Couch 218: Northern Minnesota 2050

I know I'm being dumb. I guess I haven't broken up with him yet because I feel like I'm old and ugly and crazy and no one will ever want to be with me. So I feel like I can't break it off because then I'm wasting a rare opportunity to be with someone who wants to be with me. But if *he* breaks it off there's nothing I can do about that so it's not me wasting an opportunity, not my fault. Like, I won't look back in 10 years when I am alone and older and fatter and think, "why couldn't I have just stuck it out with J?"

Like I said, dumb.

I think I'm building up to breaking things off with him; it's just taking me a while.

Exsqueeze me? The only thing worse than mansplaining has got to be manchiding! I guess you inconvenienced his fantasy that he could have his cake and eat it too? So that makes YOUR stomach hurt, sounds about right. Lemme at him!

It's okay to post when you're you're doing well and when you're not doing so well. Nobody is sick of you or thinks you're moaning.

The thing with studying is you start when you start. It's okay to start later on.

You deserve a real relationship- I hope you can have the courage to walk away from him when you're ready to.

"Exsqueeze"

Sorry but I love this.

I believe i stole it from comedian Steve Martin.

OOOoo the guy from cheaper by the dozen and father of the bride?

You still get credit for it in my book!

I wondered if i should have said comedian / actor / banjo player!

Hugs, I used to be very bad at breaking up with guys, too. Partly because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. So then I'd end up doing it awkwardly, like over the phone (texting wasn't as big a thing then), and it made it worse, I think (especially as I was 6 months in for a couple of those...though I've also been on the receiving end of phone breakups)...


If you are seeing him this weekend, maybe see how you feel when you do? Though I have to say, hoping he was calling to break up isn't an encouraging sign... Please don't stay with someone just because you're afraid no one else will be attracted to you. Stay only because you're enjoying your time with him and like him.


I suddenly feel like the old, married woman dispensing wisdom, yikes...at the ripe old age of 43! But I also did quite a bit of dating in the past before settling down and know if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

Not wanting to be the bad guy kept me with 2ex way too long.

You could also look back in ten years while miserable with J and say “why didn’t I break up with him back then?”

Is casual dating something that straight people don't do? I know my community has the lesbian joke about what do lesbians bring to the second date - a uhaul. And I do have some friends that applies to -but I was always a fan of casual dating. I don't understand the eagerness to either immediately couple up closely or drop the person. I would understand if you just disliked him, but otherwise - can't you just date him and have fun without getting all wadded up about what is going to happen in 10 years?

A wild and crazy guy.

I think I might be perma-wadded.

Close, but his was "Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me!"




He is a kick-*** banjo player for sure!!

So long as we're on the subject of Steve Martin...

's my favourite Steve Martin skit/song.

I hadn't heard this one! Thanks. My favorite skit of his is King Tut.

And that's a new one on me. Thank you.

My favorite was The Death of Socrates

oh yes, that is a good one as well!!

Exsqueeze me but this was from Wayne's World. Way!

I've started teaching myself how to cook.

T is being supportive about my grieving. Tldr: My best friend / family of choice sibling left after saying a lot of calculated (?) hurtful words.

Diabetic kitty tried to jump up on our bed last night and he couldn't make it and fell. Poor guy, I feel so bad for him. We're getting the xrays done as soon as they can schedule it. He has always come up on our bed during the night and it breaks my heart that he probably won't try again. H went and found him and brought him up there and he layed down and started purring as soon as we started petting him. I'm ordering a ramp from chewy.com so he can still come up there on his own. We'll make this work!

You might have already looked at this but "How to Cook Everything" by Mark Bittman is a great beginner cookbook. Lots of basic recipes and then suggestions for how to vary them.

God, I feel like crap on toast.

Hugs, Chihiro...

Survived awkward conversation with Dr. T about financial stuff. He's willing to reduce my fee a bit so that I can keep seeing him 3 times a week for the next 2 months. Was a small compromise from what I initially asked for, but I'm good with it. I have to start making a car payment next month, so I figured I'd need to cut back to twice a week, but figured would be worth asking him. I felt bad about it, as I'm already paying a slightly reduced fee ($150 instead of $175), but he's said he charges some college student clients $50. So, new rate is $150 for first session, then $125 each for the other 2 sessions. He initially made it through the end of October, then said he'd switch it to the day after Election Day in early November, as he imagines that will relieve a lot of stress for everyone (we have similar political views). It takes a lot of weight off my shoulders knowing I can stay with this schedule for another 2 months, especially as D will be starting school with virtual learning on Sept. 8. Note that my insurance reimburses 60% (he's out of network), so I'm not paying that all out of pocket, but insurance also takes about 2 months to give us payments.