helpful. But covid got rid of that part for now anyways.

I wish I had better options. In a lot of ways Kashi is the best fit for me in this area however flawed he is

i sorta feel the same way about L. that she's the best fit for me in a lot of ways and that's why i keep going back to her even after I had found a new t i wanted to interview before the stupid pandemic hit here so hard (but he didn't call me back). she's been a huge help in the last few weeks in video sessions even though we had a mess of one 2+ weeks ago, it ended up leading to some really good work a few days ago. i wish you the best however you decide!

Growly—I think there is fit between client and therapist in a personal sense (like if you met them in a different context you’d be friends) and a professional sense (like they are the ones with the best skills and experience to help you).

Sometimes those are the same person, but I think mostly they are not. In my own experience the personal fit has far too much potential to backfire and cause problems, and it’s better to seek the professional fit. I don’t know which Kashi is for you, though.

I don't see a problem trying online therapy. But I don't have any faith that any of them have any real expertise or ethics so the idea that the online people might have less than in person ones is not a concern I would have.

When the lock down happened we had to go to Teletherapy but our work together did not transfers over to this new crazy world and online. I could not continue on with EMDR and Trauma work when I was already traumatized by the real world. I parted ways with him even though my attachment to him was so painful. What worked better for me was messaging a therapist a few times a day on BetterHelp.com. I would get a response at least twice a day. I liked the ability to just vent and not have everything be introspective from childhood. Yes it is a monthly enrollment but it is the same or less amount if I was paying a co pay twice a week and I get so much more! I can also do video therapy with him if I feel I need and it is not any extra.

Welcome back growlycat! I remember you

I usually feel/think like this before and during summer break. Also the tele therapy is a break of sorts too, especially for you if you've found it hard. Maybe wait until you go back and see how it goes. When I'm unsure, I write sessions down and thoughts/feelings that come after and in-between sessions, to see if there is movement.

Welcome back. I must have missed this somehow. I'm in and out a lot these days. More out than in.

Welcome back Growly!

Missed you growly.

Welcome back growly.

Welcome back 🤗💕 We all tend to go into our universe and find our way back from time to time.